Little Women: If Beth Had Lived 3

"I always thought that I would be the one to stay home while everyone else went away," Beth said. "Yet here I am about to board a ship to go to Europe."

"Life is sure full of surprises, isn't it?" Laurie agreed. "I went to Europe hoping to find love, when it was right here waiting for me all the time."

"Do you remember that afternoon so long ago when we all sat on the hill building castles in the air? You spoke of settling down in Germany and becoming a musician, and I said that all I wanted was to stay home with Mother and Father and help take care of the family."

"That was a long time ago," Laurie said softly. "A lot has changed since then."

"Do you remember looking across the river at the meadow and talking about how much more beautiful heaven is? I said that it seemed so long to wait, and I wanted to fly there right away."

Laurie was silent, remembering the words he himself had spoken that day. I shall have to do a deal of traveling before I come in sight of your Celestial City. If I arrive late, you'll say a good word for me, won't you, Beth?

"Ah, Beth, but you're so badly needed down here." He swallowed the lump in his throat as he hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head, thinking about how very precious she had become to him.

Laurie knew that something was different as soon as he approached the March house that sad day. A feeling of dread within his heart was confirmed as soon as Jo came to the door. The look on her face left no room for doubt.

"Have you ever had scarlet fever before, Laurie?"

"A long time ago. Why?"

Jo looked relieved and stepped aside so that Laurie could enter.

"Beth is very ill," she whispered.

"Oh no!" Visions of his lost little sister immediately came to him. "Would it be better if i came back at another time then?"

"Wait here for just a minute. I'll go see if she's awake and up to having company." Jo left for a few minutes and then returned.

"She's awake and wants to see you," she told Laurie.

Dreading the state he might find his friend in, Laurie slowly followed Jo to the room Beth occupied. The change he saw in her just broke his heart. The rosy bloom of health was gone from her cheeks, replaced by a sickly pallor. She looked so thin and light that it seemed that a strong breeze would be enough to simply blow her away.

"Hi, Laurie." She smiled weakly, and her eyes lit up.

"Beth!" He rushed to her side, attempting to hide the dismay he felt at her appearance. "Oh, Beth," he said softly, gently sweeping a stray lock of hair back from her forehead.

"It's all right, Laurie. If my time has come, then I'm ready to go."

"Please don't talk like that, Beth." Laurie was near tears. "You can fight this. You can get better."

"I truly don't mind, Laurie, although I shall miss you all so."

"But I do mind, Beth. You're so young. You've never fallen in love, never been kissed..."

"I never thought much about those things before, but now that you mention them..." Beth's voice trailed off, and she looked thoughtful.

"There's just so much in life that you've never experienced, Beth. So much that's worth fighting for. Life itself is worth fighting for."

"All right, Laurie. I'll fight this. I'll try my best to get better."

"That's my girl." Laurie kissed Beth's forehead, which was burning with fever.

"Laurie?" He was almost out the door when he heard her call to him and turned around. "I...I don't think that I want to die without ever having been kissed."

Laurie walked back to the bed and embraced her. "Beth, I promise to kiss you before you die," he told her, chuckling softly. She smiled.

Beth's recovery was long and slow. At first she was able only to lie on the sofa playing with her cats or sewing clothes for her dolls. Her limbs, once healthy and strong, had grown stiff and brittle. Laurie took her for short walks every day, gradually increasing the distance as he felt that her recovering body and spirit could tolerate it.

One day they were about halfway to the river when Beth suddenly started crying.

"I just can't go on anymore," she sobbed.

Laurie came to her and put his arm around her.

"Beth, you made it all the way to the river and back yesterday." His voice was kind but firm. "If you need to rest for a little while, that's fine. But I'd like for you to try to make it at least as far as you did yesterday."

"I just want to go back home." Beth looked back at the house with longing.

"Why don't we just stay here and rest for a minute? After you've had a chance to rest, you can decide whether you want to continue on to the river or go back home."

They sat on the grass resting for a few minutes. Beth's head lay on Laurie's shouder as they looked at the clouds and imagined what objects they were shaped like.

"I...I think I want to try to make it to the river now," Beth said a few minutes later.

Laurie grinned and took her hand, and they set off once more. Within a few minutes they arrived at the river bank.

"You made it!" Laurie gently picked Beth up and spun her around, then sat her gently back down.

"Thank you for being so patient with me, Laurie. I'm sorry I acted like a baby back there," Beth said.

"Oh, that's all right, Beth. No one can be brave all the time, and considering all you've been through, you've been a whole lot braver than most people probably would have been, myself included. Just having to lie in bed for one whole day would absolutely drive me crazy, never mind the number of days you've had to lie in bed."

Beth blushed deeply at the compliment. "Why are you so kind to me, Laurie?"

"Because you're my friend, and I care for you very much."

"Thank you," Beth whispered.

"Why, you're very welcome." Laurie smiled and took Beth's hand, and she smiled back at him. For a long time they just sat together, hand in hand, looking out over the river.