From Crush to Wonder

It was 5 pm when she received a text from him asking her what kind of wine she preferred. “Red”, she answered, “a Merlot from South Africa, will be much appreciated.”

Looking at herself in the mirror, a smile overwhelmed her entire face. She felt happy, No. Content. Finally, she was seeing him for the first time after all this time. 

“What the night will be like?” She questioned herself.

“What he’ll be like in reality?” 

After all this time, speaking only through DMs, texts, and then calls, she was excited and scared at the same time. 

“Pinch me,” she thought. “What happened? How did I get here?

It was just 6 months ago, I gathered the courage to make the first move and slide in his DM to comment on his story. I never expected a reply!! Ok. I reckon I love to react to his stories with clap emoji 👏👏 or face heart emoji 😍😍.  But I never thought or should I say, I never dared to talk to him. Not because I didn’t want to but because I didn’t want to appear as a groupie. I’m sure he might have a lot of girls sliding in his DMs already. Plus, I don’t chase man, they chase me.”

Thinking all that did not change the fact, that deep down she wanted to talk to him, at least befriend him, at most … You know… Learn to know him?

That’s what befriend him is about, Girl! Be honest.

Ok, she wanted more than friendship. But she couldn’t name it. Out of fear to make it real. To make it accessible. For her, too.

This little voice of fear disguised as pride had disappeared this day. She could have said, she mustered the courage after reading a “girl power” kind of tweet or post but the truth is, she was just bored. So, she thought “Why not?”

After so many weeks of quarantine, she resolved herself to slide into his DM. Luck or not, she just discovered he was in the same town as her. Suddenly, she felt like a field of possibilities came knocking at her door and was ready for her to step in.  She wrote to him saying

“Hey, what are you doing here? Are you not supposed to be in quarantine?” 

A couple of hours later, a sound from her phone, a notification and then a reply.

“I decided to change country while I still can. How are you? The quarantine isn’t too hard on you?"

A reply from her, and another, the whole thing turned into a conversation. 6 months later, here she is, getting ready in front of her mirror for a first date with him. 

2020 surely brought its share of surprises. Many unforeseen realities, among them, sliding into the DM of a total stranger leading to a date -  CHECK ✅.

7 pm, the doorbell rings. Still hot and sunny, this summer day seems to be started. She’s ready. Before opening the door, she scans the dining room to check one last time if everything is in place. 

A look in the mirror, “ You got this, Girl!” and then open the door with a smile. 

Finally, they see each other, in real life. His smile is the same as in his stories. The beard is still there. A ray of sunshine appears on his face, his green eyes are more blazing than ever. All of the sudden, all undesired feelings of fear disappeared, letting place to unplanned feelings of warmth and comfort, in her heart. 

He enters, takes off his mask and greets her with a kiss on her cheek and a hug. Feeling his arms around her along with his perfume was a flashback to the days where wearing a mask in a gathering was unthinkable and most of all offensive. During a short moment, his arms felt like a soft Provençal summer.

She welcomed him on her terrace. He shows her not one but two bottles of wine. A bottle of red wine and a rosé. She started laughing:

“Whoa, so much generosity… I don’t want to doubt it but… Are you trying to make me drunk?” 

Smiling back, he responded: 

“Not at all… Well… You said you love to taste a cold glass of rosé in the summer, so I couldn’t bring you a bottle of red without a rosé.” 

-Oh! You remember! Thank you, this is nice.” 

On the terrace, a decor of plants and lights with some pillows, candles and blankets. The table was set. The view was grandiose. First seats opposite the streets of Paris, and the Jardin des Tuileries. 

To appreciate, even more, she sets the playlist entitled “Chilled” on, first song, “Tadow” by FKJ and Masego, the ambience was anchored. 

He smiles again while hearing the song. She serves him a glass of Merlot and his hand touches hers. 

Looking at each other, they both smiled. The attraction was more than tangible. She didn’t expect him to be as he was in his stories, even more as in their conversations.  

“He seems to be true and caring”, she thought. 

He was relaxed. Seeing her bringing the food, he offered his help. 

Taking seriously her role as a hostess, she prepared cheese boards, pâte de brie, camembert, fresh goat cheese, grapes and figs. A friend gifted her with an assortment of charcuteries, a terroir, dry hams from Bayonne with different kinds of dry sausages from Toulouse. To it she added, fresh pieces of melon to eat with the dry sausages, an assortment of tapas, green olives and small pickles.

The bread was fresh, spending the day cooking. It tasted salty with a glimpse of rosemary and thyme. The butter was soft, the tortilla chips, crispy and the homemade guacamole mixed with lemon juice, very tasty.

She wanted the perfect French Apéro for him, with her touch.

They started to converse, asking her about her day. She felt sorry for him as he hadn’t yet got the time, to enjoy the town with everything happening. He reassured her that it wasn’t his first time in Paris, plus as a local herself, she could be his guide. A few hours later, she proposed to play the card game We’re Not Really Strangers. 

He accepted. As they were going question after question, the atmosphere became more and more friendly. She poured another glass of Merlot for herself. She noticed how fast his barriers were coming down. 

Was it the wine or her natural talent to make people feel secure and comfortable? She wondered. 

For a moment, he stopped talking and looked at her, straight into her eyes for a couple of seconds. During that glimpse, she had the impression he was gazing into her soul like a man staring at a masterpiece in a gallery.

Uncomfortable by this moment of connexion he was trying to have with her, she broke the silence, asking:

“What do you think of me since we’ve been talking and now that we’ve seen each other?” 

He kept gazing into her eyes, almost like he knew the question was meant to escape the moment.

She couldn't resist, she turned away her head. He smiled. Took a sip of wine, then he said: 

“Well… It was like 5 minutes ago… sort of speak. To answer your question, I thought you were even more beautiful in reality. And smart. You always hit me with a profound point of view. A perception of things I never consider. Always enlarging my mind, my vision. I like that. Your turn. 

- Hmmm… What do I think of you…? Good Question. You seem different from your Instagram Stories.

- In what ways?”

A sound came out of nowhere. Her phone.

She wakes up, scrambling around to find it and stop the sound. A little annoyed, it was the weekend. She had planned a cool morning where she would wake up naturally. For this reason, her phone was on silent.

“So, how can it be still on?!” Saying to herself Screaming in her head. 

Looking at her phone with one eye to see what it was about: A notification. 

He answered.