Falling in the Mountains

I think about that mountain more than I should. I think about you more than I should.

We had known each other our whole lives, yet we were strangers. Two celestial bodies that orbited around in an elliptical; moving back and forth; further and then closer again; until one day, we collided.

You were on my mind that summer long before that night. Then, there you were, as though the universe had heard my wish. That first night, we talked for hours.

We had both recently gotten home from long trips. You had spent six months thru-hiking the PCT, and I was living in Italy. We had never talked so much before, and I was so shocked by how easy it was.

As we talked, we found out that we would both be visiting the mountains at the same time. You were going to your family lake house; me, I was on my own. I couldn't sit still since I had returned home from Europe and had decided a road trip to the Adirondacks might curb my appetite for adventure.

“Where are you sleeping?” You asked.

“My car", I shrugged

Your next words: "You could stay with me at my family's lake house.”

“Well, that depends”, I grinned. “Do you have hot water? And I mean really hot, like burn my skin off hot.”

And so it was set, I was to meet up with you in the Adirondacks: just you and I. Four days we spent together on that mountain; four days of just talking. I never knew I could talk to another person so much and never run out of things to say.

It was a cozy little cabin on the tiniest lake. Four hours of driving and the first thing I wanted to do was stick my feet in that water. Were you surprised that I actually showed up?

That first night, I was falling asleep when suddenly you shook me awake; ”I have to show you something; let's go for a walk.”

“It's the middle of the night.” I breathed, half asleep.

“It's a better view down the street. Come on.”

We approached a park bench; you laid down on one end. “Come join”. I copied you on the other side. Above me, I saw more stars than I had ever seen in my lifetime, more stars than sky, like someone had spilled a bottle of glitter across a black canvas.

"You brought me here to show me the stars?”

“I thought you should see them since you're up here.”

You couldn't see my face, but I was smiling joyfully. It was perhaps the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for me.

Our second night, you decided you were going to cook a new recipe you wanted to try. No guy had ever cooked for me before. You were so excited to try it out and share it with me. I watched you while sipping my wine; a Ecco Domani Merlot. Since Italy, I had become a bit of a wine snob. Anything not produced in Italy was not "real" wine as far as I was concerned.

You made a simple pasta salad, but it was made for me. We grew giddy as our drinks became bottomless. More talking, more laughing. We told each other about our lives, our childhoods; the hard parts and the good. It was so easy to tell you things I had never told others. Truths were spilling out as quickly as the wine was being poured, but our dance remained. Neither one of us got closer to the other.

I spent that night in bed wondering what you would taste like. Would it be weird if I kissed you? We had known each other our whole lives. I memorized parts of your body, your feet and hands mainly. They were a little funny looking, but had strong joints; I wanted to draw them. What it would be like to hold your hand? How would it feel between my fingers? Would I like the touch of your skin, or was this relationship we were forming solely an intellectual one? Would I ruin it if I touched you?

You took me on one of your favorite hikes the third day. I had always wanted to get into hiking but could never find the time. “Off the beaten path was the best way to hike”, you said. We climbed some rocks and sat high up while we watched the other hikers below us. We ate our lunches and let the world go by. We still had halfway to go.

Some more dangerous-looking rocks to climb, but I felt safe while your hands guided my tiny legs over them. Pulling myself up, I found myself on a slate stage. Slowly, I walked towards the edge to find an audience of treetops peeking out of the green crowd. The greenwash continued until it ran blue and still, a lake. Beyond the lake were more shades of calming blues shaping out the mountains that stood in the distance. I was on the top of a mountain, my first mountain, with you.

Going down the mountain, I started running. It was our game in a way. As kids, on the fourth of July, I would always challenge you to a race. We hadn't done it in years. You quickly caught on and easily passed me. I ran harder, but it was already clear who the winner was. I began to slow down then suddenly tripped like the clutz I am. A big smile lit your face as you ran back to me and helped me up.

“I could have had you” I laughed while I whipped the dirt off my knees.

“Uh hu, I'm sure.” You swayed back and forth and got close to me, closer than we had been yet. You scrunched your face up and shook your head. I rolled my eyes and pushed you back jokingly.

