Hard Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Get Back into Dating

There are some days when you find yourself craving company. You’re stuck in your room, deep into thought, thinking of the what-ifs and should-haves. You know it’s a bad idea to get into a new relationship. You’re fresh out of a break-up, so you know that it’s just a train wreck waiting to happen.

Regardless, you still want to get back to dating and learn to love again. You feel as though you can handle relationships again because you know better now - at least you think you do.

Wanting a partner doesn’t always mean you are ready for one. Don’t let your loneliness deceive you from seeing your true readiness.

Before getting into a relationship, do a self-assessment of whether you are emotionally ready. Start by asking these questions:

Am I Emotionally Mature Enough to Handle a Relationship?

Just because you have a lot of relationship experience doesn’t mean you learned from your mistakes. Some people never learn no matter how hard they try.

You can’t let your partner step all over you, but at the same time, you can’t be the one making all the decisions. There has to be an equal share of control. You can’t let your ego and pride get to you either. You’ll only cause more arguments that will harm your relationship.

Being petty, for example, is one immature way of dealing with your arguments. It may be satisfying, but once you’ve died down from your anger you're left feeling guilty.

It’s best to talk things out with a clear mind. No raising of voices or whatnot.

Do I Have Enough Resources to Invest in a Relationship?

To sustain a relationship, you need time, money, and energy.

Couples need time to bond and deepen their relationship. It’s impossible for a couple to go on without having to spend time with each other. They need to be present in each other's life. Dropping by once in a while may not be enough, so you have to ensure that you do have the time for a relationship.

It’ll be hard to get into a relationship when you don’t have enough money to provide for yourself. You have to prioritize your needs first and foremost before committing to a relationship. Don’t try to impress your date with money you don’t really have. If you spend all your grocery money on your date, you won’t just end up broke, you will end up resenting her as well.

Lastly, you need energy to stay consistent in your relationship. That means budgeting your activities well. Aside from your job, are there any energy-draining activities or elements (family, toxic friends, exorbitant hobbies) in your life that you need to drop to make space for a relationship?

Have I Recovered From Hang-Ups?

We all have unresolved issues, and they continue to stay that way even when we think we’ve grown out of them.

You have to be careful not to let your unresolved issues affect others. Even if you are self-aware, you can’t help but slip from time to time. It’s part of being human.

Be fair to yourself and your future partner by ending any hang-ups you have. You’ll make it easier for yourself to deal with other problems moving forward.

Be Honest With Yourself

If you have reservations after asking yourself these three questions, then you probably aren’t ready yet. But if you’ve answered yes to all of them, then you are welcome to start dating again.

No one can dictate what you do with your life. You can get into a relationship, even if you aren’t totally ready for it.

However, there will be consequences for you and your date. You have to be ready to face them.

Life is easier when you make wise decisions. Even if you are presented with the most terrible of choices, you still have the freedom to choose which one has a lesser impact.

Protect yourself. Avoid anything that can cause you harm. From there, you can start the journey to becoming yourself again.