False Positive

She asked for a sign from the Universe. Bang, clang, boom. Was this it? She opened her eyes and ears to the kitchen orchestra played by her newly attained fiancé Jackson and the sweet sounds of Al Green. She knew what that meant. He only played Al when he was in a playful mood and dared his hand at the stove for a special occasion. In between Al’s riffs were the symphony of silverware clanging and dishes smashing into the sink and Jackson’s deep interlude of “shoot, darn, shoot”. “Everything ok” honey, Imani yelled out. “Shoot, I was trying to surprise you.” “It will be if we have any dishes intact after today”, Imani chuckled. Just as Jackson came through the doorway holding a tray of scrambled eggs, bacon and fruit. “What did I do for this extra special treatment, Imani proclaimed?” Jackson smoothly replied before stealing a kiss, “just because baby, just because.” Imani slowly sat up and noticed the gorgeous pink and red roses across the room on their dresser. “Are those for me?” Jackson smiled and recited, “when we delight thyself in the Lord, my love, he shall give thee the desires of your heart”, and my love you delight my heart”.

Jackson was the hopeless romantic while Imani stumbled her way in and out of unhealthy relationships and unhealthier “situation-ships”, as he called them. Imani had a history of epic tales and expensive clean ups when it came to men and she swore she was done. She was focusing on her career, when Jackson slipped in under her radar. He worked for the network, so, he was a work friend, nothing serious. From the very beginning everyone else told the tales of destiny when speaking about the couple. Imani claims, “I didn’t see it.” She never believed in love and fairytales, but Jackson did. And he made her believe.

The past few weeks, hell the past few months, life seemed not her own. The cruelty of the global pandemic seemed limitless, ruthless and found its way to their doorstep. She still had no idea who left a fat unexplained and understandingly needed check in the mailbox. Someone who knew the silent fear that lived within them both. So, many broken promises, broken connections, and broken hearts in the wave of the odorless and senseless virus, yet, within the past few days, Jackson had gotten stronger and actually was removed from the vent. He proclaimed he will not miss another minute with of their growing family.

Imani sat in the first row, with the little black book in hand. She was grateful to have something to distract her. She knew not when Jackson had purchased the notebook only that it was recent for on the cover in gold read, “And then there was three”. Damien, Jackson’s cousin closed with a joke from their childhood sending a quiet wave of laughter through the room. Imani knew that she was next, although she shrunk a few more inches. She looked down at the program, alarming her, that yes, she in fact was next, but the two-by-fours called her legs wouldn’t move. “Is this happening” she thought. How was this actually her life. She slowly looked around never once raising her gaze, in fear of catching eyes, with anyone. She rose. With trepidation she walked up on the alter and stood motionless at the podium. Head down and breathing heavy, Imani was allowing time for her brain to catch up to the current reality. Trying to gather her thoughts and composure as tears streamed down her face. A friendly voiced spoke up from the pew saying,” take your time dear”. She shut her eyes tight, took a deep breathe in and began. “Hello, my name is Imani Taylor, and I am”, she paused, fighting back the tears, and realizing, “she was Jackson’s fiancé. ” She let out a long and labored exhale. “Funny thing about time”, she continued, “Jackson and I had not enough of it.” She opened her eyes, looking out at the awesome crowd, she recognized so few faces. “Jackson was one of a kind and judging by the many unfamiliar faces I see, lets me know you too were in on his little secret. Jackson cared for people, all people, so I welcome you, sadly.” Many heads nod and sniffles ensued as Imani continued. “I will attempt to dry my tears, suspend my sorrow and anger for just long enough to make it through this. Long enough for us to remember the sweet miracle we all loved named Mr. Jackson Charles II.”

Her voice soft and fragile she uttered; “when asked about my fiancé, Jackson”, she clears her throat, trying to speak over the quiver, “that still sounds so new, my fiancé.” She cracks a tiny smile and begins again. “When asked about my fiancé Jackson, I would describe him by saying, children and dogs love him, enough said. And they, like many of you, respond with “he’s a keeper. Jackson was a keeper. He was the keeper of memories, with his uncanny ability for remembering the smallest of details. The keeper of the remote, no matter if he was watching tv or in the room, and he was the keeper of laughs and fun. From my earliest memories, he is right by my side, taking me on walks on the set or through the next scene, dutifully preparing my odd lunch requests of cheddar, lettuce and horseradish sandwiches and sneaking me Almond Joy candy bars away from the gaze of the director. She smiles at his larger-than-life picture next to her. His big smile warmed the rays of sunlight dancing over the lake, while peeking through the puffy white clouds. She turned to the photo she had taken only a few months before during a walk of theirs along the beach. This moment deceived her, for it captures the lifetime, she thought they had. Imani managed to keep going. “His sense of humor was delightful and his outlook on life, no matter what, was refreshing. Not what you would expect from a soul left all alone at such a young age. He wasn’t jaded by life - tragedy helped him to see the rainbow in the clouds not be drown by the rain. He was a lover of life. He cared so deeply for his family and the idea of us three, gave him strength to until breath no more.

Those of us who knew him, who loved him, who worshiped him when he knew exactly what the scene needed to bring it to life- we’ll miss the boy, the man he turned out to be and the father he knew only in spirit. We’ll miss the friend, who was always quick with a funny line, who was always eager for an off-road adventure, who fought with us and loved us with equal passion. We’ll miss the brother, the son, the boy who tested his limits, who brought home the trophies, who befriended and defended the neighborhood dogs and children. We’ll mourn the man who’s gone, whom we lost so quickly, but we’ll remember him, and remember that above all, he would want us to remember him as he lived, on the edge of another thriller and on the fearless edge of what else is possible. So off you go Jackson, escorted by your mom, dad and an army of angels to your heavenly father and when you smile before him, he’ll know what three you mean. Perhaps the lesson of his life that we can all take with us, is don’t hesitate to take a risk, because time waits for no one. Regret nothing and love everything, for it’s all a gift.