Goodbye, Mattress

Dear mattress,

As you know, it’s almost 2 a.m., and I’m writing this as I lie a bit awkwardly, hiding under the covers to avoid waking my partner—whom you know very well—with the intense light from my phone’s screen.

You also know that, over the past few months, I’ve been consistently unhappy and haven’t been shy in expressing my discomfort with you. Please forgive me if I’ve been too bold; it’s not my intention to hurt you. I beg you not to take it personally, it’s just that the back pain and lack of sleep have taken their toll on me.

I do appreciate you. No, I more than appreciate you—I treasure you. I love you for all the time we’ve spent together and everything you’ve given and done for me. I don’t take any of it for granted.

Knowing that a new mattress is on its way has made me realize that the time to let you go is approaching quickly, as fast as the van that’s carrying it. But even though I’ve been saying, like a broken record, that it’s time for you to go, part of me doesn’t want to let that happen.

Thinking that you’ll be gone soon has me thinking about your importance in our lives and how you've been a witness and a loyal companion in the development of our love.

I’m awake right now because I couldn’t help but reminisce about all the wonderful and difficult moments we’ve shared over the past few years. I couldn’t go to sleep without thanking you once again for each one of them.

Thank you for:

- Welcoming me to Germany to start a new adventure with the person I love.

- Allowing me to wake up refreshed every morning with sunlight on my face, feeling like the main character in a romance novel.

- Being my company as I published my first story on Vocal, and as I scared myself in the middle of the night because I don’t like horror stories but somehow ended up writing one (and winning a challenge!).

- Being my favorite spot for writing many stories since, in the comfort of your support and the softness of the covers.

- Our first Valentine’s Day, sharing a lovely time, eating chocolates, and watching a movie while cuddling (a tradition that continues to this day).

- Being our hideout when we played video games throughout the pandemic, snacking to stay sane, hiding between you and the covers from everything happening in the world.

- Serving as the perfect platform for placing the tripod to record my partner’s home concerts during the pandemic.

- Letting me lie comfortably as I listened to him composing new piano pieces and singing together while he played the guitar.

- Supporting me and bearing witness to my tears each night after I became seriously ill and couldn’t understand the source of my pain.

- Being my companion during sleepless nights as I searched for answers to my condition, finally holding me as I fell asleep, exhausted and with a million questions in mind.

- Being my support after each disappointing doctor’s appointment.

- Holding me after my surgery, providing a comfortable place to rest and recover.

- Adding to the beauty of winter as I woke up to the magical view of snow outside our window, bouncing up and down on you before running outside to make a snowman.

- Coming with us on our first move together, which turned out to be the craziest, most chaotic experience of our lives.

- Being a part of building our new home together, in a space where we felt loved, cared for, and supported.

- Being my late-night companion as I wrote and published countless other stories, each special to me, here on Vocal.

- Being there on the morning before my 30th birthday when I was taken on a surprising adventure.

- Being there when we returned for our first night at home after getting engaged in the most magical way.

- Being my cozy companion when I caught the flu for an entire month and stayed in bed watching Netflix and eating soup.

- Being our favorite place to cuddle as a couple, our little corner where we could speak with open hearts at night.

- Supporting our sleep and being there for every important moment in over four years of our relationship.

- The good times, the sad times, the great times, the challenging times—every little piece of the puzzle.

I now realize how lucky I’ve been to have you in my life at all, as not everyone has the privilege of sleeping warmly on a mattress—even if it’s a bit old and uneven.

It’s not easy to let go, but with a new chapter just around the corner, it feels right to release the past (which served a beautiful purpose) to make space and open the door for new experiences.

I was a completely different person when we met then who I am today. And I will probably transform many times again. We don’t know what the future will hold, but we’re both so happy with the stage we lived together with you. And it seems like a new era is beginning now.

So goodbye, old friend. You'll always be a part of our story.

The same way our body shapes—especially our butts—are pressed into you forever, you’ll always be pressed into our memory (foam).

I hope you loved being in our lives as much as we loved our time with you!

I love you. I’m so grateful for every moment of your lifetime that you gave me, and both of us, so our love could continue to grow and evolve in our little home. I will miss you and remember you.

You'll always have a special place in our hearts: our lovely first mattress.

-

Author's note: This story was written some time ago for a Vocal Challenge, but never published. It seems like a good time to publish it now.