Embracing the Imperfections: A Lesson from My Mother

I wondered how many times she didn’t enjoy the beach because her mind was insecurely counting her shiny stripes

Our worldview and self-perception are deeply influenced by media, personal interactions, and the comments of those around us. The perspectives of our parents, guardians, and role models shape how we see ourselves and our place in the world. These inherited views are often a reflection of their own experiences and societal expectations.

In the reel by Sharelle Grant, the content compellingly critiques the pervasive body shaming and unrealistic beauty standards of the 90s and early 2000s. The video juxtaposes nostalgic media images with modern reflections, highlighting how these past portrayals of beauty, often steeped in unrealistic and harmful ideals, contributed to widespread body insecurity and dysmorphia among women. Grant's caption underscores the insidious impact of these media messages, noting how they shaped and distorted perceptions of body image, leading to a generation grappling with self-esteem issues. The reel serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of mindful media consumption and the need to challenge and reshape beauty standards to foster healthier self-acceptance.

Yesterday, while enjoying brunch with my mother and taking in a breathtaking view, I was struck by her reflections on her 60th birthday celebrations. She shared the joy of her travels but was notably taken aback by something she observed while holidaying: young women at a cocktail bar, confidently enjoying their time without thinking about their visible cellulite. At first, I thought the conversation was to be about outfits she may have considered revealing. But it wasn’t that they were revealing long legs, the shape of their body, or sensuality. It was one minor detail that was visible, the reveal of cellulite. It wasn’t so much a critique as it was a revelation—these women were embracing their bodies in ways my mother had never felt able to.

My mother expressed how she didn’t understand how we could reveal such a vulnerable, shameful part of the human experience. And all I could feel was a deep sense of understanding for her personal trials and struggles. I wondered how many times she didn’t enjoy the beach because her mind was counting her shiny stripes that once housed three babies. I wondered if she ever considered the social and cultural differences in behaviours due to what she was exposed to.

This reaction highlighted a stark contrast to the self-consciousness of her youth, a time when imperfections were hidden or shamed. As noted in discussions about body image, such as those highlighted in the CBC article on fat-shaming in media and film, earlier portrayals often reinforced negative self-perceptions. For example, Bridget Jones's struggles with body image reflect a broader trend of fat-shaming, where cellulite and other 'imperfections' were treated as subjects of ridicule rather than normal aspects of human diversity.

Today’s media landscape, saturated with deepfakes and Photoshop, continues to perpetuate unrealistic beauty standards. Headlines that criticize celebrities for gaining weight or photoshopped images of 'ideal' bodies reinforce the notion that our worth is tied to our physical appearance. This is further explored in the study "Exploration of How Female Body Image Is Presented and Interpreted on Instagram," which discusses the impact of curated online personas and filters on self-esteem.

Yet, amidst these pressures, there is a growing movement towards body positivity and self-acceptance. A notable voice in this movement is Sarah Nicole Landry @thebirdspapaya on Instagram. She shares her journey of overcoming the shame associated with body imperfections. Initially, she felt the need to hide aspects of her body, seeing them as flaws or burdens. However, through years of self-work, she has come to accept and celebrate these changes as normal and beautiful parts of her body’s journey. Her message highlights the importance of showing up authentically and rejecting the notion that we need to hide our bodies. Her approach exemplifies how embracing our imperfections is a powerful act of self-love.

Our challenge is to navigate this media landscape thoughtfully. We have the power to let these messages influence us or to reject them. Embracing our bodies, regardless of societal pressures, is not just a personal journey; it’s a collective victory. Each step we take towards self-acceptance honours those who came before us and didn’t have the same opportunities for self-expression and freedom.

So, when I go to the beach or a cocktail bar with cellulite showing, I choose to enjoy the moments, not ponder on my personal image. And I do it not just for myself but for the generations of women who never felt the freedom to do so. And for the women who come after me. We are living in a time where we can choose to enjoy life without succumbing to outdated standards. We honour the women who paved the way by embracing our true selves and celebrating our bodies with pride.

Here’s to celebrating our bodies as they are, and continuing the legacy of self-love and acceptance that the women before us could only dream of.

References:

CBC (2023). Bridget Jones movies and fat-shaming: How the films contributed to the portrayal of body image issues. Available at: https://www.cbc.ca/news/entertainment/bridget-jones-movies-fat-shaming-1.7169214#:~:text=As%20in%20the%20books%20by,just%20got%20all%20fat%20again.%22 (Accessed: 8 September 2024).

Grant, S. (2024). Instagram Reel: Wild how we were all brainwashed and didn’t even know it. Available at: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_jIyZ5M9Th/?igsh=ZW54YzF3d255dnBz (Accessed: 8 September 2024).

Li, M. (2018). ‘Exploration of How Female Body Image Is Presented and Interpreted on Instagram’, Advances in Journalism and Communication, 06(04), pp. 95-120. DOI: 10.4236/ajc.2018.64009. Available at: https://www.scirp.org/journal/paperinformation.aspx?paperid=85695

Reporting Diversity (2021).Advertising Inequality: How Sexist Advertising Impacts Women’s Health and Wellbeing. Available at: https://www.reportingdiversity.org/advertising-inequality/#:~:text=Instead%2C%20many%20businesses%20capitalize%20on,reinforce%20rigid%20gender%20role%20expectations (Accessed: 8 September 2024).

The Bird’s Papaya (2021). Instagram Post: Embracing Body Changes. Available at: https://www.instagram.com/p/C7zqqKkvH89/

The Bird’s Papaya (2021). Instagram Post: Celebrating Body Positivity. Available at: https://www.instagram.com/p/C_lHG-NuCsD/

Women’s Health Victoria (2017). Advertising Inequality: Impacts of Sexist Advertising on Women’s Health and Wellbeing. Available at: https://whv.org.au/resources/whv-publications/advertising-inequality-impacts-sexist-advertising-women’s-health-and (Accessed: 8 September 2024).