Dear Sunshine

This is a letter written by my wife Susan Payton to her son, my step son Richard L Jacobs Jr. Address: Heaven Bound

Dear Sunshine

I want to thank you for all the memories I will be taking with me out of this world. You taught me so many things, I can't begin to mention them all.

They say Thanksgiving is a time of reflection of what you have to be thankful for. So I would have to have several computers and lots of megabytes to list them all.

I first want to thank God for letting me have you for forty-four short years. I say short, because it just wasn't long enough.

I would like to thank you for coming into this world, and making me a mother. You were a joy, my joy and I have considered it a privalege to be your mother. I know that most people say that about their children, however, in your case, God blessed me with the most incredible individual to bring in this world, and be a part of your life for forty-four years.

I would like to thank you for all the things you taught me, including grace. You taught me how to give, you taught me how to love, and you taught me how to care about your well being, more than my own.

You were an exceptional child and you showed your empathy even at four years old. When your father was stationed in Arizona in the Air Force, you quickly got away from me in the housing we lived in. Panicked, I found you at a neighbors house. She had a little boy that was in a wheel chair, and you were throwing a ball to him.

I first told you, how you scared Mommy, and then you replied to me, "Nobody want to play with Johnny, because his legs don't work, but he is a lot of fun, and I don't mind chasing the ball for him." His mother stood close by, and told me, "Your son will be an exceptional young man, he has such empathy. She turned out to be right.

I want to thank you for taking care of your little brother. Robby, always looked up to you, you were a hard act to follow. You always tried the best you could, and that was difficult for a little brother to follow. You saved his life twice, and he remembers those times, and he looked up to you until the day that you left this world.

Thank you for helping me all those years after your father left our family. You were my support and my ally, my motivation and my VERY BEST FRIEND!! I wonder if people have questioned how your child could be your very best friend, and if they did, they never had you as their son.

I want to thank you for making every holiday, even after you were grown up, special. You always helped me cook, clean up, and you always showed me the art of decorating for holidays.

I want to thank you for literally saving my life, those years when it was just you, your brother and I. I was so proud of you, and perhaps I depended on you too much. However, you were the glue that held me together, you were my inspiration, my grace and my courage and strength throughout many of those years.

I also want to thank you for putting me first, when I married your step-father. You didn't have to sacrifice yourself by going into the Army, son, but you did and you found yourself in the middle of Desert Storm.

I want to thank you for your niece and nephew Anthony and Lexi, for whom you showed incredible love and devotion. You were the best baby sitter ever.

I want to thank you for you step-daughter Riley, (the closest you ever came to having a child of your own). I want you to know that I know why you were in that awful park that night you lost your life. It was part of your plan to get visitation of that little girl, that stole your heart. I wonder if she will ever know how much you loved her, or why you lost your life, trying to gain access to see her. You died two days before her sixth birthday.

There is so much, I have to be grateful to you for, but you never ever stopped giving. While out on the streets of Delaware looking for your killer, people told me stores of how you helped them out, how you helped other people. You left quite a legacy behind you, the lady in Arizona was right, you became such an incredible young man.

Even on your last day of life, you gave to me an early birthday gift. You were working long hours at the restuarant, and you had very little sleep, however you were in Ricky mode, the way you always were. You went to Air Base Carpet and got me an oriental rug for my birthday that very day, you lost your life. My birthday, is April 13, you were murdered on March 27. It was so like you to think of others first before you thought of yourself. I still have that rug, in my bedroom, I cringe whenever your step father walks on it. I want to keep it the same way, you gave it to me.

In closing, I want to thank you son, for just being you. The most incredible young man that was most likely put on this earth.

Thank you for loving me, and thank you for allowing me to love you.

I must say the world thanks you, my son, for the world was a better place because you were in it, , even though you left way too soon.

Thank you for everything, and thank you for just being you.

All My Love Sent To Heaven

Mom