Everybody hurts and that fine

I feel as the sun sets. As the days grow shorter, you can almost sense the “ big sad“ approaching. It seems like tons of people are experiencing heaviness in their hearts.Friends and colleagues of mine are hurting and its heartbreaking. At times its impossible to take a breath. The irony of this great beautiful world is the even though we can connect to people in seconds the loneliness and perceived non- importance of self are as big as mountains. Depression has many faces and many masters.

When our base of reality of reunite are shattered either through divorce, firing etc, There is a loss of self. I have lived through my own time of weightlessness finding my self. I am no self help guru or offer more then a helping ear. The fact is when depression hits you, the world doeesnt care. It isn’t callous or intentional, it’s just keeps moving. This state being is like being frozen in carbonite. It hurts. It’s ok to hurt. Pain is part of what makes life beautiful. One must experience pain to know the peace of joy.

I am not making the case to go and search for pain. As we lose physical light this time of year, people at losing internal lights as well.If you feel yours is dim, please reach out. YOU.. IF ever read this or it doesn’t make a ripple in your life. MATTER. One of the greatest sins that we don’t tell our friends and family how much we love and they mean to us.

If you are thinking that you won’t be missed. That’s not true. As the season of “joy” appoarches please remember its ok to be sad, its not ok to not ask for help from friends, family, services available. As beautiful as this life can be, it can be daunting, scary and hopeless. If the light is dim find something or someone who can keep it going.

The night is not a place of fear. I believe we all need sun and a circle of people who keep us going. There is much truth to misery loves company. When we are in a black hole vortex, it‘s tunnel vision and life becomes a series of unfortunate events. Take a deep breath and remember even in the deepest parts of the ocean, there is still life. Very scary nightmare fuel monsters but I digress. There are ways to progress and live even in dark times

You might be reading and say” hey assclown, easy for you to say” and you are correct. Everything is easier read then done. The hardest step is admitting that there is a pain that you cannot explain. Being vulnerable as human is tough, as a man is space level and a person of color is a unicorn.

The outside noise needs to be cut off. I know in certain circle saying therapy is like saying Candyman in the mirror 5 times. Talking about the thoughts to a therapist, partner trusted friend is essential. There are huge commonalities in what keeps us up at night. Fears depression are common between us then you would think.

The main point of this diatribe is that I don’t want to let the darkeness win. I hope this is spark to seek help. I don’t wanna to hear about more people in my circle and larger losing the fight. You are not a burden, and hopefully you can use your story to help others.

This is from a person who a point in life prayed every night that he would disappear. I know how to give smiles in the day and have the darkest thoughts at night. You are not alone. Every breath is win against the dark and I hope to hear your story in the full summer sun.

Be well my friends