How to Deal With Your Partner’s Need for Privacy

No matter how close the couple's partners are and no matter how stable their relationship is, it must be remembered that each of them needs intimacy, moments in which he can be himself and relax. Some partners do not understand this need, they simply suffocate their partner and when he expresses his desire to spend time alone, I conclude that they are not wanted!

One can talk about intimacy as space and as time. Although it may sound a little misogynistic, men are often the ones who feel the need to be a little more alone, to retire for a moment from the couple's life, and to be themselves.

This is because a woman is by nature more sociable, she needs human closeness to feel good and open communication. For a man, however, it is important to be able to isolate himself, to feel independent and in control of himself. Have you ever wondered if your partner was talking nonsense while talking about a problem?

In those moments, he wished he had time for himself, to analyze the situation himself and to find solutions. Men are less prone to constant communication. So, if you are in a relationship, be careful not to suffocate your partner and give him privacy!

As mentioned, intimacy can be thought of in terms of space. So it would be perfect if you could each have a space of your own: preferably, a small room in which there are only personal belongings and in which you can retreat to relax, gather, think, to work and to get a little rid of the ubiquitous company of the other!

This idea of ​​the need for personal space should not scare you, it is only logical and maybe in the first months or even years of the relationship, no one feels or admits that they feel this need, but in the end, it will appear! And not just for men! And you, as a man, will have to respect the need for space for your partner, when she expresses it!

But if you can't afford to have a personal room for lack of physical space, then at least create your corner: an office where you can have all your personal belongings, a personal armchair where, when you retire, it is a signal that you want to be alone, even a bathroom (if the apartment has two bathrooms).

In a comedy series (Everybody loves Raymond), the man had the bathroom as his throne (!), While his wife had the kitchen! Going over the joke, each of you must have your own space in which to retire at certain times.

Related to the idea of ​​privacy as a space is the need to have a place that the other does not have access to! More explicitly, a padlocked box, a locked drawer, something like this, in which you can keep your most personal belongings and memories, which you do not want your partner to see or which you are not ready to you show them!

No matter how much your curiosity grinds, respect this right for your partner, and don't try to stick your nose in it! It's better to set boundaries and show yourself where to "hide" your little personal belongings than to hide them! If you look too curious, your partner will feel compelled to look for a place for you that you know nothing about! So you better respect her privacy!

But we can also talk about privacy as personal time! A harmonious relationship involves periods of closeness alternating with short periods of distance, in which everyone "takes a breather"! If you always stay together and do everything (or almost everything) together, in time, you will suffocate and you will reach the situation where any small gesture of the other that used to amuse you, will now annoy you!

Because you did not allow yourself time to relax, to be absent from the other, to allow yourself to miss the presence of the other! Some couples even go to the bathroom together! As touching as it sounds, what will happen in years to come after such an intense and constant approach? There will be boredom, the need for something else, frustration, in a word, suffocation!

So make sure you each have one or two days a week to be alone! It is not so difficult, even though you live together: for example, choose a day when one of you, after work, goes out with friends in the evening - the other has all day at home, and then you can exchange: on another day of the week, the other one goes out with friends and allows his partner to relax alone at home!

Even if now it seems useless and difficult to separate from your partner two days a week, in time you will see that it is a good strategy, which will offer you both privacy and as space and as the necessary time to be alone and to allow yourself to miss each other's company!

And if you decide to respect your privacy, then keep in mind that this also involves the lack of curious questions and checks: if you allow your partner to go out somewhere to relax, the fact that you call him/her and then ask him what, where, to whom who, how much, when, etc., will sabotage the very idea of intimacy!

If you have a stable relationship based on trust and respect, he/she will feel the need to tell you what he/she did, if he/she did something special!

Finally, we can talk about intimacy as a couple: no matter how sociable you are, no matter how much you like to spend your free time with close friends, make sure that at least one day (and evening) a week you reserve time only for you two. Do a ritual these days in two and find yourself like the two lovers from the beginning

Although some couples feel the need to surround themselves with other people, to socialize, to have fun (especially on weekends), these two days are extremely useful in harmonizing the relationship as a whole and in maintaining an exciting sex life! If you usually have sex before bed, these days only for you two allow you to be spontaneous and passionate again!

Besides love, affection, respect, communication, empathy, accepting the other's need for intimacy is an essential ingredient in the recipe for a successful couple relationship!