How have you been doing since the divorce?

I stumbled upon the topic and paused. Yes, how have I been doing since the divorce? If time can go back I will not get married, although now divorced, but with a scum married the damage and impact is long-term. The moment the divorce was finalized, I breathed a huge sigh of relief, like a boulder had been lifted from my chest. The spirit is much better than in the marriage, and finally with this person has no relationship, and then how to die and do what things have nothing to do with me, and finally don't have to see this bring harm to me. It feels like a new life. Materially, it's not good, a person with a one-year-old child, no house, no property and no decent income. Educational background is not high (private Erben Zaizhihu in third-tier cities is about equal to illiteracy), ordinary appearance, height of 167.5 is not short, after weaning the child found a job, income is not high. Fortunately, I met a very nice landlord who took pity on my parents, and the rent was very low, 1700 a month, and it was the kind of staircase house from the '80s, and I cleaned it up for three days and put it in a clean and tidy place, which is not bad. I take care of the kids. Every dollar goes somewhere. Now the breakfast hot and dry noodles are 5 yuan a bowl, but there are still some remote places have 4 yuan a bowl, of course I go to eat 4 yuan a bowl. Get to work early in the morning or I'll have breakfast at home. I used to love soy milk, but now it's too expensive to drink. There is a colleague in the company who grows fruit at home and often brings some fruits to share with us. I will keep these small fruits and bring them home to my son to eat. Sometimes it is a small peach and sometimes it is a few small tomatoes. And I kept the snacks from work to take home. Milk powder is a big cost. I think I should lower the price of his milk powder a little more. I feel sorry for him. Although it was very difficult, but never had a bad mood for him, are the most patient and gentle side to the children, so he is so far a love laughing love with me play pettish and lively child. As mentioned above, although the divorce, but the damage left is the shadow of the shadow, busy time is OK, whenever quiet down, think of the future life will be very confused and depressed, I don't know if I can hold on, but can not hold on to what? For a failed candidate in a failed marriage, I regret it all the time. It's my fault I didn't know how to read people, and I didn't have a strong family behind me. My ex-husband is a veteran who quickly learned my weakness and put on a good show. I am a family concept is very heavy people, in my life plan to get married and have children this item (I know this is not in line with the political correctness of Zhihu), the biggest pursuit is to have a harmonious home, have a lovely child, live the ordinary life of tea rice oil salt. Take a walk with loved ones after work. Take the kids to the amusement park. It's easy for me to do all the housework. So after I got married, I tried my best to run the family. Once I had any dissatisfaction, I would reflect on where I did not do well. If I did not like to go home, I would change the pattern of cooking and clean myself up every day without losing my temper. As time went by, I did more and more, but didn't get any positive feedback. At that time, I still wondered what was wrong with me. Even though I communicated with him for many times, he didn't communicate with me at all. Often a person breakdown, now seems to be really pathetic, not I did not do well, is a cold-blooded animal need a housework what all listen to him and regardless of his nanny. His humble to the dust, infinite tolerance and concessions, in exchange for his unbridled outside the stock gambling pattern. When I was pregnant and found out all sorts of evil deeds, I thought about whether to abort the child every day, but my steamed stuffed bun character and heart softened, so when the child was born, forced him to divorce. Later, for a long time, I could not watch the particularly sweet plots in TV and movies, and I would break down and cry. Even at the beginning, when I saw ordinary couples on the road, I could not help shedding tears. How could they all be so happy? A friend said, it is my character to indulge him, indulge the evil in human nature. I am a weak personality, personality is not independent of people, no temper, habit of tolerance to please others, the fate of the character is me so, he is the steamed stuffed bun is easy to be remembered by the dog. I am very afraid of loneliness, and I am very dependent on people spiritually. However, I am not clingy, and only a little love and care can be enough for me to face everything in life. I do not plan to remarry, because I do not want to have another child, I only have enough energy to raise a child, also do not want to be a stepmother to others, complicated family relationship is difficult to balance. Besides, no one will remarry me in such a situation. It's not poverty alleviation, haha, I still have self-knowledge. When I'm in a hole, I talk about it, and every time I think I've settled down and nothing worse can