How I Stopped Chasing People and Finally Found MySelf
Sometimes losing people is NOT A TRAGEDY it's the start of founding YOURSELF
By Ayesha WritesPublished 3 months ago • 4 min read
A heartfelt story about letting go, healing, and finding yourself again.
- The moment I stopped running after people changed everything.
I used to beg people to stay.
I overthought every text, every silence, every shift in tone.
I convinced myself that if I tried harder, loved louder, or explained more, I could hold onto everyone.
There was one day that sticks in my memory: I called a friend I hadn’t heard from in weeks, and they didn’t answer. I waited hours, my mind racing with every possible reason. By evening, I realized I had been waiting for validation that would never come. That moment broke something inside me and quietly, I made a choice to stop.
But maybe that’s why I kept losing myself.
The exhausting chase
If someone ignored me, I blamed myself.
If a friend grew distant, I tried harder.
If someone didn’t call back, I stayed awake, analyzing every word I’d said.
Until one day, I just broke quietly no shouting, no dramatic confrontation just exhaustion.
That morning, I looked in the mirror and whispered, “No more.”
At first, it felt terrifying. My phone stopped lighting up. My usual comfort constant connection disappeared. The silence was deafening. I thought I’d never feel whole again.
Finding myself in the quiet
Slowly, something shifted. In the quiet, I started noticing myself again.
I began taking long walks without distractions. I picked up my journal and wrote pages of thoughts I’d been too busy to process. I listened to songs I loved, not the ones I used to play because someone else liked them.
One afternoon, I took a spontaneous trip to the local bookstore I’d loved as a teen. Browsing through shelves alone, I realized how much time I had spent trying to fit into spaces I didn’t belong. That small, ordinary day reminded me that freedom starts from within.
Another day, a friend ignored my invitation to a gathering. I felt hurt, but instead of chasing an explanation, I went to a nearby park and sat by the lake. Watching the ripples, I understood something profound: Some people aren’t meant to stay, and that’s okay.
I realized peace doesn’t come from people. Peace comes from permission.
The permission to be yourself without explaining, without performing, without shrinking to fit someone else’s expectations.
Healing and growth
And as I embraced that peace, my world began to change.
New people appeared the ones who didn’t need me to dim my light.
I learned that true connection isn’t about chasing. It’s about showing up as your full, authentic self, and letting the people who matter find their way to you naturally.
Healing isn’t about becoming cold.
It’s about becoming selective.
It’s about choosing the people, the habits, the energy that fuels your growth instead of depleting it.
It’s about valuing your own time and attention because they are precious, and giving them away to those who don’t appreciate them is exhausting. LOVE YOURSELF FIRST
Actionable personal growth tips:
Set boundaries: If someone consistently drains your energy, it’s okay to step back.
Journal daily: Capture your thoughts to identify emotional patterns.
Take solo trips or walks: Give yourself space to recharge and reflect.
Prioritize self-love: Celebrate even the smallest personal victories.
Practice gratitude: List 3 things daily that bring you joy or peace.
Visualize your future: Imagine a life where your energy is respected and focused on growth.
Detach from outcomes: Stop chasing validation; focus on your personal progress.
Implementing these strategies accelerates emotional healing and draws the right people into your life naturally.
Some nights still hurt. Some memories still sting.
I still catch myself overthinking old texts or wondering why some people walked away.
But now, I know this: you don’t have to chase what’s meant for you.
You just have to be. Be patient. Be kind to yourself. Be willing to let go, and the right people will stay effortlessly.
I started noticing small joys I had forgotten: the sunlight hitting the floor in the morning, the quiet satisfaction of finishing a book that speaks to me, the thrill of achieving something I never thought I could.
I found that self-love isn’t about ignoring the pain. It’s about acknowledging it, processing it, and then moving forward anyway.
Every time I chose myself, I felt stronger. Every time I let go of someone who didn’t reciprocate, I grew freer.
If you’re tired of proving your worth to people who don’t value it, read this twice:
You are not too much.
You are not too emotional.
You are not too loud or too soft or too sensitive or too ambitious.
You are just giving your energy to people who don’t know how to handle it or maybe to those who don't deserve it.
And that’s okay. Let them go.
Let peace take their place. Let growth take their place. Let healing take their place.
One morning, you’ll wake up and realize you’re not exhausted from chasing anymore.
You’ll see yourself again not someone who constantly seeks validation, but someone whole, empowered, and free.
And that day, you’ll understand: losing people isn’t always a tragedy.
Sometimes, it’s the first step toward finding yourself.
Sometimes, it’s the moment you stop running after others and start running toward the person you were always meant to become.
tis evresed't nod oh wIf this story resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear this today.
#HealingJourney #LettingGo #SelfWorth
About the Creator
Ayesha Writes
Writing real stories that inspire, heal, and motivate.
Every word comes from experience " written for hearts like yours."
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Comments (3)
I've let many people go in my life, and during these instances, I have discovered profound peace. The people who were never meant to stay were the noise disrupting my well-being.
I love this 💖
Great job,😍😍😍