Here's The Thing...

Okay, so here’s the thing about intimacy….it is described by Dictionary.com as a close familiarity or friendship, a closeness. Also, as a private cozy atmosphere or as an intimate act, especially sexual intercourse. Now, I do agree with this description and definition. However, may it be the people I hang around or the things I read, but somehow intimacy in my world is mostly always associated with sexual intercourse. Don’t get me wrong…there is nothing wrong with a little (or a lot) of sex. There are other ways to connect, though. With all honesty, being intimate can turn me on a lot faster than four play.

Yes, of course, sexual intercourse is a "closeness" activity, BUT so is talking or just being next to each other. Not just regular talking or touching, though. You know, small talk or play fighting. No shoot the sh*t type stuff. Like a real conversation with deep emotions, vulnerability and meaning. We are not always aware of the importance of real, give and take conversation. One with intentional listening with the purpose of understanding kind of stuff. There are many ways to communicate. Body language, let’s put our phones down and face each other. Am I right?

When we lean into each other, or make eye contact. At a moment when our hands touch and our fingers get entangled with one another. When compliments and encouragement are trader between us. Secrets are shared, life goals are exposed and desires and fantasies are discovered. Or when just the electrifying energy that is released during such an encounter…is all a form of intimacy. It’s a type of vulnerability, and in allowing yourself to be that vulnerable in itself in my opinion is a turn on. It showcases you feel safe, and that you're trusting in me (him/her/they). Obviously, allowing yourself to be seen in such a fragile, simple state is probably one of the main reasons why most people are so fearful of being intimate. At the same time, this is what makes intimacy so important! You can do it, live through the fear. I pray you find someone who gives you all these feels. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t want to be told or reminded “how we meet”. The first time you saw me in “that” favorite dress (article of clothing or not). Tell me about the time (or times) you realized you loved me, or that you liked me because we all know you can love someone and not like them (laugh out loud). Tell them how you can't stop thinking about them or how pretty you think they are. Or even better, that you love and accept them with ALL my flaws and craziness. Aww, man….that does it for me. Especially, in these days of such judgement, specificity and separation.

Let's keep in mind that there is friendly or non-romantic type intimacies as well. You know, when it doesn’t lead to copulating. Intimacy is most definitely a feeling, and feelings are a complicated mess of their own. Any discussions about feelings and or emotions will have to happen another time because oOoOh lawdy if that isn’t a rabbit hole we are not going to go down right now… (laugh out loud) We can save that for another time. Maybe, feelings are something else...

For me, these unappreciated, overlooked and yet very meaningful little acts, usually mean so much more and often lead to the coitus anyway. Which is the most controversial intimate act there is…

People often underestimate the power of simplicity.

Just some thoughts from ME.