Feedback, or Opinion?

In plain sight, this question may seem obvious. Opinions are the beliefs of someone judging someone/something else. Feedback then is more of a response with a neutral judgment about the topic. But how does someone give feedback, without an opinion? Does feedback rely on opinions?

Say you made your family a very tasty steak dinner. Your aunt loves steak, and your brother isn’t the biggest fan. Your brother tells you that the steak could have been cooked a bit longer, and cut differently. Sure these suggestions are helpful but they came from the opinion that steak isn’t appetizing. Your aunt says that dinner was delicious and loves everything you made. This means that your aunt will not make feedback on your dinner because her opinion is positive.

The backbone of feedback is opinions. The feedback we give to others solely comes from our opinions. But feedback is supposed to be non-judgemental, and helpful, right? So, what does a non-opinionated suggestion sound like?

“Your input in today's class was very helpful for the other students”

See how this person isn’t judging what the student said and is acknowledging that they were participating. Stating clear facts is a great way to show appreciation, but not emphasize your opinions. Opinions matter, but sometimes not everyone will agree with your point of view.

What is good feedback? We know that opinions aren’t based on facts, so if we give feedback based on our non-factual opinions, negative feedback can be configured. Good feedback on the other hand is based on factual evidence and the intent of showing someone a different perspective.

This is why we can’t get angry with people who give bad feedback, or good feedback. Realizing that bad feedback has no support, is like an argumentative essay with no evidence, and good feedback is trying to give you a different outlook.

Opinions aren’t facts. Stop worrying about what people think about you. - Kylie Francis

One of my favorite inspirational speakers wrote:

Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Let them gossip about you. Their opinions aren’t your problems. You stay kind, committed to love & free in your authenticity. No matter what they do or say, don’t you doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth. Just keep shining like you always do. -Scott Stabile

How susceptible are we to opinions that we think are suggestions? What influence do others have on our own lives? If someone tells us that they think we look better in white shoes, we are going to keep wearing those white shoes, why? It is their opinion, we have to stop living by the criticism of others and start being ourselves. If no one judged you, would you be where you are today, wearing what you are wearing? How much do you live by what you enjoy instead of what others tell you to enjoy?

What I'm trying to convey is that the harsh opinions that we give off as feedback are going to shape the way other people act. They will live by our suggestions because they think we are ethical. Their life won’t be theirs anymore, we have stolen and molded minds that aren’t our own, because why? Because we are arrogant and couldn’t realize that what needed to be said wasn’t our opinion, wasn’t our judgments, but our down-to-earth support. That's what everyone wants to hear, not your criticism but your love, and your support. And until we realize that, we will keep living in a place where we look in the mirror and can’t recognize ourselves because of the scars other people have mindlessly made.