From the Edge of Darkness to 90% Light

Written by: Hazrat Umer (A survivor's true account from 2019 to 2026)

My 7-Year Battle with Anxiety, Depression, and How I Found My Way Back

My name is Hazrat Umer.

For a long time, I forgot what it felt like to be "normal."

My journey into the darkness started in 2019.

It wasn't just sadness; it was a storm of tension, depression, and paralyzing anxiety.

It felt like I was drowning while everyone around me was breathing.

I reached a point where I couldn't face anyone.

The world outside my room felt like a battlefield I wasn't ready for.

I was trapped.

The Prison of the Mind

The nights were the hardest.

Sleep became a stranger to me.

Every second was filled with a strange, heavy fear in my chest.

A constant "Ghabrahat" (restlessness) that wouldn't let me sit still.

I was so sensitive that if I heard about someone else’s illness, I felt it in my own body.

I convinced myself that I had every disease in the world.

I spent my days in tears, hiding in corners, crying alone.

The thoughts in my head were my worst enemies.

They told me I was useless.

They told me I could never do anything in life.

The Darkest Thought

Between 2019 and 2025, the pain became unbearable.

There were moments when I felt so exhausted from fighting that I wanted to end it all.

I thought about suicide.

I felt like a burden to everyone.

The anger was uncontrollable, and the fear of death was constant.

Every heartbeat felt like it could be my last.

I tried many treatments and medicines.

But for years, nothing seemed to work.

I felt like I was stuck at zero.

The Turning Point: Fighting Back

But deep inside, a small part of me didn't want to give up.

I realized that if I wanted my life to change, I had to change my life.

I decided to stop looking down and start looking up.

I turned to the One who created me.

I started offering my prayers five times a day.

The sound of the Quran became the medicine my soul needed.

I started Zikr (remembrance) and spent hours talking to Allah in Dua.

I cried to Him, and slowly, the weight on my chest began to lift.

Small Steps, Big Changes

It wasn't just spiritual; I changed my daily habits too.

I stopped scrolling through my mobile for hours.

I started walking every day, feeling the fresh air in my lungs.

I forced myself to think positively, even when it was hard.

I continued my treatment with a new hope.

I stopped focusing on the "monsters" in my head and started focusing on the light.

Step by step, day by day, the fog started to clear.

2026: The New Me

Today, it is 2026.

It has been a long, hard seven-year journey.

But I am standing here to tell you that I am okay.

I was at 0%, and today I am 90% healed.

The fear of death has been replaced by a love for life.

The constant anger is gone.

The tears of sadness have turned into tears of gratitude.

I can face people again. I can go out again.

I can breathe again.

A Message to Those Still in the Dark

If you are reading this and you feel like I felt in 2019—please don't give up.

I know the darkness feels permanent, but it is just a shadow.

Your mind might be lying to you, telling you there is no way out.

But there is.

Focus on your faith. Move your body. Limit the digital noise.

And most importantly, give yourself time.

Healing is not a race; it is a journey.

My name is Hazrat Umer, and I am proof that you can come back from the edge.

From 0 to 90, the light is always worth the fight.

My name is Hazrat Umer, and this is my truth. I am sharing this not just as a story, but as a map for anyone who is still lost in the dark. If I could make it back, so can you.