Hi, I’m the woman you hate

”I do know her” followed by nothing factual. It means you don’t know me. So let’s get to know each other! I would love it.

Hi, Hello, Good day! How are you?

My name is Jamie. I am your kids’ Bonus mom. (Please note, I said bonus mom, because they have one.. and despite what you may think I am not trying to replace you).

I am currently 33, and yes. I reside where you once shared your life with the man I now love. I am sorry that didn’t work, and I’m not here to pass judgement on why it didn‘t. But it didn’t, and I wasn’t a part of it. Even though it’s constantly a fall back excuse for what you’ve done. I will tell you that I didn’t even know him until that one night at Sunoco on Feb. 7th 2019. Then a few days later he found me on Facebook. For those reading this, I will tell that story another time. But fate. That’s all I’m saying for now.

See when him and I met, you said.. and I quote it “I don’t care as long as she cares for my kids as she does her own”.

I have. Some days, I care for them more than my own. And no I don’t mean loving wise (I love all 6 of them so much it’s insane). I mean, we have the boys here 98% of the time. I have more time with them.

When they miss the bus, I take them to school so that you don’t have to be late to work. When they need picked up from after school events, I got that too. Because you would still be at work when they need picked up. When they need a ride to a friends house, I do that. I have even taken them to see your family. I don’t do it to brag, I do it to help. See, that’s my job as a bonus mom. It’s to coparent with you. Work with you. Not against you. I get that step moms get names like “smomster” ( I might have made that one up. Lol it sounds good) but we aren’t all created equally! Some deserve that name. But I have worked really hard for my place in this house. Him and I have tried really hard to defend you to the kids. We have tried really hard to explain why you almost never ask them to come with you. We aren’t the bad guys.

I have taken the boys to their eye doctor appointments, helped with homework. Read and re read projects and corrected spelling. You will be happy to know that they have a full plate of food (home cooked and pretty nutritious, I might add) just about every single night. They hate most vegetables, but they eat them for me. Oh and one time, I found out they didn’t like Lima beans. So the next time I didn’t realize they were in a frozen bag I bought and I dug through the whole bag just to pull them all out for them. My hands were freezing... but I think I got all of them out.

Remember that time you said I can’t have anything to do in their life, and I shouldn’t be able to have any say... but then a few days later when he tried to explain that I spent my own money on clothes for the boys and other stuff? You know what your response was? “That’s her choice!!”

You’re not wrong. It is. It all is. I could choose it’s too much for me tomorrow. 6 kids, 4 of yours and 2 of mine. But I don’t. I don’t ever see that being a choice of mine. And never has been. See, I choose to love your kids. I choose to care for them as my own. It IS my choice, but that doesn’t start and end when I am able to buy them things so you don’t have to.

If you know so much about me, you know I have a heart of gold, sometimes the mouth of a sailor, and an attitude to any who honestly deserves it. But see, even with your countless attempts to get your ex husband back, I still want to co parent with you.

Her and I have such a bond. Your daughter, my bonus daughter. We can laugh all day long. Sometimes her little 4 year old self gets time out lol. But, I love her. We play dress up, we bake things, we play in the rain puddles. She gets little rewards for good behavior. We talk about how. I have she loves you. I tell her that her mommy is her best friend. Oh and I even got her to stop using her binky. Yep, I did that! Again, not braggin, just a proud moment I was able to bribe her.

I made you a necklace with her writing on it, you got so mad. It was bought by me and not her dad. I guess that matters when it’s the same banking account...

I helped her make a serving platter thing for you, you asked “did Jamie help you make that?” and then told her dad you don’t appreciate me doing that for her and you.... and it’s weird.

So for her Christmas bulbs I asked her if she wanted me to write mommy and me, best friends.

At 4 years old she said ”no cause then mommy will ask if you helped me and she won’t like it”. So I kept my hand out of it. I’m sure you will love it anyways. Although I got the ornaments for her to paint. So that’s a toss up too.

Ohhhhh.... and that time that Covid hit. Remember that? Your babysitter was shut down, and you asked if I could keep her. That was fun right? You dropped her off in the mornings, and at 3 years old into 4years old she ran into the house alone. Because you didn’t want my number I guess? I could have met you outside. But remember when I was finally enough for you then. To Be used by you. But when the sitter opened Back up a few months later, and she stayed home with me, you “preferred she didn’t stay with me”

So please understand you don’t know me at all. Because 2 years later you would finally see that I am a benefit to you. I am a blessing to them. This is my life now. I didn’t take it from you, you walked away from it.

What you think you know is what you heard from others. I’m not that person. Whoever you think I am. And when people do talk about me... rememeber there was a time when I was amazing in their eyes.

And to really know me, you would have to get a whole lot of people in a room together. Because no one KNOWS me but the only thing we have had in common, you’re ex, My fiancé. I’ve never been real to anyone in my life. Hell until a few years ago, I didn’t even know who ”me” was. So how could they.