Forever people in a temporary world. Temporary people in disposable world.

We can't sustain disposable things and relationships these days. It's bad for the planet and our mental health.

Imagine meeting someone, falling for them fast, because they're so well trained in making you feel good with them. They know exactly what to do, great in bed, attentive whilst you around them, caring, just great. They make you feel so good, like you've met your soulmate. On the superficial level, they're just amazing. But you notice that you can't really connect with them on the deeper level, at this point you're not worried, you think there is a rest of your lives together to do that.

So you try to have more meaningful conversations, which mostly fail. It feels like whenever you try to be serious, it bores them to death and subject is being changed quickly. It's so disappointing to try to speak with them, you gradually just stop trying.

Then things shift, you see even less interest, no sacrifices to spend time with you, some lurk-warm attempts to be in touch on a daily basis. At this point you're so hooked, these little crumbs of attention are everything to you and it hurts when you receive less and less. It causes pain, to look at the phone, just to find the message is not there, for hours. It hurts on so many different levels, all your insecurities magnifying.

Days go by and you keep on going, holding on, thinking they care about you. They managed to convince you about it, with all the love bombing you've experienced at the beginning. It's easier to trust than to realize, that they don't care, just using you.

You see, the superficial people are damaged too, they don't want to trust new people. They purposefully won't let you in, so they don't have to hurt when they see you go. Starting strong and loosing interest fast, in a hope they won't hurt ever again. I won't even mention people with serious mental conditions, just people you get to meet in everyday life and who seem ordinary.

Temporary people crave the connection, just like everyone else, maybe even more. They know exactly how to make you fall for them, especially if you're sensitive and will use your affection until you let them or until they discard you.

I've learned to trust my instincts. Not believing in big declarations at the beginning, talking about marriage and house together sounds like a dream if you falling for someone, but think, forever people would never say that, unless they really mean it.

I've fell in love a few times in my life, but would observe myself for ages, to make sure that what I feel is genuine. Only once I've said it and meant forever. It didn't work out, happens, but I know I'd stay loyal to them for the rest of my life.

We often make excuses for people we like, that's such a trap. If we don't set up boundaries, we won't receive the respect we deserve. Communicating our needs is our right and if someone is pushing us away because of it, they don't deserve us in the first place. It's about working with your loved ones, learning about them, anticipating their needs, but also feeling appreciated.

The effort needs to come from both ways and takers have no limits when it comes to receiving, but givers feel drained and unhappy. It's such a vicious cycle. The hard part is to stay away, even though it feels so good.. But it's worth it, the right one is not far away. We just need to overcome the standard responses and get smarter with these people, think with your head and concentrate on people's actions. It doesn't matter what they say at all. If you feel undervalued, don't stick around in a hope that someone will change and start to treat your right, it's not going to happen. Accept it and move on. Once you can control yourself better, not falling for the wrong guys, the right one will find you faster.