That night I offered to make dinner and you were excited. “A woman cooking for me”, you grinned. “I'm shocked you know how to cook.”

"Why is that?”

“I don't know any women who can."

"Really? All my friends cook.”

"Huh.”

"Perhaps you need to broaden the number of women in your life."

“Why should I? I'm already talking to an amazing and beautiful one right now.” I looked away, pretty sure my cheeks were bright red and it wasn't from the wine I was guzzling.

“Let's go camping!”

“What? Now?“

“Yeah! I have a tent and there is this really beautiful spot up the road I want to explore.”

“And you want to sleep in a tent? With me?”

"Yeah, why not?”

“You're comfortable with that?”

“I am if you are."

"Sure, I guess.”

"Great. Get your things, it will be dark soon."

Hands full of sleeping bags, food, and of course the wine; we walked up the road and into the woods. I had never set up a tent before.

"Did you want help?”

“No, it will go quicker if I do it myself.”

It was a beautiful spot, we were surrounded by woods and right on the water. I knelt down to put my hands in the water. I loved the woods; being surrounded by them always felt like I was in a mysterious void of magic. It was full of untamed wishes and desires. The need to give in to the animal that burned beneath my skin.

Inside the tent, I got into my sleeping bag. It was the only barrier that was still holding me back. More wine, more honesty, more the need to touch you. Then suddenly, you got closer, you looked me in the eyes. “Rachael, I need to tell you something.”

I caught my breath; you leaned an inch closer; I looked away. I held back tears while you continued to talk.

“I like you. I have liked you for some time now.” I still couldn't look at you.

“I just, I just wanted you to know.” Silence fell. I couldn't say a word, because as much as I wanted to, things were more complicated than they seemed.

I remained silent, and awkwardness began to take over. You backed away and began getting into your sleeping bag. I was frozen, a tear fell down my cheek. You looked at me again.

I couldn't hold back anymore. I took your hand and ran my fingers up your arm. You froze. I moved closer. The tips of my fingers came to your cheek. Terror tugged at my heart, but the burning need fought back.

Your lips were fuller than mine; I thought they were beautiful. Slowly, I felt them with mine. I held on, and then yours began to move against mine. I pulled you closer, no longer able to control myself.

Electricity ran through my body and across my skin as you slid your hands up my back and cupped my face.

You paused, then kissed me again, fuller this time, needier. My head began to spin. I think I would have lost consciousness if I wasn't so consumed by your touch.

My skin burned, every time you touched me it felt as though fire swept across me. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop.

You held me as I laid across your lap. Silence remained, and we just stared at each other. Your fingers traced my face. Hours we remained like this, in disbelief. Never in my life have I ever felt so close to someone. Eventually, I fell asleep.

I awoke to find you reading. You looked over and smiled. This smile was different; it was full of life and love. I looked around, everything seemed brighter to me somehow; like before I was living in black and white and now I was seeing color for the first time.

You got up, “We should get going, I'm hungry, how about you?”

“Uh, Yeah.” I rolled over and began rolling my sleeping bag. You caught my arm and brushed your lips against mine. Heat flushed my face. I smiled back at you.

Our day was in slow motion, and I was supposed to leave later. I think we were in disbelief. After breakfast, we went to the water and sat there. I laid in your arms and together we watched the day go by.

“I have to leave soon.”

“I know.”

You helped me pack my car.

“Okay, I guess I should get going, it's a long drive and I have work tomorrow.” I turned to get into the car.

"Rachael!” you grabbed me and kissed me again. I got on my tippy toes and threw my arms around you. You lifted me up. I didn't want to leave. I held you so close. Then, you returned me to the ground and smiled and I can't help but smile back.

Then, quickly you got serious. “Rachael, I will be home in three days, call me, okay?” Worry and fear plagued your face; like I would disappear off the face of the planet.

I kissed you one more time and smiled. I got into my car. “I will.”

Note from the Author:

This is the second story I wrote; I hope you all liked it. This is a special one because it holds so many truths. Please, I would love any feedback. Thank you for reading.