From Bitter to Better: A Chapter in My Memoir

When I stood at the altar, I believed my marriage would last forever. I had no reason to think otherwise. I made vows with sincerity, believing I was building a life on solid ground. Little did I know what would happen a few years later.

I was married for twelve years, but like the hands on a clock, my marriage could not go past twelve. It simply stopped.

I did not expect my marriage to fail. However, it did. My ex-husband returned to a woman he had been engaged to before he married me. It was a shocking betrayal that I never anticipated. One day, I was a wife with a partner; the next, I was alone—left to raise two young children, ages five and seven, by myself.

One day, my seven-year-old son looked at me and asked, “Is Daddy coming home today?”

My heart broke when I said, “No, honey, he is not coming back."

I was broken. I was bitter.

Being Bitter

• I was bitter that I had to be mother and father to two little ones who didn’t understand why their father wasn’t around to help take care of them.
• I was bitter that I ended up as a single parent.
• I was bitter that my dream of "happily ever after" had turned into "no longer."
• I was bitter that my husband didn't discuss the situation with me beforehand.
• I was bitter because I didn't recognize the signs, and it happened to me unexpectedly.

For a while, bitterness was my constant companion. It was consuming my life. It was like a ball and chain around my ankles. I knew that there had to be something better on the other side of my bitterness.

I thought I would never get over being divorced. I thought I would never be happy or laugh again. I felt as though bitterness had taken up residence in my heart.

Even though I was consumed with bitterness, I still had to work and take care of my children because my ex-husband turned out to be a "deadbeat dad."

Changes I Had to Suddenly Make

I learned to cook for three instead of four, replace light bulbs in the ceiling, mow the lawn, fix things around the house, pay bills on time, take two young children to after-school activities, and read bedtime stories to them after a long day.

Being Better

Just as my divorce was unexpected, the bitterness began to leave unexpectedly. Day by day, I began to notice that I was going from bitter to better. I became stronger, wiser, and began to smile again. Once, I surprised myself by laughing.

I began to tell myself that my life would be better. That became my affirmation. It became my mantra.

"Every day in every way, I am going from bitter to better."

I Learned to Forgive

I learned that I held the key that would unlock bitterness from my heart. Furthermore, I learned how to evict bitterness and replace it with a new tenant. When I opened up my heart and let forgiveness in, there was no room for bitterness.

"Forgiveness was the key that helped me go from "bitter to better."

Final Reflection: "From Bitter to Better"

My unwanted divorce is what made me bitter. There are other causes of bitterness. However, the remedy is the same.

Bitterness had held me hostage for a long time. Today, I can truthfully say, "I am not bitter. I am better."