How To Prepare For Change

Human nature is thirsty for change: we constantly reinvent ourselves, like chameleons. It doesn't matter if it is a change of haircut or the purchase of the latest type of mobile phone. Our nature longs for change. Figures show that a 36-year-old woman will have already changed 9 jobs, 11 homes, and 5 sexual partners, according to a study conducted in the United States.

But we are stubborn enough to keep bad habits. Newlyweds are advised not to try to change each other. Two-thirds of those on a diet gain weight back in the next 6 months. How many times have you said that the gym is too far away, but when one opened right next to the block, you didn't even get there? We find so many excuses not to do something good for ourselves, for our body, and our spirit.

Get ready for change

Dr. James Prochaska of the University of Rhode Island in the United States states that "Some people make drastic changes without reverting to old habits, but these people are very few." It's clear - change is not easy! High self-esteem, the support of friends, or an iron will are not enough. Here are some steps that will help you, so get ready for transformation!

1. On the spot! Get ready! Stay!

You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people. It's not like that. Dr. James Prochaska, the co-author of Changing for Good, says that the main reason we fail to make irrevocable changes is that we are not prepared for it. There are 6 steps to success (and actuation is only step 4).

The first step is pre-intention - when we still don't realize we need to change something. The second step is the intention - it's time to dump her and move on, but we're not ready yet. The next step is to prepare emotionally: set a goal, decide how you will measure your progress, and make a realistic plan before you change anything. Everything has to be set up very well. Vague goals only lead to failure!

Instead of promising yourself that you will go to the gym as often as you can, it is better to set aside the days of the week set aside for these exercises from the beginning. Try to increase the number of sessions as much as you can by the end of the summer. If you find an exercise partner, so much the better. That way you can push each other.

And what could be better than a friend who understands the "torments" you are going through and who shares with you the aspirin that will get rid of muscle fever? All these steps sound daunting, don't they? But don't skip them - training is half the battle, and the chances of success are much higher.

2. Find a strong motivation

Put aside the statements like, "This is the last dress I'm going to buy in the next 3 months!" How much decision and how much confusion when, in 3 months, you still don't seem to have enough money, even though you kept your promise.

Decisions based on current emotions are not serious, because that fear or anxiety disappears after a few days or when temporary solutions appear. To stay in position, you need to see a very strong reason to start this action. Make a plan to include small but achievable steps. Find the priorities and see if you can finish them as soon as possible.

You do not intend to get rid of all debts this month. If they are too big, you will not succeed, and that will discourage you. Allocate a longer period and you will see that it is even possible to save some money. Add to the list a few pleasures, such as holiday fundraisers. How nice the holidays will be after you get rid of debt!

Little by little, tick off the list of what you set out to do each day. It is a long and stressful process, but the pair of shoes and the dress you buy after that will bring you so much pleasure. You will no longer have the thought that you have to give up something to buy them. You will simply have a special fund for such whims (or "necessities" - as we call them).

3. Make yourself uncomfortable!

The new habits you have set for yourself may seem awkward. It's normal. Until yesterday you didn't get out of bed, and now you go to the gym three times a week and eat healthy after giving up daily McChicken. They will not look very natural to you. Jeffrey Schwartz, the co-author of The Mind and the Brain, studied for two decades the people who find it hardest to make changes: those with obsessive-compulsive disorder who follow rituals such as repeated hand washing or continuous check-ups. stove.

He found that with the change, there were some changes in the brain. After replacing the old ones with new, constructive ones, and repeating them day by day, they became natural. The change is painful and time-consuming and energy-consuming.

It is painful because no one likes to refuse an invitation to the best restaurant on the very first day of the diet. It's painful because you have to throw away all those delicious leaflets right now when they had discounts on anti-cellulite cream, but you've set a goal and it's very important to follow the plan set by you to see! Temptations have a high chance of success.

You can start a diet another time, right? That only the next day is Tuesday and everyone knows you don't have to start something on Tuesday; another invitation to the restaurant appears on Wednesday; Thursday is almost Friday which is almost Saturday, and Sunday would be the culmination! And look how it's going for another week. When you manage to tick a point on the list, congratulations!

It is comforting to enjoy this little success. You can even reward yourself materially or morally (depending on the type of goal you set for yourself). In addition, the congratulations of those around you are even more comforting.

Don't be ashamed of small successes; the fact that you abstain from unhealthy habits will be admired by others. After a while, your brain and body will be in harmony again and you will not find anything uncomfortable. The new routine will become normal and you will feel so good that if you skip one of the new habits, you will miss it.

4. Analyze yourself carefully

You have set the goal and you have already made your plan. You have accepted the idea that any change is not easy - it is a painful process. You threw away the pack of cigarettes and decided not to buy any from now on. So far, so good.

But get to the point where you take a break from work and remember that it was dedicated to a cigarette. It's getting hard now. Do you ask for one or do you go over it? In life we ​​always make choices. There are always two options. It's up to us to choose. Observe yourself in these moments. Analyze your actions and choices so as not to fail. "Analyzing emotions and actions at that time will lead to smart choices unless you leave them for 3 days later," says Sharon Salzberg, author of Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience.

To change old habits you need to look at your weaknesses. Find the reasons why you failed last time and train yourself mentally to succeed next time. Stop, focus and act smart! Take a short break before taking action to review the goal and steps in your plan. And when it comes to folders with cream discounts, think twice if you need them.

Don't you have a bathroom cabinet full of such products, which expire until you finish them? Don't wait for this desire to go away, whether it's a cosmetic product or a cigarette; consciously put those thoughts away!

5. And again… and again… and again…

Change is a long process. Many believe that this is the only step that needs to be taken. In reality, however, "people change only through repetition and practice," says Dr. Schwartz. If we do something consciously over and over again, the connections in the brain are restored.

Of all the methods proposed by Dr. Schwartz, this was the one that gave the best results. Think about what you need to do to learn a foreign language. The plan is to learn English. Then learn the grammar rules and memorize some vocabulary terms. After doing a few tests and seeing that you didn't get a very good result, it's like you feel like giving up.

But buy an audiotape or a CD to listen to in the car - you've already looked carefully at your options and made some decisions to support your goal. Pay in advance for a trip to London. After two weeks spent there, the words come on their own - everything becomes natural.

6. There are no failures!

The process of change is not linear. "We are two steps forward and one step back," said Sharon Salzberg. When you encounter difficulties, don't give up so easily! Put the blame aside, it's not about lack of strength of character. Start over!

It may not come out the first time, maybe even after the fifth… But that doesn't mean you have to stop here. Find alternatives and think twice before giving up. Good luck!