Fighting for Our Lives
Against an invisible intruder
When you go to that far-off place
That bends reality and warps time,
I'll be right here.
When the words are there,
But just won't come,
I'll help you find them.
When you drift, I'll be your tether,
Secure, grounded, and ready
To bring you home.
We are stronger than this affliction, together.
This story is part explanation, part dedication, and a very large part warning.
As it happens, my last story published was written after a month of silence on Vocal, with a note that I'd be getting back into the swing of things. Shortly after that, things went haywire in a big way and I've been “off the circuit” for another month.
As my friends here on the platform know, my wife, Pam, is my anchor. That hasn't changed, but circumstances have turned the tables somewhat, which is where the opening lines of this story come into play.
On the afternoon of the third day of last month, a stark lack of focus and some confusion on Pam's part prompted me to take her to the emergency room, against her wishes. She had a minor stroke a few years ago and it produced similar symptoms, so I wasn't about to take any chances.
I'm sure I don't have to explain the stress induced by waiting for hours in an ER unit, while your spouse is on various IV fluids and test results take forever. There were other stressors, but this isn't about that.
Suffice it to say that we finally returned home at 5AM the next day, with the following diagnoses: The “bug going around” infection was ruled out. A CT scan showed no sign of a stroke. Good news on both counts. The bad news? Her blood pressure and blood sugar were both dangerously high.
Hypertension tends to accompany spending the night in a unit like the one we were in, so that was at least somewhat expected. Hyperglycemia was an unpleasant surprise. It's something we're both acutely aware of, since Pam's mother had a long bout with it a few years ago. Diabetes does run in the family.
There wasn't a firm diagnosis of diabetes at the time, though they did administer insulin. We came home with all of the numbers in the discharge papers, a prescription, and orders to get Pam in to see our primary care provider. That appointment would be 10 days down the road, simply because our PCP, a nurse practitioner whom we both love, was overwhelmed with appointments.
After another round of lab tests, her condition was confirmed and a regimen of prescriptions was ordered. That leads to where we are today, and the promises made at the top of this piece.
Here's what I'd like readers to know: Hyperglycemia messes with thought processes. It can cause selective memory loss and often makes the patient argumentative, perhaps even combative. There were several 4AM wake-ups with her getting dressed “to go outside” and an instance while cooking breakfast together when she asked when here sisters were going to be arriving to eat with us. (The sisters live in Portland/Vancouver.)
Imagine what that all of this means for the person responsible for restricting the person's diet and monitoring blood sugar. Fortunately, Pam is very capable and willing where the testing is concerned. The dietary changes often take a lot more convincing.
There's no loss of attachment. Pam is still very affectionate and I'm incredibly grateful for that. There was one instance where she mentioned that we weren't actually married, but a quiet conversation about the wedding in our park in the redwoods got us through that. We spend our days side by side, and she's beside me as I write this, playing games on her phone. Those have become something of a grounding mechanism, although it's no fun when she decides to play until 2AM.
So, here we are, getting through it, one day at a time. We “signed up” for life and we'll both make the necessary efforts. Things are improving, but occasional memory lapses still occur. We work through them.
I want to emphasize that I'm not writing this for any credit. I'm not doing anything she wouldn't do for me if the roles were reversed.
I'm hoping that some who read this might find some insight about the possible effects of something as simple as sugar intake. I haven't even delved into the worst possible effects, like blindness and nerve damage. Please, don't ignore the signs.
I'm also hoping this might help explain why I've been AWOL on Vocal again. With some continued luck, this will be just the start of more stories. After all, we have a major move on the very near horizon and there will be much, much more to write about!
Thanks for taking the time to read, and thank you all for your inspiration!
About the Creator
Dana Crandell
Dad, Stepdad, Grandpa, Husband, lover of Nature and dogs.
Poet, Writer, Editor, Photographer, Artist and Tech/Internet nerd.
My first published poetry collection: Life, Love & Ludicrosity
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Comments (27)
You owe nobody an explanation, btw. Life has a way of happening. I hope things are on a more even keel for you soon.
