For Anyone Who Feels Like Stepping Off the Ledge

12/02/2020

I was sitting in the living questioning my entire life, my morals, my values. I hate when my mind starts to wander. Trying to ignore the other voice inside of me. My phone dinged and I looked down to see who needed what from me this time.

Humanity is so demanding of each other sometimes. As if we were all born thinking the world owed us. Humans are so silly sometimes. Such fragile ego based creatures.

That was definitely my ego talking when I was annoyed someone might need something from me. Looking back I should have been grateful that someone was about to take me out of my head. Thankful to be brought back to that present moment. Instead I let my human show. Unsure if I even wanted to check the messages. There was one of the other voices in my head, the one I like, that was begging me to look at it.

“What if it is important”.

That’s all I kept hearing. So I tried something different and listened to that comforting voice and l opened the message.

It read:

“Please be the person to stop me from stepping over this ledge. I

No matter how hard I try I don’t think I will ever be enough for anyone.”

My heart sank. What do I even say? What if it's too late? We haven’t talked in so long I don’t even know what to say or how to make it better. What if I fail?

And why is everyone around me so fucking sad all time? Why is life so cruel to people? Why are people so cruel to people?

I replied:

“When I say this, I understand that I know you hear this

probably way more than anyone ever wants to hear it. Let me

Explain what I mean but this phrase though. So first, breathe.

Then do me a favor and take that step backwards because you

know you don't really want to go forward. You just want one

person to give a fuck about you. I get it. I do. Sme days seem

so long and so lonely. Even if you are surrounded by your favorite

people all day. You just don’t want to feel sad or mad or

angry anymore.

Well honey, you have to learn to love yourself to feel something else.

You haven’t always hated what you saw in the mirror. You haven’t

always hated the sound of you laugh or looked for love in the wrong

places have you? Well then if you can learn to hate everything about

yourself and your life and the people in it then you can learn to love

those same things. Without one the other could never survive. You can’t

define something without knowing the things it isn’t.

Light could not exist without the darkness but the light will

always outshine the darkness. Darkness explains everything

Light could never be and vise versa.

The bad days and the sad thoughts are all just part of this

Experience we are all sharing. The truth is we are just different

versions of the same higher being trying out every possible thing

we could become. The bad days are just lessons learned but are you

listening anymore? Or have you been so stuck inside that human

ego that you have become the bad days too? You have let them define

You instead of teach you. It’s where most of us go wrong.

We are suppose to feel feelings and unfortunately the bads ones

are just as important as the one that feel so so good. Because

Without chaos you can't understand peace. Without sorrow

and you’d never know joy. Without sadness how could

you appreciate happiness?

The problem is when you stop feeling these states of vibrations

And start believing that they are permanent states of being.

You are not sad. You are feeling sad.

Step back from that first thought because it is oh so dangerous

Place to be. When you feel the sadness you’ll understand it.

You’ll be able to send the sadness into the light and wish it

Find happiness, it's the other half. When you can learn to take

that step out of the ego and you are also learning to let go

of those feelings too. It’s really that simple to not be sad.

Crazy, I know. But stay with me because I think I might

really be on to some pretty legit ways to heal that aching

soul inside that human vessel.

I’m sure you are feeling like love will never find your heart.

Like you have been cursed to be alone. That is so silly my

dear. Love exists right inside of you. You just have to

remember who you are and why you’re here. You have

To find the love you lost within yourself first. You know

How it feel to hate everything about your life so do the

Opposite.

Love the awkwardness you create.

Love that crazy hair of yours

Love your laugh again.

Fall in love with the things you hate about yourself and

others too.

Because maybe that guys who cut you off in traffic

isn't just some douche who needs to learn to drive.

Maybe he saved your life from an accident. Or maybe

he stopped you from being at the wrong place at the

wrong time.

Like will always attract like. It's the one rule in this

Bizarre universal game we are all playing together.

So become that love you feel you’re missing.

Your happily ever after lives right inside

of you. If you can learn to hate everything

you aren’t, you can learn to love everything

you are. I promise. I hope this helps."

Send.

Why do humans refuse to suffer alone? As if life isn't already hard enough without someone else complicating it. I hope one day we all know peace. Learn to send love and not hate. That is the change this world needs. We all come from the same creator and to hurt another is the same as hurting yourself.

I know it's not my job to save anyone but myself. But I hope that if you needed to hear how wonderful you are to be reminded this life is worth another day you are reading this. I hope this little message somehow finds its way to every sad soul out there tonight. We all need help sometimes.

As for the people who I have lashed out at, I am sorry. I send vibrations of love your way and hope you overcome the darkness too one day.

I am not perfect but I am a work in progress. I forgive myself for my mistakes and I hope you do too. Everyday seems a little better than the last.

My heart aches for every soul out there struggling to see the light in the darkness. I promise it is there somewhere because darkness cannot exist without light. Nothing in this universe could exist without its polar opposite, there’d be no definition of said thing. So promise me no matter how dark it gets to always believe in the light. Because of the darkness you know light exists, keep searching.

Your Friend,

D

P.S. A special thank you to a very wonderful woman for helping me wake up and remember. You have touched my heart in so many ways. Thank you for changing my life and making me the best version of myself. B, you are my best friend, my family, my soulmate. I hope to share the rest of my days by your side changing the world. You are the one who convinced me to take that step back when I thought the world was against me. You are my safe place. My other half. Thank you for bringing the light back to my eyes. Thank you for always being yourself. You were the piece I was always missing. Thanking you for finding me again in this lifetime.