How my life started over

I was sitting in the park. Basking in the sunshine, watching diamonds sparkle on the pond. Even with all the beauty around me I was infinitely sad. I allowed myself to get so far into debt I had to sell my house. I am a paycheck away from living on the street. Maybe I could couch surf for a few months before that happened. Month after month of borrowing against one credit card to pay for another, just desperation. Just as I was wondering how it felt to drown under glowing diamonds, the shriveled old woman sat down next to me.

“That’s one answer but there are other options, my dear, “came out of her mouth as she twisted and pierced me with serious, deep black eyes.

I was so shocked I replied, “Like what? What other options are there?”

I should have known I was in trouble when she smiled, it was pure delight and evil.

“I can make all your debts go away and leave you with $20,000 to restart your life,” she informed me as she took a small black notebook out of her bag along with an ink pen.

After opening the notebook she continued, “All you have to do is sign here and do what the book tells you.”

“Ah,” I thought,” it’s a scam. Now this makes more sense.”

I’m not really sure when she handed me the book and pen, why I took them, but I did.

She just sat there, watching me with those eyes. I felt her peel away all the layers of me and see into my inner self.

I looked down and opened the book, the page I opened it to was empty, I quickly looked up at the old woman.

She said, “Turn the page until something is written. That’s the challenge for you.”

I handed her back the notebook and pen without looking at any other pages and walked away.

My money issues always interfered with my sleep, and when I finally drifted off had disturbing dreams. Waking up extremely unrested I found myself back on that same bench. And the next day and the next. The old woman was there with her small black notebook. Each day I took the book from the woman and stared hard at it, waiting for an answer.

On the fourth day when the woman handed me the book she said, “I won’t be coming back after today. If you want your chance for a clean slate financially and $20,000 to start over you’ll need to choose today.”

“How can I sign if I don’t know what I’m signing? That goes against everything we are taught about knowing the details of whatever you sign.”

She just stared at me, waiting.

I don’t know what came over me, perhaps just the sheer desperation that I had been feeling for months culminating in making a decision to move forward with something in my life, to take a new, next step. For so long I’ve been lost on the ocean, with clouds covering the sky so I can’t even get a clue on which way I’m moving. Even if I knew how to move the boat without a motor or oar. Just the sheer desolation of what I was, unending isolation and no direction of where to go for help. I’ve just had months of feeling there was no way to fix my situation, I know others have been in a similar situation and figured a way out of it, but I just did see it.

Suddenly with a sliver of hope, “what kind of debt were you in,” I asked the old woman.

She looked at me with very cold eyes and said, “The book solves many problems.” It was clear I shouldn’t ask her anything more about her situation.

I opened the book and turned to the pages until I saw writing. Before I read what the page said I look out over the lake for several long minutes.

As the ink flowed onto the page as I signed my name I felt a surge of power. The words written on the page were “You must forgive the current bearer of the book and then take their place.”

I looked at the woman and said “I forgive you” and placed the small black notebook and pen into my purse. I was compelled to move, I knew my journey was just beginning.