How to Break up With Minimal Mental Damage

There are no instructions on how to break up "right" without regrets and pain for yourself and your partner.

But at least we can try to do it with minimal damage to the psyche. Below we will learn how not to get bogged down in an unconsumed relationship with issues suspended for months and years.

Don't say, "It's not your fault."

Don't use phrases like "It's not your fault, it's me", "let's stay friends" and other movie clichés. It's not about you, it's about me "," let's stay friends "and so on.

Clichés are often used when there is no courage, to tell the truth. Or when you are lazy to analyze, to explain, to get into the essence of things. Laziness can do a disservice to both you and your partner.

The consequences can bring you down later. It never happened when it seemed like you were the one who ended the relationship… but does something hard to explain happen when you always remember, dream, and want everything to be as it used to be?

So, in order not to get caught in this trap, do not hesitate to clarify the situation down to the last detail.

Explain the cause of the breakup

All things have a beginning and an end. Explaining the causes of separation means putting the logical point to maintain mental health.

It is very important to understand the causes of the breakup and explain them to your partner. Even if it's difficult. Even if it's unpleasant. Even if you do your best not to do it when it is easier to run away and enter your partner's number on the blacklist.

The causes of the separation must be clear and well-defined. He avoids allusions and ambiguities (to realize for himself), as well as accusations.

Refrain from accusations

Even if many claims have been made against your partner (most likely they exist), try not to say how much repulsion it arouses in you. And so it feels really bad. Even worse than you.

Say what you can't close your eyes to in this relationship, what you can't accept. Believe in your man's intellectual abilities - by doing an analysis he will understand why he is guilty. Of course, if that's going to be important to him. But if he doesn't care, all the more so, he gives up trying to accuse him and make him ashamed of his behavior.

Put the lyrics aside

Most likely, there were not only bad things but also good things. Do not live with memories, this is the most complicated. If you have decided to break up, but you are not trying to manipulate the person (giving him the feeling that he is losing you), then avoid remembering the romantic, pleasant moments and stop your partner from doing the same. It's useless. Let these moments stay with each of you, be grateful within yourself, but do not poison your soul at the time of separation.

Do not cry

You need to keep calm. Try to avoid hysteria, crying, screaming, scandals and emotions, so it will be better for everyone.

If you shed tears when you think of parting, then you cry. But do it in a place isolated from the eyes of the world, with a friend or a psychologist, but not with the one you want to exclude from your life.

Don't postpone the discussion

If you've decided to break up, don't postpone this discussion. The right time to leave a person will never come. Simply remove the patch. Suddenly. Fast. In one go. If you postpone the conversation from day to day, it will not alleviate the pain. In the end, it may not be a disaster, but a gift. It often happens that the partner is happy that the relationship is over.

Thank your partner

To soften the blow for both, say out loud why you are grateful to your partner and your relationship with him. Tell us what you got, what you learned, and why it saved you. But don't forget, but the lyrics aside. Talk only about your experience, about the benefits, but not about the pleasure.

End the discussion

When your emotions subside, you may regret what you said about being affected by your emotions, and you may want to apologize. Then it is clear what will happen. No, it will not be the best sex game of your life, it will be the second round of old problems, much more serious and painful.

Separation is not an easy task. For no one, never. Remember, time will heal you and your partner, and your face will be lit up again with a serene smile.