Do Indians Prefer Love or Arranged Marriage?
Street interview
the picture hey bosses it's Marie from Asian boss can you imagine your parents or even your entire family being involved in finding your future spouse well that's the reality from many people in India where arranged marriages are still widespread but what are the perceptions of young people towards arranged marriages today and are there any potential advantages to this traditional approach we were curious to find out so Asian bus reporter hit the streets of Delhi to get some local Insight we heard that 90% of marriages that happen in India are arranged would you say that's true uh yeah I think that that would be true I know a lot of people in my friend Circle as well as uh in my relatives who have got arranged marriage this is completely true but nowadays thing has been changed now a lot of people are getting getting into love marriages the circle that I'm in mostly people go for love marriages but yes people also do prefer arranged marriages but I think that's more in the business Circle they sons or their daughters married at a very early age so you know maybe they've just finished their college or they are into college and they just get them married of do you happen to know somebody in your friend Circle who happen to do marriage which is not arranged yeah myself is a love marriage myself have a love marriage but my family are in my family all have arranged marriages and they are happily married sometime why do you think arranged marriages are so common in India because of their parents and their family and all culture about they have most probably have arranged marriages not love marriage because they think it's against the law and against the people thinking I think arrange manages are so common in India because we respect what our elders tell us and uh our ERS try to find the perfect match for us and uh they think they consider a lot of factors including what's the others lifestyle and a number of factors so I think uh that plays a major role most of our parents are not comfortable about the AR like the love marriage talk and talking about arranged marriage they were very comfortable saying that they are very sure about the person they see the family if we talk about youngster they have to take decision what the parents is thinking like because if they don't see that way if anything happen in future the blame is going to come on them head and they are fear to that they might have to leave their family they are afraid to answer most of the relatives what they're going to think about it so there are lots of happening so rather than going for that thing love marriage they go for arranged marriage so that they can be you know secured of all those questions so most of the thing parent childrens or the parents go for arranged marriage even though you are in love with some person so how do arrang marriages work in India for our Global viewers would you please like to explain them who are not familiar with it like with the stepbystep process um so like the parents would introduce their son and daughter to each other and then they'd meet probably like for the first time and then within like a couple of weeks maybe a month they'd be married so you have heard the old ad age right that in in the west two people meet they fall in love they decide to be together they get married in India their parents decide to meet and their families decide to get married so it's it's a whole lot more effort in getting four 5 8 10 15 people to like each other rather than just to we do have matchmakers or even in families we have people who are helping their you know the nieces nephews Sons or daughters or anyone you know friend Circle they might have a boy or a girl who is eligible for a marriage so that's how they you know they start interacting with their families and um they go and investigate in India that's the culture they go and investigate about the family whom their daughter or their son is getting married into take an example a cousin uh uh he's he's of marriable age now what we're doing uh for arranged marriage is we're looking for prospects across uh social media apps matchmaking apps also as well as there's offline matchmaking also so parents look for matchmaking both on these platforms so when they find a prospective uh partner considering all his uh educational background family values and everything then uh the the two people the male and the female they meet together at some point and they discuss whether uh they're interested and they would be willing to share the life and then they they can have some time to spend together it's on their parents if they want to give their uh children some time to spend together and if they think that okay then um they're married what are some of the basic criteria your parents would look for when they are looking for a compatible match the boys should ear too much yeah that's actually expected from most of the Indian parents they advertise and the advertisement comes like this Fair slim beautiful well educated partner required for uh hardworking industrious well established in see young man there are a lot of things like cast system and economy background and his family has some some assets some land land bank so their daughter will not face any problem for a guy like me uh they would definitely a see who is you know girl who is housem maker and who is not that outgoing they probably don't like the girl who who is you know be working who is uh meeting the other people out there on the daily basis so they do not prefer that so why do you think in arranged