Friendships.

You hope that when someone comes along, that you can find a way to grow together and share yourself with them without prejudice. A match can start a fire, but two people can keep it burning for years, if they really want to.

Nice cozy words to tell someone, who thinks there is nothing more to do and the rest will fall into place. Friendships are hard and there is not a handbook on how to do it right and many times people will do it wrong. I am the master of screwing up relationships with other guys. I say that because that is who I associate with more since I am gay. I talk to women, but I do not care enough to really want to know anything about them.

Most people do not take the time to understand the other person who is holding their interest and they second guess who they are. I do this with everyone and I even have my own disclaimer that I send them after I tell them hi “I always say or do the wrong thing and I am bad at friendships and worse in relationships and I really do not know how to start with you” And guess what? I still get blocked on social media, even with my disclaimer, but before they block me, they always end up telling me that I made them uncomfortable, did you understand my disclaimer?

Life is not a soap opera and I do not want to drag out getting to know someone, so I move fast and I know this, but it should not make people uncomfortable if I tell them, they have nice feet or a nice chest, if we sleep together. I am going to see those things anyway and you are still going to hear it, the only difference between now and then is, you heard it sooner. I had someone tell me they could not tell me their real name.

If I ask too many things right away such as your favorite color, tell me more about yourself, be flattered that someone actually gives a damn, instead of giving me the cold treatment as if I just pulled out your wisdom tooth without using Novocain first. I told someone recently that if they get to know me, you will find that I will say many stupid funny things and I do. Humor is how I get through many things and it is how I try to relax others around me, but I see now I need to walk around like a grumpy grandfather who just found out he has no more fiber pills and because he doesn’t drive anymore, he has to wait for his daughter to come over that afternoon before he can go to the store and get some more.

I believe there is someone that you are meant to find and be happy with and that happen to me this week, it scared me really at how much we had in common, but they went ahead and block me on Twitter and it was because I mentioned their depression in one of my messages to them. If you do not want people to talk with you about this, then do not post a fifty-minute video on You Tube detailing your struggles. I thought I was being supportive when I told him, if some night you feel like you need to talk because you are feeling a little depressed, I will listen. I beat myself up many times because people do not want to talk with me after I have asked them a question because they feel it is none of my business, why should I have to wait a month to find out your favorite ice cream is strawberry swirl?

Most recently I have looked back at the people that I have chatted with and I have concluded, it’s not me, it’s them and they are the reason the match goes out before it can begin to burn a fire between two people. I may move fast with my questions and I may second guess that you need someone to talk to about things not realizing, you already solved your issue with your fifty-minute video. A human is like a car, if it moves to fast, you have to slowly hit the break to slow it down. If I move too fast, then hit the break and tell me to slow it down.

Friendships are hard, but not impossible with new people if they really do want to grow old with you and make it work. If you will excuse. I have to go and make my fifty-minute video and post it on You Tube, so I can solve my problem.