Five Steps to Loving Yourself Despite Your Own Fears

We are all afraid of something. This is natural, normal, and even healthy so long as it doesn’t control our lives. Fear is a warning sign that something might be dangerous or risky. But what do you do when you feel those fears so deeply that they threaten to bring your life to a screeching halt?When we allow fear to control us, we stop doing things that could potentially make us happy. We stop reaching out to others, trying new things, and living with purpose. Most frightening of all, we stop loving ourselves because if there’s one thing most people understand (regardless of how much they might try to pretend differently), it’s that the only person who can truly love you is yourself. That place inside you where trust and faith reside; a belief in your own abilities and self-worth.

Change Your Mindset to Change Your Life

Most of our fears are based on assumptions and expectations that come from inside our own heads. So if we want to change our lives and start loving ourselves again, we have to change our mindset first. This means accepting that most of what we fear is in our own heads. This doesn’t mean it’s not valid or real, it just means that it’s coming from us, not the outside world. It’s up to us to decide how much weight to give those fears, how much to listen to them, and how much control they should have over our lives. The fewer fears you give power and control, the happier and more successful you’ll be, regardless of the challenge you’re facing. This can be easier said than done, but with practice, anyone can do it. You just have to decide you’re worth the effort.

How to Start Loving Yourself Again

Once you’ve identified where your fear is coming from and what it’s trying to tell you, it’s time to start fighting back. This process might seem overwhelming, but you’ll find that the more you do, the easier it will become. Here are a few things you can do to start loving yourself again: - Make some changes. If you have been in the same situation for a while and it continues to scare you, change your circumstances. - Reassess your goals. If you are so busy trying to please others that you have forgotten why you started doing the things you are doing in the first place, it may be time to reassess your goals. - Find a support system. No one can do everything on their own. Even the most confident people benefit from having a support system of friends, family members, and/or professionals who understand what you are going through. - Be kind to yourself. You are not alone in this. You may be feeling the way you do because you are working through something in your past or because you are dealing with an illness or disability. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.

Examine Your Fears and What They Mean to You

Not all fears are created equal, so it helps to sit down and write out what fear is telling you. For example, if you’re afraid of rejection, you might be feeling (or your subconscious might be trying to tell you) that you don’t think you’re good enough, or you’re worried that someone will make fun of you. If you’re afraid of change, you might be worried that your life won’t turn out the way you want it to. Once you understand what each fear is really saying, you can work to overcome it and start loving yourself again.

Find the Root Cause of Your Fears

Not all fears come from the same place. Some may be due to trauma, others may be a reaction to your environment, and still others may be a reaction to your genetics. The first step in overcoming your fears is to determine their root cause. Once you know what triggered the fear, you can learn how to confront and overcome it. For example, if you were bullied in high school and now you’re terrified of public speaking, your fear might be rooted in shame and embarrassment. If you were raised in a family where emotions were repressed and you were not allowed to show emotions, you may be afraid of being seen as too emotional and being told to “get ahold of yourself.” If you have a family history of anxiety and depression, you may be more likely to suffer from these conditions because the genetic “blueprint” is there. This doesn’t mean you have to be controlled by your fears. You can confront them and learn to manage them.

Find Ways to Feel Good About Yourself Right Now

You can’t expect to change a lifetime of negative feelings overnight. That’s not how this works. Instead, try to find new, positive ways to feel good about yourself right now. Maybe you start a gratitude journal and write down one thing you’re grateful for every day. Maybe you visit a psychic and learn how to read tarot cards. Maybe you take a babysitting course, or apply for a new job. Maybe you start a blog, or find a new hobby. Whatever it is, find a way to feel good about yourself right now. Once you’ve done that, you’ll be better equipped to face your fears, and start loving yourself again.

Conclusion

The only person who can truly, fully love you is yourself. If you’re not happy with yourself, if you don’t like yourself or don’t feel good about yourself, it’s unlikely anyone else will either. So start loving yourself again and make a concerted effort to do the things that make you happy and feel good about yourself. You are worth it.