How (NOT) to treat a fellow believer

This passage is often interpreted by many evangelical Christians to mean that a Christian who sins and is unwilling to repent must undergo the prescribed steps, culminating in being brought before the church. If they still refuse to repent, they are to be treated as a pagan or tax collector. This is followed by the verse stating that whatever is bound on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever is loosed on earth will be loosed in heaven, concluding with the assertion that if two or three on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them in heaven.

Indeed, quite righteous and authoritative! The authority we hold as Christians is significant. (I trust my sarcasm is evident here.)

Okay, let's look at this passage more closely:

Verse 16: "If your brother sins"...take him through the following steps, if he does not listen treat him like a heathen or tax collector which are going to hell according to the dominant teachings of the Pharisees and Saducees.

It's intriguing to note that the text specifies if your brother sins 'against you.' This indicates the passage is referring to transgressions between individuals, not those against the community or the planet. It's a personal issue.

The initial action should be a private discussion. The first move is to express your grievance to the other person and hear their side. It's crucial to remember that this sin was committed solely against you. Ideally, this approach should resolve the issue. Personal dialogue can often remedy a personal conflict.

The next step is to take two or three others along. That means you have to convince those people that you are in the right and that the problem is bad enough for them to get involved. Getting involved might not be a big problem for some, but others might view it differently. Many disagreements might come to a standstill right then and there. Because by taking others along to discuss the "sin", they might become privy to information you might not want them to hear. There is a risk involved there. You really have to be sure to be in the right and only in the right.

Next step is to tell the whole church. Wow, that is a huge step. Not only are you telling your side of the story, the other side will come out as well. And in a whole big community setting the chance is big that there are going to be people who disagree with your personal side of the problem. Do you want everything to come out? Again, a huge risk. If not, let the matter rest!

If a person remains unrepentant after all the prescribed steps and the entire church concurs with your view, only then do you have the right to treat them as a tax collector or pagan. This is where the majority of Christendom concurs that it means no contact whatsoever, in any form, similar to how the Pharisees treated tax collectors and pagans.

Have you followed all the steps? A personal discussion, a meeting with witnesses, and then a discussion before the church? If yes, and you've allowed the other person to present their side before witnesses and the church, then you may treat them as heathen and tax collectors. However, if these steps were not taken, you do not have the right to do so, and you would be sinning against God yourself.

Let's consider how one should treat tax collectors and heathens. What is Jesus truly conveying here? Is he suddenly endorsing the Pharisees' conduct by instructing his disciples to act in the same manner? That would indeed be peculiar. To command his followers to emulate those he labeled as vipers seems contradictory. Is that his actual message?

Certainly not! How did Jesus interact with heathens and tax collectors? He healed them or their relatives upon request. He shared meals with them. Recall Zacchaeus? Recall Mary Magdalene? He even used her to admonish the Pharisee who had invited him to dinner. Jesus demonstrated love and fellowship towards heathens, sinners, and tax collectors alike.

Only after this admonishment does the verse follow, stating that what we bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and what we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

Consider the power of this statement: if we have fellowship with heathens, sinners, and tax collectors on earth, we will have fellowship with them in heaven. I don't believe this grants carte blanche to all. However, I do believe it indicates that through our lifestyle and behavior, we have the power to "help people into heaven" by forgiving them. Conversely, we could also "help" them remain distant from God.

This interpretation seems more logical than the conventional one, especially since it is immediately followed by Jesus' parable of the unforgiving servant, which teaches us to be as merciful as Jesus when dealing with those indebted to us.

How does Jesus conclude the parable of the unforgiving servant? "In anger, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

Another point: show me where it is written that a sinner must come to you, your entire family, and your congregation to seek forgiveness for a wrong done against you. Please refrain from saying "it affects everyone" or using this as a justification for all actions. After all, it's clear that our actions have the potential to impact others both positively and negatively. For example:

Yesterday, we were in a fast food restaurant. I was waiting for my ice cream cake and watched as a young white man made his order. Just as he got his cup a young Native man walked in, very unsure about himself, kind of rough looking. The white man turned around, handed the Native man his cup and told him to get himself something to drink.

I was deeply touched by this action of a complete stranger. I told my huband, Native himself, and knew by his reaction that it had affected him too in a positive way. So, yes, we never know how far our actions can reach.

As this writing should make it clear that there is no reason to shun a fellow believer without taking the proper steps, I will now plan my dinner party to which you are all invited...knowing my cooking though, I hope you will be okay with Kentucky Fried Chicken!