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How Do You Realize That Your Parents Are Toxic

Sometimes it's better to stay away.

By Mike SandersPublished 4 years ago 3 min read
How Do You Realize That Your Parents Are Toxic
Photo by Joe Hepburn on Unsplash

The education received in the family is not always beneficial for the child's development. Parents may be too firm with their little ones, forbid them from developing, or they may be too lenient or careless with them.

All the mistakes that parents make will develop behavioral problems in the child. Later, when he becomes an adult, he will have difficulties in his social and emotional life, in his relationships with other people.

The relationship between parents and children is often sprinkled with toxic elements. Learn to recognize them.

Most parents do everything they can to ensure that their children have a harmonious development and a bright future.

Two main elements decisively influence children's development: on the one hand, it is about the personal baggage that the parent carries with him and that contains personal childhood experiences, but also toxic habits developed later, and on the other hand, it is about the totality of the methods that the parent uses to provide an adequate education to his child, sometimes inspired, sometimes less.

In a toxic relationship, the parent does not have to be malicious, the mistakes can be made in the conditions in which he proves his best intentions.

Therefore, toxic relationships are difficult to identify. Children become accustomed to a certain type of behavior from an early age and adopt a series of values ​​about which they do not ask too many questions, but as they progress into adulthood, questions begin to arise and such behavior becomes more and more important. visible.

Here are some signs that your relationship with your parents may be toxic:

They need you to take care of them

Often, parents with toxic behavior will make their children feel responsible for them and be with them as much as possible.

He urges his children to solve their problems, thus putting behind them their fears, shortcomings, and failures.

The parent does not realize the pressure he is putting on the child and thinks it is normal and healthy to have such expectations from him.

Parents do not make it a priority to help you be independent

You may feel comfortable seeing your parents support you on all fronts, even at the age of full maturity.

However, this attitude is a risky one, because it will not help you at all in trying to obtain your emotional and economic independence.

The attitude becomes easily recognizable especially when they start to question any decision you make, trying to change it.

It blackmails you emotionally

In a toxic relationship, parents prioritize their feelings over yours.

However, things can go even further, by making yourself feel that this attitude is the right one and that you want to take on this priority.

Because, in turn, they have done the same to their parents, it does not seem abnormal for them to do so.

The price paid is that any child will be pressured to take action and please their parents, generating fear and cultivating a habit that, over time, can prove to be dangerous for social life and personal development.

They charge you and blame you for personal problems

Parents often try to find ways to emphasize the sacrifices they have made for you at some point.

For communication within the family, such ideas must be known to everyone, as long as they express facts that happened at one time or another.

However, it is a wrong attitude to make this the preferred reason for coercion.

Adopt a passive-aggressive attitude

This is one of the most common problems in the parent-child relationship, in terms of parental behavior.

Sometimes a parent tries to refrain from negative comments, out of a desire to avoid contradictory discussions, but adopting a passive-aggressive attitude is not a solution.

How many times have you ever wondered if your parents disagreed with one thing, because they were silent, chose to avoid the subject, or left the place?

All of these signals are part of this type of behavior.

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