marriages uh your parents happen to look forward for a woman who is a homemaker not an outgoing person uh because I think there is still a taboo like a women if going out with on work or on something it she might engage with other people she might engage with other guys which the family don't like you know your daughter-in-law is roaming around with other people your daughter-in-law is parting like that your daughter-in-law is dressing up like that which is still a taboo in the Indian society and uh we heard that in some cases the groom and the bride first meet on the wedding day and not prior to that is that true yes that's still true in many scenarios in Delhi we are still you know upgraded but if you go to the other you know R rural side and the Village area it's still the same it's called quite funny you know you're seeing just a picture okay I'm going to marry that guy or girl who is there in the picture it used to be like that um you know that's like many many years ago they would just meet up first day on their marriage only but now times have changed no Girl Wants to Marry a boy without meeting him without knowing him and similarly no boy wants to you know marry a girl without interacting with her so times have changed now so can people say no to a match proposed by your parents or for an arranged marriage or is it just not an option well that's your choice I mean if you're willing to stand up against your parents and say no then you can't complain but some people feel like they're fced into it how do you think how would your parents react to it if you declined their I've already told them I'm not having an arranged marriage they were well it's okay I think it would be a really really tough situation for me because I'm coming from a very Orthodox family but if you see me I'm very open I'm very upfront you see most of the people are are there in depression the marriages are not working out and the major reason is that because people are not getting chance to know that person before they are you know deciding to settl in their life with that person I mean it depends a lot of times you can say no uh there are a lot of places where your opinion is respected personally in my household I can say no to an arrang marriage with my parents arrange for me but there are also some parts of India where uh you know uh arrange marriages are the only option and you can't you cannot say no uh to the family decision there are Financial social obligations for certain people now we are fortunate enough not to have that pressure on us so we could we we could we were able to take our time but for some people it's not a reality and it's an unfortunate State of Affairs like it's not that people want to do this but at some stage it's more like people have to do it so what happens is when when we talk about that uh to our parents that I want to do uh love marriage first thing that they ask what she do like what cost is she from take an example of my house my cousin sister after 4 years when they you know uh uh told their family that we want to marry each other their family denied they told her that you know we will find a boy for you okay just talk to him for like one year two year as many year as you can and just you know know each other better and then after that you can get married how do you think the perception of arranged marriages differ from urban and rural areas in India rural areas is still arranged marriage is very common I think but in urban where they have started working the girls have started most of the girls are working urban areas to I think mostly love marriage has come up ruler time we don't have much time or the girls are much more prized to get married at early ages like biver you know Rajasthan areas and all that so there are that areas where we can't fight against our parents or we can't fight against our society arrang marage in rural areas is like they have to go through there is no option for the love marriage but in urban areas if it comes so there is a mix of population both love marriage and arranged marriage we have come across certain scenarios where people want to break this taboo and go for love marriage they have been killed they have been separated so things like that happen and there is so many stories that are still not uncovered in India because this is very common you know the guy and the girl have been shot because because they were in love with each other they want to go for a love marriage or they want to do a you know different cast marriage so would you personally prefer to have an arranged marriage or love marriage love marriage why is that um I just want someone for my choice not theirs like it's not that I don't trust them but I'd rather choose I would personally prefer the love marriage thing because uh uh right now I'm not in a relationship but yeah I like a girl like I I I know her from like s years let's hope for the best yeah all the I had a arranged marriage in today's scenario I think it's better if you know the guy but in our case also arrange marriage was equally good because that time this was only common anything would work arrange your love what are the biggest advantages of arranged marriages you think you are not responsible for anything or anything happening in the future if I in a relationship and got heartbroken so I just over with the thought of Love marriage see you can blame your parents Point Blank if happens just tell you know you never my choice my parents for you know your you and me like I would never have married you and this is especially true of women she might start beating me now what