happen, there's a new shock, and it happens again and again. Has passed the emotional ups and downs of the period, do not know now is numb or resigned, there is no chicken soup and no special anger, after this word, also want to continue to work. My goose and I, hope he grow up happy, I work hard to feed him. ........................... Line.......................................... Thank you all for your encouragement. You really are all kind people. There are also some girls with my common encounter, you do not be afraid ah, I will repeat a few words, about how I came out, for reference. After a divorce, the first thing to do is to find the right place to live. There are hundreds of dollars a month that is to rent, with children to rent first do not say that the party is not convenient, can be rented by the people abandon death, so can only find the whole rental house. The whole rent minimum 1,200 to 1,500, poor lighting, no space for children to play, and some of the first floor dark and damp mosquitoes, such a house to live in is not good for children's physical and mental health. We adults work less at home during the day, but the children are still young and spend more time at home. No space to play is like a dog in a cage, which affects personality. Finally, I found the place where I live now. Although it is a very old house, it has good lighting and dry. It is not big, only has a one-bedroom, but there is a small living room for children to play. The neighborhood security environment is also good, usually I a woman with a child will not be afraid. Transportation is not central but it is convenient. At that time, I had in mind a budget of 1,500 is the limit, although it was beyond my budget, all things considered, my personal expenditure to the minimum can still bear down. And I am confident that my income will increase in the future. After settling down, I began to plan the direction of my work. The previous work intensity was high, and I often had to work overtime. My child was too young to accompany and take care of, so I decided to change my career. Children more than three months when I was ready to textual research, nursing when reading, baby fell asleep I brush questions. Fortunately, once passed, and so on after the examination results came out, the resume, find a job on the breast milk, at this time the child is almost a year old complementary food also eat well, with a month of time to gradually break the breast milk. The initial salary will not be high, which I know well. The goal I set for myself is to quickly familiarize myself with the new job within one month and become skilled in it within two months. Until now the work has been smooth, so now set a small target, for the end of the year 1,700 rent is no longer my big burden, hee hee! And how to raise a child economically, children's clothes and toys are almost no money, you just ask your relatives if they have old clothes for you, you will receive old clothes from all over the place, ha ha, and they will all say the same thing: I am afraid you abandon it, my children's clothes and shoes are good, have not worn twice, new the same, lost a special pity, if you want to leave you later. I quickly nod like pound garlic, good good. So there are piles of clothes and toys in my home, which are most of the famous brand are also very new. Pure breast milk feeding before weaning does not need milk powder, after breaking breast milk a day to drink two meals to add three meals is enough. Now milk powder and diapers are a large amount of expenditure, this can not be saved, you can wait for the supermarket mother and baby shop discount when more stock up. Fruit, too expensive to eat, but often there will be a car with a cart full of fruit parked at the intersection to sell, will be very cheap, are in season fruit encountered to buy a few. As for the complementary food is now big with adults to eat, the other no big expenses. Instead of going swimming, I mostly took him to the park to look at plants, sit down and slide, and watch square dancing. It may also be that he loves me dearly. Now he is one year old, and he is in good health without getting sick. He is also a kind of minor illness that the doctor does not prescribe to the hospital. So I didn't spend much money on that either. There are also my friends who help me when I am in the most difficult time. I have two girlfriends, one of whom often comes to give me a hand to take the children to let me have a rest, often buy baby snacks for the baby, accompany me to take the children out to play, but recently I went to another city. One is not in my city, the work is very busy often do not make a sound to me to pay TREASURE in the transfer of money, the first just moved out of the time the child I did not start work but accept, I went to express gratitude and moved, she said, we are friends are not? Get off your back! But I remember in my heart she gave me every kindness, later I will return! I also met a good landlord, she is the first time to rent the house, she did not charge me a deposit, I repaired the toilet and plumbing, directly free my rent for a month, in fact, I only spent a small amount of money to repair those.