Giving Ex An Ultimatum (Should I Give My Ex An Ultimatum)

Going through a break up is like a terrible bad dream that you do not want to experience again. It is not easy since it is full of emotions like jealousy, anger, as well as regression, but all you ever think about is how to get your ex back into your life, despite of everything that has happened when the two of you were still together.

Whenever that special someone breaks up with you, it can be hard to clearly rationalize through the emotional pain of heartache and abandonment. Out of desperation to win their ex back, most people usually resort to ineffective strategies that outright fail.

They push their ex even further away from them instead of the other way around. So, if you want to get into his/her good side, you should avoid making these common mistakes:

Attempting to Persuade Your Ex to Get Back With You...

You ex will see that you are trying to manipulate him/her into getting back with you which in turn, would only make him/her furious and hate you. Keep in mind that nobody likes to be manipulated into doing something that they do not want.

These are some terrible messages you are sending your ex whenever you try to persuade him/her back into your life:

o You are essentially telling your ex that your feelings right now are much more important than his/hers. Your ex will see you as this self-centered person.

o Trying to persuade your ex into getting back with you basically indicates that you are not giving him/her any freedom to make choices, and he/she will see you as being rude who violate other people's space.

o Begging shows desperation, which will only drive your ex further away. Trying to make him/her guilty or sorry for you are also forms of manipulation. Your ex would be annoyed, irritated and upset and resent you for it. If you always induce him/her with negative emotions, they would start to avoid you.

You would also lose the respect that your ex has for you if you try such approach. No one would ever respect someone who is trying to emotionally persuade another person.

o Giving ultimatums to your ex are manipulative, as well as pointless and useless as you have completely no way to implement them, and he/she will see right through them.

Furthermore, you actually do not have the right to ask or demand something from your ex and if you do attempt to violate his/her freedom, he/she will be insulted by your assumption.

Are You at Risk of Burning All Bridges Back to Your Ex?

It never fails to surprise me when I see a breakup go from bad to down right rotten. Don't you just hate it when your ex's friends are also your friends?

In this kind of situation, there's a fine line between playing it cool versus shooting yourself in the foot.

Do you share mutual friends with your ex? Well, you may well be guilty of a few of these common mistakes.

1. DON'T WAGE WAR AGAINST YOUR EX.

This will probably make you look a whole lot worse than it would make your ex! If you want to look like the "bad guy", then go ahead and badmouth your ex to your heart's content.

Friends who may have been inclined to help you get back your ex will now start to think you were the cause of the breakup, not your ex.

Hold your head high, and continue to talk highly of your ex. Don't smear their name.

Smearing your ex has another even worse effect. It will practically ruin all hope of getting back with your ex. Is that what you really want? I didn't think so.

Cheeky and degrading comments about your ex will definitely make there way to them through your mutual friends. You don't need to be Einstein to work this out.

Would you want to be with someone who talked bad about you all the time? Probably not, and neither does your ex.

2. OOZE WITH MATURITY AND UNDERSTANDING.

If anything will get your friends to help you rekindle the fire with your ex, it's this.

At the very least, your friends are likely to tell your ex that you're holding up well, and that you continue to talk highly about them.

Your maturity from this day on, and your understanding of your ex's situation will help show that you're strong, confident, and anything but needy and desperate.

Now that's going to be very attractive in the eyes of your ex.

3. ABANDON YOUR DESIRE TO GO ON A "SYMPATHY CAMPAIGN".

This is almost as bad as waging war against your ex. It won't turn everybody against you, but will make you look pretty pathetic. Think that's attractive? Think again.

And that's not all. It can easily be seen by your friends as a way to manipulate them to taking your side. Whether you're trying to do that or not, someone is bound to feel like they're being played.

So don't pull a "poor me".

4. DON'T GET FRIENDS TO SPY ON YOU.

This is yet another thing that will drive your friends away, and make them less inclined to help you win back your ex.

Your friends can easily become resentful or feel like they're being used. Spying is definitely not a mature way to get your ex back. Don't do it.

5. AVOID DANGEROUS BOUNDARIES.

When you and your ex have mutual friends, it's possible that everyone will feel a little awkward around each other after a breakup. Your friends and your ex will appreciate it if you can respect everybody's boundaries.

By boundaries, I mean where you lead a conversation. If your ex is around you, keep the conversation friendly. Don't bring up intimate secrets and personal feelings at anytime.

Cross this boundary, and you'll surely burn all bridges leading back to your ex.

You'll also likely scare off friends, make enemies and find your situation going from bad to worse.

6. FEAST ON WHAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER.

This will make you more attractive to your ex and everyone else as well.

Whilst waging war or going on a sympathy campaign will only drive your friends away, enjoying your life will keep your friends around you. It can even bring back your ex as they'll see you as a fun and positive person.

Acting calm, collected and mature around mutual friends isn't the ultimate key to getting your ex back. However they are definitely some of the most basic ingredients necessary.

By following these above tips, you'll keep your friends on your side, and automatically get that little extra pull to bringing back your ex.

Now if you'd like to further boost your chances and claw back your ex, you'll also need a solid game plan. This is a must. Your game plan is like a road map. It shows the final destination and the best path to take.

These tips, combined with a game plan, will make sure you're well on the way to getting your ex back.

Now get out there, and bring back your ex!

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