did my father see in you why do arrange managers work the advantage is the expectation bar is set very low you know whatever you get you feel happy with cuz you don't know each other like if your partner turns out to to be a cook you didn't know whether they could cook or not in the first place so whatever you're getting is good so expectations are lower and the other big thing is familiarity breeds contempt so when people get to know each other intimately from a very early age I believe a lot of people lose sight of the how of the person you know how they evolve you dated somebody when you were 19 say and now both of you are 39 example 20 years are past you have evolved Who Do You Love do you love the 19y old person you fell in love with or the 39y old person you with now it's very difficult to keep track of evolution in love marriages biggest Advantage the family support in arranged marriages maximum family do support their children at any situation and anything happen with their life they will support in love marriage usually the parents doesn't support them why is that why do they not support them because in arrange marriages people people feel uh people feel and parents feel uh they are they are being cheated because they spend a lot of money on their children on education and all that things they have traditionally minded people and that's why and what do you think what are the disadvantages of the r disadvantage um I don't think so because I'm I got arranged marriage I I have no disadvantage and are you guys happily married right now yes we are happily married we have got three kids and we are happy we have three daughters it's a gamble arrang marriage is a gamble fully gambling would you please elaborate on that yeah sometime you find a very good and suitable guy all all over of your life but sometime you find out a boy like who is drinking smoking and not just like you and who don't you don't want that type of Life guy with you for a life time and you have to live with them and you have to make your family with them it's not like in Western countries that if you if it doesn't happen you just kind of go go out of the marriage and you lead your own life in India still girls uh you know try to make that marriage work because of the family pressure because of the society pressure right so I think that is one disadvantage of the range marriage that they will never move out of a you know of a marriage thinking that uh you know uh the society will start thinking negative about the family or them do you think arranged marriages lead to more stable and longlasting relationships than love marriages I have an example of my parents our parents basically I used to think it earlier but now I think even love marriages are good how did your like attitude change over the years what because General Society the change in the society what I'm see now though I'm experiencing a lot of love marriages it depends like sometime the only advantage that happens when the match which your parents is making click to each other otherwise it's not going to work out it's never going to work out or both of them decide okay we are doing for the family sake we just running this marriage for the family sake but love is something which develops with time of course when you're living with a you know dog or a cat in a one house you might not like it for the some time but when you start living with that pet you start loving it you start you know get affected it so in that case it works out but majority I see it's not working out the love marriages is the only thing with the youngster which the youth wants to go for in the end of the day I think it's a gamble it's just a chance that you take it might work and it might not uh love marriages also break and they also last forever and so is the case with arranged marriages so I don't think there's a direct relation here how do you think uh the attitude towards arrang versus love marriages have changed among younger Generations in India uh for the younger Generations like being a part of the younger generation I can say for sure that uh younger people want to find love and uh be uh married to the person that they love they are moving more towards love marriages so that they already know their partner rather than just uh you know just taking a chance or trusting their parents that they they might find the right person for me so they're taking uh the ownership themselves.
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How Many Holes Does a Human Have?
if you keep going you will eventually emerge out my other end and for this reason it has been said that the human body is like a doughnut yeah you are just a bunch of meat packed around a central Hulk or are you humans have more than one hole right I mean we've got nostrils and ears the whole sweet pea out of the holes were born from nipples our pores yes there are subatomic gaps between the molecules were made out of where don't we have holes well that is the rub literally if you cut a clove of garlic in half and then rub that fresh raw end on your foot about an hour later you will start to taste garlic in your mouth that's because the molecules that give garlic its taste are small enough and have just the right properties to permeate skin cells in your foot enter your bloodstream and reach your mouth but you are even holier than that every second day and night about 60 billion neutrinos from the Sun pass through just your thumbnail so clearly at small enough scales how many holes does a human have becomes a meaningless question ultimately the human body isn't a solid thing that can