Ghosts of The Past

I left work yesterday, and finished my afternoon workout like I always do, and I then proceeded to make my way to my brothers house, because I had promised him the day before, that I would take him grocery shopping, being he does not currently have a reliable vehicle. As we were making our way through the store, we were coming out of an aisle, when I heard some womans voice ask my brother how he was doing, I then stepped a little further into the aisle in which my brother was in, and was astonished by the fact I was standing in front of my Ex wife, who I had not seen for over 15 years.

I responded on my brothers behalf, and told my ex wife, that my brother and I were doing fine, she stared at me, with no words spoken, turned around, and began walking away. I thought that was the end of that, but I was wrong. After my brother and I left the store, we started making our way back to his house, to drop of the groceries he had just purchased, when we got done unloading them all, and taking them into his house, I came back outside and was horrified to see my Ex wife's car stopped in front of my brothers driveway, and she was taking pictures of my vehicle and myself. After taking the pictures, she proceeded to drive away, and went around a corner, shocked by the fact this display of suspicious behavior, I walked down in the direction which her car went, to see if I could get a legitimate answer for as to why she would have been taking pictures of me, or my vehicle, however, she proceeded to wave me off, as if I mattered not.

I ensured that I took the right action in this moment and told her, that I was going to get a stalking injunction put in place, so her suspicious behavior, could have no bearing negatively on the life, I have worked so hard to build, after having lost my wife in 2019 and having suffered a mental fragmentation from that event, which left me with schizophrenia, I have put in nearly all my energy into healing from the traumas of the past, so I could have the best possible chance at a bright and healthy future.

At the beginning of me and my Ex wifes marriage, my brother had been going through issues, which rendered him homeless, and since I was the only one in my family, who had the compassion, or stupidity, I allowed him to come and live with me and my ex wife, who at that time was just my wife. These two were literally mortal enemies, the way they behaved was as though they hated one anothers guts, and I suspected no problems to arise which were to come. I cam home from work one day, and found that they were suddenly best friends, and the energy in the house felt completely wrong, (I received confirmation about 10 years after this instance that they had slept together that day). After walking into this situation which felt horribly wrong, I walked right back out the door, and started abusing drugs, to numb the pain, from what I sensed at that time was that my brother and my ex wife had slept together. I dropped out of school, lost my job, and went deep down the rabbit hole of addiction, which led me on a journey of self sabotaging, in an attempt to not have to deal with the pain, I intrinsically felt.

The experience I had with running into my Ex wife at the grocery store, and having her portray behavior which felt to me, like it was stalking, I filed a stalking injunction, and after the police came and filed a report, and delivered a verbal message in relation to telling her and her husband to stay away from me, I ended up staying up much later than I normally do, trying to process the grief that I never fully dealed with, and have now been working on processing regarding the betrayal that I experienced so many years ago. I am writing this for one reason, I was placed in a position where I could have reacted with emotional intensity, when my Ex wifes husband approached me in a manner that was exceedingly intimidating, and was calling me on to fight, I did what is in alighnment with my own personal inner calling, and the change which I want to see in the world. I followed the promptings of my spirit, and instead of responding with violence, I responded with tactful intelligence, which left everyone unharmed, (at least physically), and hopefully remedied the situation in the best possible manner that I could.

If you are faced with a situation which causes emotions to become very high intensity, and difficult to handle, I implore you to take the time, pause, if your able to and process what the most benevolent, and consciously guided decision is that you can make, do not allow your emotions to guide your actions, because if you do, the chances of the actions stemming from the emotional response, could very well end up with a catastrophic ending, where someone gets injured, or possibly worse.

Brightest Blessings.