Getting Older

Getting older is such a tricky thing. On one hand, it’s cool because you gain so much insight, knowledge and power. You learn from your mistakes (hopefully) and you grow and become who you are meant to be. On another hand, your health problems become clear, your mental problems become clear and you can’t push aside toxic behaviors anymore. Getting older is both a blessing and a curse.

My oldest dog in 9. He is a husky/German Shepard/Heeler mix and he has been with me since he was 8 weeks old. It’s been hard seeing him get older. He has been getting skin growths due to age and has new health problems, also due to age. His age has only made me love him more. He has slowed down but I’ve just found out how to cope with that and work with him. Loving him in his old age is easy. So why do I picture not being loved when I get old?

I am 28 and I feel so damn old. My body hurts every day. My hips, knees and back hurt. I take omprezale daily and take Tylenol or Aleve several times a week. I exercise, I watch what I eat and I am trying really hard to take care of myself. I am realizing I have many years ahead of me (hopefully) and I want those to be good, healthy years. Seeing older people in my life struggle, has been hard. I don’t want that to be me.

Growing older can be so nice, though. You get to really dive in and figure your shit out. Being a certain way because of childhood no longer flies. You have to learn new patterns, new behaviors and new tricks. You must take responsibility for your actions and words and move with care. If you are lucky, you get to take these lessons and apply them. Emotional maturity doesn’t necessarily come with age. I think it comes with experience and life. Someone my age could be more emotionally mature than someone in their 40’s and so on. It all depends on how you think, act and feel. It depends on how you act on those feelings as well. Emotional maturity is about being able to undetstand other people and where they are coming from as well. If you’re lucky enough, you get to learn so many lessons as you age.

Age is just a number. You could feel younger or older or a mix. My body feels older but I don’t feel like I know what I’m doing so my mind feels younger. It’s stressful to think I am almost 30 and have almost nothing figured out. But who decided that 30 is old? Who decided that you need to have it all together by 30 or 40 or 50? I think I can have it somewhat together by 30 but not all the way together. It’s going to take time and that’s okay. Age is just a number. You truly are as old as you feel.

Getting older is a blessing because you can learn more, do more and you get to be around another year. Getting older can also be a curse. Your body starts breaking down, you get cranky and you have new worries. But no matter how you look at it, aging is a gift we don’t all get to unwrap. Be grateful that you can celebrate your 30th, 40th, 50th & 60th birthdays. Some folks don’t make it that far. And those of us that do, should live it up for those that can’t. Getting older is a gift. Use it.