even have holes it's just a loose constellation of atoms and molecules but if we accept a minimum hole size the answer becomes pretty interesting and a good choice for this minimum is about twenty to sixty millionths of a meter about the width of a human hair a magic spaceship 60 microns wide could fly into your pores like they were giant holes like craters but it couldn't continue on through the vasculature at the other end or diffuse through cells or slip between molecules and that is significant it highlights the fact that not all holes are equal a 60 micron wide ship or string could be threaded into your mouth and come out somewhere else but it couldn't do that by entering a pore or hair follicle this makes the GI tract what engineers call a through-hole where as pores urethras nipples ears hair follicles birth canals and the sinuses are blind holes they can be entered but eventually dead end usually at narrow capillaries permeable only by things smaller than a single blood cell and the determination to not be stopped the eyeball can be squeezed under but you'll eventually be stopped by the conjunctiva the sinuses are nice big rooms and our skulls but the only way out is the same Ostia you came in through as for the ear well the ear is a blast to go inside but if you're 60 microns wide the airtight eardrum will block further passage it's a blind hole now altogether counting all of your pores and hair follicles you've got millions of blind holes all over your body but are they actually holes that's a real humdinger because you know what a hole is what what a hole really is it's a word a colloquial fuzzy imprecise lexeme that refers to a host of disparate utterly unreconciled things that eludes a single precise mathematical definition in fact holes might not even exist I mean think about it if I eat a whole doughnut have I eaten the whole like is the hole inside me or could I eat a doughnut without eating its hole could I go to a store and buy Swiss cheese but leave the holes at the store clearly holes are at best ontologically parasitic their existence depends upon the existence of something else that they can inhabit or be a disturbance in of course the philosophy of holes rarely matters in your day-to-day life you can call something a hole and context will do its work and people will know what you're talking about but take a look at this does this have a hole in it well yeah right obviously right here there's a hole I can put my hand in it it can store things it's got a hole but now imagine that I could mold it like it was made out of clay and I molded it down into the shape of a drinking glass you could see how that could happen right well does a drinking glass have a hole in it if this does then this should - right I mean I didn't pinch the hole shut or glue anything together all right sure fine I mean I can accept that a drinking glass technically has a hole in it but now imagine that I took this glass and I molded it out and I widened its opening until I had a shape like this a bowl now does a bowl have a hole in it now we're really stretching the use of the word hole I mean if someone said their ball had a hole in it I would think that it had a hole somewhere else and it was leaking but sure let's call this a hole it's not a very prototypical one but I think you see where I'm going with this if I didn't molded the bowl and flattened its sides all the way out until I had a plate a shape like this well does a plate have a hole in it not really so if a plate doesn't have a hole in it but this shape did and I continuously molded from here to the glass to the bowl to the plate and I never glued anything shut where'd the hole go clearly blind holes are pretty unique they can be removed without closing or pinching anything shut compare that to the through hole of a doughnut there is no way to remove a Donuts through hole or add a new through hole without gluing stuff together squishing things together that used to not be together or ripping pieces apart poking a hole through and breaking it that is extremely significant but let's go back to the body before we get ahead of ourselves the mouth is an entrance to both blind and through holes a 60 micron wide traveler could enter it meander down the esophagus and keep going until they were well dumped out but turn down the trachea and they would dead end in the lungs now the area of the throat behind the mouth is called the pharynx it's a pretty chill place except not really it's actually quite warm it plays a role in warming and moistening and filtering the air that we breathe before it enters the lungs including the air we inhale through our nostrils now each nostril leads into a separate nasal vestibule that's the tunnel that you can explore when you pick your nose eventually those tunnels meet and sniffed air enters the nasal cavity a hollow air filled room in your face protruding from the walls of the nasal cavity are mucusy fins called the nasal Concha or turbinates that warm and moist in the air that passes around them from there the air flows via the pharynx down the trachea so your nostrils and your mouth are connected a string could go into your mouth or nose and come out your butt the nasal cavity is quite the hub I mean your ear holes would almost lead into it but the eardrum blocks the way if it didn't there would be clear passage from the outside into the middle ear and then down the eustachian tube into the nasal cavity via an opening about here the eustachian tube controls air pressure in the middle ear behind the eardrum and is normally collapsed shut but if the outside pressure