How to Gain People’s Respect in 5 Simple Steps

You know what they say. Respect is earned, not given — let alone, demanded. We all want to be respected, regardless of our age, race, sexual orientation, or ethnicity.

I’m happy to say that all the people in my life, from my former boss and colleagues to my friends and family, hold me in high regard. But that’s something I’ve earned over time.

You might have been told that some people are naturally respected. Well, let me tell you that’s far from the truth. You need to work for it. The good news? It takes a few simple steps.

1. Always Be Well-Dressed

The way you dress is important. We are judged by how we dress. Whether we like it or not.

For example, no matter how clever and hardworking you seem — or how impressive your academic qualifications and skills are — if you show up at a work meeting with dirty, inappropriate clothes, no one is going to take you seriously. Would you take yourself seriously?

The way you dress says a lot about your character, so your clothes need to give people the impression of a serious, responsible person. Now, you might be wondering, “does that mean I’ll have to wear suits every day?” Not really.

Every time I‘m about to go on a job interview or meet with a client, I just make sure that I wear clean, ironed, non-provocative clothes, that conform to established professional standards. Simple as that.

2. Be Careful of Your Body Language

Body language constitutes more than 60% of our overall communication. Yes, I was surprised too, when I first learned that. You can understand that it can tell a lot about what a person thinks or feels.

From giving a speech to an audience to explaining your ideas to someone, it is important that you always maintain a good posture, maintain eye contact, and be in control of your movements.

That is called “projecting positive body language”. According to psychologists, it can help you look more confident, sure of yourself, and more likely to gain others’ respect.

3. Choose the Right Words Depending on Your Topic and Your Audience

Your verbal skills are another thing it’s important to work on. That is because depending on your audience and the topic you want to discuss, you should be able to choose the right words — they will help you communicate your ideas in a more effective way.

For example, if you’re planning on giving a speech to an academic audience, a strong, diverse vocabulary will most likely help to impress them. On the other hand, if you’re about to speak in front of a crowd of everyday people you shouldn’t be too academic but rather use simple words that will most accurately describe your thoughts.

One of my favorite quotes when it comes to speeches is this one by Dionysius of Halicarnassus:

"Let thy speech be better than silence, or be silent."

You should always think before you speak. Every time I found myself in a large company, I used to say anything just to contribute to the conversation. That’s because I felt uncomfortable and awkward. I didn’t want people to think I was anti-social.

The thing is, me saying whatever came into my mind, resulting in some very awkward scenes and me feeling even more uncomfortable afterwards. Don’t fall into this trap.

You should be prepared for what to say and always speak from a place of knowledge. If you have nothing to say, it’s best to remain silent.

4. Speak at a Reasonable Pace

As mentioned above, verbal skills are very important if you want people to take you seriously and respect you. Another important factor when it comes to such skills is the pace at which you speak.

What could I possibly mean by that? It’s simple, really. Make sure you speak at a reasonable pace. Speaking too slow will result in people being bored and uninterested in what you’re saying, whereas if you speak too fast they won’t be able to follow and fully understand you.

5. Learn to Control Your Emotions

Honestly, this one has been the most difficult part for me. But learning to control your emotions is more important than you can imagine. First of all, you should learn to leave your personal issues at home.

Fights, breakups, financial stress, or family issues are things you should leave behind when you’re in your work environment. Otherwise, they will be obstacles, making your work more difficult. Trust me, I’ve made that mistake. Multiple times.

Also, if you find yourself in a situation where people disagree with your ideas and the atmosphere is tense, you should be able to remain calm. Yelling and being rude is never a solution to disagreements.

Instead, by remaining calm, putting aside your concerns, and working together with others, you’re one step closer to being respected and admired.

Once I learned to control my emotions, I started being more productive and responsible. The most important part is that people started relying on me more — which means I had earned their respect and appreciation.

Final Thoughts

Being respected is one of the most important things in life. And something that we all crave. However, keep in mind that Rome wasn’t built in a day. It can take time to earn someone’s respect.

Don’t be too hard on yourself — some people are more difficult than others. Make sure you follow these five tips and always remember: the one who insists, wins.