Dear Stranger,

You saw me on the street. Randomly, as it seemed. You liked my smile. You said hi. You think I'm nice. I make you curious. There is just something about me that you can’t quite grasp. Yet, you think. But I know you. I know your kind. In fact you're making it way too easy for me. You have been waiting here for me all along. This is not by accident. There are no accidents evidentially. Everything happens for a reason. And you have just entered a world you hadn’t seen before. I'd like to give you a name, but you are just a stranger after all. Meet me. Enjoy the ride.

Here is what's going to happen. You going to fall in love with me. You want me. Badly. You would do anything for me. And that's exactly why you're here. I will get just close enough to you to keep you close enough to me. But I will keep my distance. And you will want me even more. I will let you hanging on a long leash and all you want is to come closer. I chose you because you are useful to me. And I will use you until you won't be of any use anymore. And I will let you fall. I will put you just in the right spot that I need you to be to get the most out of you. And you will always want to come back for more.

The version you see of me is the version you want to see. And I'm playing along with it. I know what you want. I know your thrill. I know the pain you feel. And I'm feeding off it.

You will never find the truth that is hiding behind this pretty face. This magical something that I have in your eyes is what you have been craving for for so long. And finally, here I am. What you don't know is, that you have just entered the arena and I'm making the rules. I do what you like. I seem perfect. I am the perfect girl. I'm not needy. I am uncomplicated. I don't judge you. I don't want explanations. I am the mysterious girl that you can't seem to completely figure out. And that's what keeps you going. Craving. Longing. I have already taken advantage of you but all you can think of is how to not lose me.

I can't lie to you so I tell you the truth you wanna hear. I make you feel for me. Sometimes I believe myself and get lost in my role that I don't even know my real truth anymore. You are my hide out from myself. I use your reality to step out of mine. As a trade off, for a moment of time, I play the role you want me to be. You have already fallen for me.

I'm not a bad person. I'm just who I am. And I'm great with your friends. Your parents love me. What more could you want. I'm special.

What you don't know is, I don't love you. I don't care about your friends. Your parents are just an easy game for me. But I never even considered you. You are just good enough to give me what I need. You are simply serving me for the time being. You are a convenience for me. You wanted this, remember?

Now I don't need you anymore. I turn quiet. You don't know why. You hold on to me because it is too painful to let me go. Remember, I can't lie to you. So I am telling you the truth you need to hear. I ease your pain before I go. Because I can't do this, it is too painful, not fair to the both of us. You know what hurt feels like. I need time for myself. You appreciate my honesty. You try and give me space. But I have already walked out of the door. All you want is for me to be happy because you can't help it but love me so much.

The tears in my eyes when I leave you will give you the little bit of peace you need to let this wonderful girl that had just turned your life upside down go. You are welcome, stranger. How lucky you are to have met me.

I'm not a bad person. I'm just who I am. And this is what I do.

I am drying my tears as I walk around the corner. I see you. I smile. You like my smile. You say hi. Who is this mysterious girl you just met? You think I'm nice. Hello stranger... This is whats going to happen… Are you ready for this?

And you are all in. Welcome and enjoy the ride. You have successfully entered the world of me. I am not giving you a name, after all, all you are is a stranger. But you are different. You confuse me. You are so in and out. There is just something about you that I can't seem to figure out, yet. Wait a second. Who are you? Are you playing a game? My game? In a weirdly ground smashing yet fascinating way I appreciate the way you play. You are just like me. Looking into your eyes is a painful truth. Yet so addictive. You beat me with my own weapons. You are 3 steps ahead of me at all time. My every move is being out taken by your next one. I never know where I am at with you. Yet, I love you. I love you so much that I would do anything for you. You are great with my friends. My parents love you. You are perfect.

You hold me just close enough yet you are so distanced. You pull me in whenever you need me and push me away when you don’t. You use me. My biggest fear is losing you.

But you don’t push me away because you don’t need me anymore. You push me away because you are scared. Scared of intimacy. Scared of commitment. Scared of losing both me and your freedom. You are hurt. You are hurt so much that you sabotage yourself and would rather run away then face the fact. You love me. And I know. Because I am just like you. I get you, because I do what you do. I respect you because I know your pain. I can’t be without you anymore. You want me so badly that you don’t want to want me. You are strange. But you are no stranger. I give you a name. You can’t be a day without me. And there is something that tells me that you are just so right. I don’t need my space. I can do this. I can ease your pain. If you just let me. But you are already out the door.

With tears in your eyes as you walk away. I know you don't want to go. It eases the pain.

You are not a bad person. You are just who you are. You just do what you do.

I am grateful to have met you. I learned my lesson. I am starting to heal.