Faded Memories

The curve of his nose, so soft and delicate, inviting me in for a kiss. Nuzzled tenderly against my head, as he kisses my temple. His eyes follow me slowly, always jumping at the chance to meet mine. Compassionate, devoted, loving, stirred, exquisitely made brilliant blue cesspools. Colors shifting like the tide laps upon the beach, stealing my attention, as the waves steal sand. The sun and the moon of my world, him. Skin wrinkles, tensing up in pleasure, happily jumping to form a smile. Cheeks turning to a deep day’s beginning. Gingerly pressing his lax pallid lips against mine. I feel complete, whole. Everything for once in this crazy world is right. Their pastel color and soothing warm sparks my soul. Long delicate locks shine without the help of the sun. The fire upon his head. My beautiful mess. Gingery and soulful. Such a sight it is, to see him.

His laugh bellows through my ears, always a different changing tone, but always music to me. Large sturdy hands, hands of a working man, yet so graceful and dainty. Strength but with the balance to hold, equilibrium. Calculating, knowing where to strike, but sweet enough to fill with much delight. Gracing my hips, holding me steady, these are the hands I will always want to hold me.

Any remotely positive word you could find to describe him would not do. It would be inconsiderate and rather rude. They would never be able to scratch the surface that is it to be him. You will never find another man so kind, so indescribably amazing in every which way. Truly a once in a lifetime soul. Blessed by God to walk this earth, only to give, to love, and to be for others. I can not begin to depict his soul. I would never be able to portray his person, for it is something you see and feel. Only those graced by his presence, only those lucky few who get the privilege to see his heart, will understand. For this is a feeling none will ever forget.

Frost tickled my nose, a soft breath in is all I’d allow, the smell of him. Tracing its way through my nose, I smiled. Safety covered me like the blanket it is, I felt home. His soft hands turned me over, relaxing me with every spark. His breath and heartbeat are my favorite songs, but alas he will never know. Every time he grins, every time he looks at me, every second I spend with, or spend thinking about him I fall deeper in love. Throwing myself into the abyss of pure bliss in which it is to be in love. Some say it is rushed, but nothing that feels this natural, this right could ever be wrong. For they do not know us, and will never truly know us.

God can be seen in everything but especially in those who allow him in. I see him in the trees, in the wake of the birds. I see him in the snow that shines brilliantly in the sun. I see him as the colors shift in the sky as the sun and moon fight for their time. I see him in the eyes of my betrothed, the special, unique, exquisite kind of unconditional love that flutters the very tips of your soul, tickles your heart. Obsession is not the word, for I am obsessed with the color of his eyes, but those who say love makes you lazy, I find in a certain situation, in the right situation love makes you anything but. It picks you up when you are down and motivates you to do better, try harder. It makes you want to be better for the one you love. Love makes you want to conquer the world, make it better for your children, it sparks an ambition, fueling it like gasoline to a match. Those who disagree have not found their one, who there meant to be with.

It’s like falling fast into a pillow of snow, so soft so crisp, so safe, yet frigid. A reawakening. Having a piece of heaven on earth. Maybe I’m the crazy one, but then again love empowers anything.

Joyous is the occasion when you are near for love flies through the air. A boy with sparkles in his eyes, such beauty in the love which is unbearable to hide. Compassionate and string, soothing and gentle, wisdom beyond his years make him all the more special. The love of my life the one I want to marry, this handsome man I would not mind to carry. The sickly sweet voice which makes me weak in my knees, eyes shine like diamonds as his hair billows in the breeze. Cheesy goofy smile from ear to ear showing his glee for all near. Captivating and extraordinary to say the least my heart is his to hold, shall never cease. Trust with no borders love with no boundaries, I'll always be his biggest supporter as he fills up my memories. My home he is and will always be, knowing that he will never leave. Nor will I stray, run away from this journey, he is my copilot even when the winds are churning.

The pictures' colors faded and one of the corners was ripped. I cannot believe this is really how I felt about him. The man I once admired and held so dear had left my heart pulverized, cheating on me with a woman he barely knew in real life. I read over these old writing time and time again yet these feelings never seem to resurface, only confusion follows. I am no longer able to comprehend how I ever felt that way about a man so disgusting, for he was not the one I thought I knew. This will be my final goodbye, and how I will let go. Share the love I used to feel so that others may learn and grow, for this, not a battle I have to face alone. For love is the most powerful thing in the world if pure, but it takes two devoted to merge.