is dramatically different than the air pressure in the middle ear swallowing and yawning can get it open equalizing the pressure that's what happens when you pop your ears it's cool but it's not a through-hole and that's what we're looking for and as it turns out there are four more four more orifices that lead from the outside into this place your nasal cavity and they are the lacrimal punctum there is one near each of your eyelids they're tiny openings about a third of a millimeter wide into which tears the fluid constantly moistening and protecting your eyeball drain once inside the lacrimal punctum ASA lacrimal ducts tear ducts into your nasal cavity which is why when you're making a lot of tear fluid and have to blow your nose that's not snot that's mainly tears the point is a 60 micron wide string could be pushed into any of your four lacrimal punctum threaded through your tear ducts into your nasal cavity into the pharynx and then pushed all the way out your butt pretty cool that gives us eight external openings that don't dead-end but how many through holes is that I mean how many holes does a straw have this clearly has two holes but how many does this have is it one hole that Forks is it two that combined gosh maybe it's three well what about this how many holes does this thing have or this topology can help us answer every single one of those questions here I have two essentially identical pieces of material [Music] now they are no longer identical or are they geometrically sure their shapes are now different but what didn't change about them well that is what topology studies topology is concerned with the properties that persist so long as something isn't ripped apart the famous joke that a topologist doesn't know the difference between a doughnut and a coffee cup is based on the fact that a coffee cup can be gently continuously molded into a doughnut by simply stretching and squashing no cutting gluing ripping or sewing required topologists call these gentle continuous transformations homeomorphisms and the cutting and ripping and gluing that they disallow are exactly the kinds of actions required to make new holes or remove old ones so since a coffee cup and a doughnut are homeomorphic they must have the same number of through holes and they do one we can now more precisely describe the difference we saw earlier between blind holes and through holes and understand why we are separately counting them now blind holes can be erased through a homeomorphism as such topologists don't even really consider them they're just geometric disturbances topological holes on the other hand cannot be massage it away and unlike a blind hole where what qualifies and what doesn't is a matter of opinion the number of through holes a surface like your body and three dimensions has can be clearly defined if we are having a hard time counting through holes all we need to do is find something with an easy to count arrangement of through holes that it is homeomorphic with but first let's play around with some topological puzzles here is a to hold donut with an infinitely long unbreakable unmovable rod through one of its holes without cutting or separating any part of the shape can you figure out how to manipulate it such that the rod goes through both holes pause the video if you want to think about it remember this shape it looks like it might have three holes right it's got a hole there a second hole there and a third hole here but if I flatten it you can see that it only has two holes it has one there and one there if the rod is threaded through the shape such that one wire is in front and I choose one of the other wires to be the middle of the doughnut for example this one then the rod passes through just one of the two holes but if I choose the wire in the front to be the middle of the donut well then the rod is seen to be passing through two holes likewise if you continuously deform our original to hold donut into the three tube thing and pick this tube to be the new middle tada the rod is now going through two holes no cutting or gluing required one more puzzle without cutting or breaking can you unlock this shapes intertwined loops well pause if you want to figure it out yourself here's a solution simply inflate the bulb of the shape until you can skate a leg of each loop around until they're untangled and tada freedom alright let's define homeomorphism a little better we said it was a rubber sheet or clay like molding procedure with no cutting or breaking or gluing and that's a good introduction but honestly you can cut all you want during a homeomorphism so long as you glue everything back together the way it was in the end more precisely a homeomorphism is a bijective and by continuous function it's a function because it is a list of ordered pairs where each point starts is paired with where it goes requiring that it be a by jek ssin means that it must be a special kind of function where there is a one-to-one correspondence between points in one object and in the other no two points can map to the same location and no point can get magically turned into multiple new points basically material cannot be added or subtracted by continuous means that any cuts made must be later mended perfectly with points going back amongst the same neighboring points they had before in a homeomorphism if parts are scooched over everything else must flow with the scootch as if all the points are kind of sticky there is no smooth sliding along abrupt fissures the precise test for whether a function is by continuous is pretty cool now first I consider a point in one