Love is very hard bro
Oh my goodness, my friend! I’m so sorry to hear about Pam and all you guys are going through! I’m so glad you have answers and an action plan. I can imagine how terrifying that stretch of time was. I hope that she’s more like herself with each passing day. My heart goes out to both of you! My mom just went through something very similar—as I read this it felt like I was reading her story. Insulin resistance was talked about, but it seems we’ve traced her episode and extremely high blood pressure spike (which also happened beginning of April) to post operative delirium after receiving anesthesia with epinephrine during a tooth extraction. She has had unmanaged high BP for a while, so it was a very harsh wake up call. Lifestyle changes have also been the hardest to make, but make the biggest impact with our constantly renewing bodies. Anyway, I didn’t mean to make that about my mom’s situation, but only just want you to know that I can relate, in a way, and I see how hard it’s been on my step-dad as her caretaker. I hope that you are finding time to care for yourself! Sending loads of love, hugs, and healing vibes to you guys! 💫🩷
heartfelt article honestly. it touched me
Dana, This is the very first article I’ve read on Vocal—and what a heartfelt welcome it’s been. As a surgeon and storyteller just beginning my journey on this platform, I didn’t expect the first piece I encountered to be so quietly powerful, so human, and so real. Your writing doesn’t just share a health experience—it honors it. The love you and Pam share shines through every line, especially the opening stanzas. That poem alone could anchor an entire book on caregiving and devotion. As someone who sees patients and families navigating chronic conditions daily, I deeply appreciate how you’ve captured not only the medical nuances of hyperglycemia but the emotional, unpredictable, and often exhausting reality behind the numbers. You didn’t write this for credit—but you deserve recognition for your honesty, empathy, and perspective. Thank you for making my first day on Vocal feel less like logging in—and more like being invited into a community that understands. Wishing you and Pam strength, laughter, and many more good days (and stories) ahead. – Dr. POGASH
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Love is not easy bro.
Dana, this story touched my heart. I've got a close friend dealing with similar health stuff, and reading about Pam's memory lapses reminds me of what they go through. I wanna help them without overstepping, ya know? Your dedication to Pam is inspiring. Any tips on how to support someone with diabetes without making them feel like I'm nagging? I'd really appreciate your advice on this.
Hey Dana, I just read your piece and tbh, I had no idea hyperglycemia could mess with someone's thoughts like that. Those 4AM wake-ups you mentioned with Pam must be so tough. I'm glad she's got you by her side. Your warning about sugar intake is something I'll definitely keep in mind now. How did you first notice these patterns with Pam? It's amazing how you caught the signs.
Hi Dana, your article really resonated with me. I'm a busy professional and I've seen how stress can spike my own blood pressure, much like Pam's ER experience. I appreciate how you're standing by her through this. Your point about sugar intake is a wake-up call – I need to watch that too. Do you think stress plays a bigger role in these health issues at home versus at work? Curious about your take on balancing it all.
Hey Dana, thanks for sharing such a personal story. I've been a caregiver for my mom who also deals with diabetes, and I totally get the stress of those ER waits. The confusion high blood sugar can cause is so real. Your poem at the start really hit home – being that tether is so important. I'm curious, how do you handle the tough moments when Pam resists dietary changes? I struggle with that a lot.
Thank you so much for sharing, Dana. Wishing Pam a speedy recovery.
Very good work, congrats 😊👏
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Thank you for sharing this, sir. But, first and foremost, please send our collective love, Ruth and mine to Pam and we wish her as quick a recovery as possible. I'm glad things are not too bad...or at least manageable, even if they are stressful. She's fortunate to have you and you to have her. I did worry about the AWOL and I am aware I owe you an email. Will be working on that later. But, good to hear from you and hey - you got a fiver out of it too! Quids in? lol That was meant as a slightly silly joke and not stupidly insensitive. I did not know this about sugar intake. but I do know I am a right ratbastard when I don't get enough food lol. So, I can only imagine. Thanks again and well done again and much love again!
Thank you for sharing with us, Dana, and best wishes for Pam's recovery! You taught me a thing or two about sugar intake that I was unaware of, so I am grateful. Congrats on your top story. Be well!
Hugs! I am so sorry for this and it's beautiful you've been such a rock for your family.
Oh Dana... I'm so sorry this is the whirlwind you got caught up in!! The poem was so touching, I love the way it felt like vow renewal/ dedication to Pam!! Thank you for being such a warrior for Pam, I know she appreciates it!! Hope things are headed in the upswing and stay that way!! 💚
Hugs, Dana. As always, you're missed around here. But you take care of the Missus. We're praying for you and sending you both healing vibes.🫂
Oh my goodness, Dana! I am so sorry for the turmoil you both have experienced recently but so grateful that Pam is here and that you have each other during the difficult season of health trials. I'll be praying for you both!
Glad to know Pam is alright and that you will be 'Vocal-izing!" Please send her our regards, and know that we're here digitally, even if not physically.
Omggg, I'm so relieved to know that Pam is okay. My dad is a diabetic and sometimes has these memory lapses too. I'm happy that you both are getting through this together. Sending you both lots of love and hugs ❤️
So glad to hear that Pam is better. I'll be praying 4 you both. Take care, Dana!
Blessings, my friend, & lots & lots of prayers.
Well-wrought! Many blessings and much love to you and yours!