How to Date a Police Officer

I've been through some rough times with relationships in the past, something I will talk about another day. But today I'm going to let you in on my current relationship. I'm going to call him J for this post.

I suppose I can say that I never knew what happiness was until I met J, I thought I did, but things change with perspective. We met on a night out and our relationship has got stronger ever since. He's a police officer and in my day job, I'm a Paramedic. So we work perfectly together. We don't live together yet, J lives an hour and a half away, so we not only have the shift work to contend with, but we have the distance as well. It's hard, but we cope, and I can honestly say I fall more in love with him every day. (Soppy I know). He cares for me so much and is very protective. We have had to learn to get over several hurdles and make things work and that's what I'm going to talk about today.

It's hard being a police girlfriend. There are other posts about being a police wife, but not much about being their girlfriend. We seem to get forgotten about, but we matter too. I want you to feel that you are not alone. Here are some things you need to know about your police officer:

1 - They won't finish on time, ever. If you are lucky enough to live with your police officer, or if they are planning on coming round for dinner, either plan it a bit later or make sure you've got something quick in, as they won't finish on time. If you are waiting for that phone call to say they are on their way home, I'd wait at least an hour before you start to worry.

2 - They will be called into work on their days off. I'm not sure how it works around the world, but here in the UK the police get cancelled rest days all the time. It makes it very hard to plan anything. Especially being the girlfriend rather than the wife, it just doesn't have as much pull on station. Also its very hard to get one of their colleagues to cover a shift because "the girlfriend will be upset" is not a good enough excuse.

3 - It's really hard work getting them to book a holiday. I have to constantly remind J to book stuff off, he forgets because he’s got so much on his mind. Also if it isn’t booked a year in advance, the chance of them getting it off is ridiculously slim. I'm trying to book us a holiday this year, so far I've spent 3 months begging J to book a week off so we can go away, he finally put the request in the other day... small victories and all that.

4 - You will worry about them at work. Not all the time, I’ve chilled out a bit now, but I still worry. Especially when he rings me to tell me what’s happened, because it’s always something bad. He’s ended up in hospital a couple of times and nearly got shot once (and that’s in the UK!). J is lucky enough to have a Tazor now, but as much as it's extra protection, it also means he's going to more dangerous jobs.

5 - They can't answer their phone at work much, or even reply to texts. This doesn’t help with the worrying, but just know that they want to message you, but they can’t.

6 - They don't get paid much. Nowhere near enough considering they put their life on the line every day. I’m actually classed as the main bread winner, which I’m pretty sure he hates that I earn more that he does. But if I didn’t, we would find it hard to live. What it does mean is that because of my salary we will be able to move in together and buy a house in the not too distant future, and maybe we can finally settle down.

7 - They get scared, police officers may come across as hard and fearless at work, but on the inside they are still human and still get scared. J is scared to be happy, because every time he gets happy somthing goes wrong for him.

8 - Shift work sucks. It's hard to understand shift work, if you dont work shifts yourself. It's a little easier for me, as I have my own shift pattern. Probably the most important thing to note is that you wont get weekends off together very often. It is quite common for both of us to have days off in the week rather than at the weekend. There are some benefits to this.. when having days out, or even just going shopping it is much quieter during the week than at the weekend, as during the week most people are at work and kids are in school.

Above all just remember that they do love you, really they do.

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