arrangement now where the function takes that point is its image okay now I choose some neighborhood around the image with a radius larger than zero and I consider all of the points within it if the function is continuous in this direction I should be able to find a neighborhood around the preimage the input point that only contains points that map inside the images neighborhood in this case I can but in this case we've got an original point and where it went but given a neighborhood around where it went every neighborhood around the original no matter how small will always contain some stuff that didn't make it over which means points got separated but not put back so the function is not continuous by continuity means that a function must be continuous in both directions okay now that we can homey amorphous let's start using it to count holes remember this shape it wasn't immediately obvious earlier how to count its holes but it is easy if we can use a homeomorphism to turn it into something with an easy to count number of holes which we can both of these shapes are homeomorphic they both have two holes to see why simply drag in mold and flow the opening of one of these shapes holes into the tunnel of the other and there we go since we didn't cut or glue the number of holes hasn't changed so this thing just like this thing always had two holes okay what about a straw well short informally it can often make sense depending on the context to differentiate between two openings in a straw the one you put in your drink and the one you put in your mouth but that does not mean it has two holes it only has one a straw is homeomorphic to a torus both openings are part of the same single hole but this process is a homeomorphism and thus does not create any new holes you can also see that openings aren't holes by stretching one of the straws openings until it becomes the outer part of a doughnut there really was only ever just one hole but enough about straws let's get back to the body we found eight external openings orifices interconnected by tunnels but openings aren't holes they're parts of holes and we can count those holes as it turns out at a scale of 60 microns the human body has seven through holes the human body is not a doughnut it is a seven hold doughnut this shape can be molded and stretched into you first we choose a hole to be the GI tract the mouth anus tunnel now into this we roll half of the other orifices okay now we've got something that looks pretty dang human seven holes with eight external orifices that meet in a common space the nasal cavity if we squish all the matter in towards the tunnels will notice that our seven hold torus is topologically equivalent to four pairs of pants sewn together at the waists your body isn't a doughnut it's a bodysuit for a spider okay now to finish let's make two of the legs the nostrils and four of them the tear ducts one the mouth and inflate the material into the form of a head now let's inflate the boundary of the final tube into the shape of a body with its opening in the rear and we've done it [Music] the human body is a seven hold doughnut or is it for every piercing you have that's one more hole in your body well two more if the piercing goes through a through hole like I don't know if you had a thin piercing into your face that went through a tear duct and came back out or if something like a bullet pierced into your chest through your esophagus and came out the other side that would mathematically count as two new holes and there's more some people have supernumerary lacrimal punctum on their eyes each additional punctum they have over four total adds an additional hole to the standard seven and remember the sinuses and the Ostia connecting them into the nasal cavity well they're just blind holes depressions but as many as half of us may have at least one accessory ostium an extra hole connecting a sinus to the nasal cavity well now we're talking about a through hole you can enter one opening and exit via another now these may not be external orifices but for every accessory Ostia you have that's another topological hole you need to add to your bodies total the thing is though most of us have no idea how many accessory Ostia we have unless you've had serious sinus problems or have had extensive scans of your nasal region that have been studied from multiple angles so to answer this videos question the human body has millions of blind holes like at least five million and at Birth seven through holes it would be better if there was a clear answer that applied to all of us for our entire lives or if finding out how many you had right now was easier but you'll have to speelunk in your sinuses to know for sure and that's beautiful isn't it we can rigorously define the properties of holes in all sorts of dimensions and we can study that temperatures at the bottom of craters on Pluto but few of us will ever truly know the whole truth of our own bodies
By Riya singh10 months ago in Humans
Anthropology of the Group Chat: The Unspoken Rules That Govern Our Digital Tribes.
Group chats are everywhere. From WhatsApp and Telegram to Slack and Discord, digital communication has created new social spaces where friendships, work relationships, and communities thrive. On the surface, group chats might seem casual or trivial, but if you look closely, they reveal complex social structures and unspoken rules that govern human behavior. Understanding these patterns is the key to thriving in our modern “digital tribes.”
By Wilson Igbasi8 days ago in Humans
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