Grief & Mental Health: It Doesn’t Just Go Away

On June 20, 2024, I lost my grandmother (we called her Wella).

And here I am, a year later — still hurting. Still carrying the heaviness. Still waking up with that quiet ache in my chest some days.

Grief doesn’t move on just because the calendar does.

It doesn’t check out after the first few weeks or fade just because you learned how to smile again.

It stays. It changes shape. But it stays.

And when you already struggle with your mental health, that grief can feel like an earthquake inside your brain — shaking the fragile systems you’ve spent so long trying to build. It’s exhausting. It’s isolating. And honestly, it can feel unfair.

It’s Not Just Sadness

Grief doesn’t always look like crying or staying in bed. Sometimes it’s anger. Sometimes it’s irritability. Sometimes it’s a sense of emotional numbness that makes it hard to even connect with the things you know you care about.

Sometimes you feel guilty for laughing. Or for not feeling enough. Or for feeling too much.

Sometimes you’re grieving and healing at the same time — and that tug-of-war inside of you? It’s hard to explain.

For me, losing my grandmother wasn’t just losing a person. It was losing a place of comfort. A rhythm. A history. A voice I still sometimes swear I can hear when I’m having a rough day.

She grounded me in ways I didn’t even fully understand until she was gone.

When Mental Health and Grief Intersect

If you already live with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD, or anything else that affects your day-to-day functioning — grief can magnify everything.

Tasks feel harder. Motivation fades. You might find yourself feeling ashamed that you haven’t “bounced back.” But here’s the truth:

There is no bouncing back.

There is only carrying forward. Slowly. In your own time. In your own way.

Some days I show up strong. Other days I still fall apart. That doesn’t mean I’m failing. It means I’m still human. And I’m still healing.

You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

There’s no “right way” to grieve. But you don’t have to do it in silence. There are people out there who get it. Who are trained to hold space for this very specific kind of pain.

Here Are a Few Resources You Can Reach Out To:

GriefShare – Free local and online grief recovery support groups.

griefshare.org

The Dougy Center – Focuses on grief support for children, teens, and families but has great free resources for all ages.

dougy.org

What’s Your Grief – A modern, non-judgmental resource full of blogs, courses, and coping tools.

whatsyourgrief.com

Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor 24/7.

Also, please check locally.

Many cities and counties offer free grief counseling, support groups, or community wellness centers that can help — especially through hospice organizations, churches, or mental health nonprofits. Libraries and social service offices often have hidden gems listed on bulletin boards or in newsletters. Ask around. You're not a burden for needing support.

If You’re Still Grieving a Year Later — That’s Okay

This post is for anyone who’s still feeling the weight months or years later. For anyone who thought they were “over it” until the anniversary hit and it all came rushing back.

There’s no finish line in grief. There’s only learning how to hold it differently.

You’re not broken.

You’re not dramatic.

You’re not “behind.”

You’re just someone with a heart big enough to miss what mattered.

And that’s a beautiful thing, even when it hurts like hell.

To my Wella — I miss you every single day.

Your love made me who I am.

Your memory reminds me why I keep going.

And to you reading this — if your heart is heavy right now, know that I’m holding space for you too.

You don’t have to move on.

You just have to move gently.

With all the love I have,

Briana