Dear Lover,

We were both so young, so innocent, so untouched by the world around us. Our lives and our identities were purely ours. We knew separately before we knew together but we knew.

We didn't rush. We had time. We just enjoyed each other. We took those long drives in your car. My hair whipped around in the wind and so did yours. We swam, we fished, we worked and we talked long into the night. This time was ours. I remember those nights leaning my head against your knee while you leaned our head against mine while we talked about anything. it was so damned hard for me to pay close attention to what you were saying. I was so lost in those beautiful eyes. I couldn't help getting transported to our own little world.

Lover, we were just way to different to be together yet we were so similar that there was no way to keep us apart. I knew with every breath I took that our hearts were recognizing each other from another lifetime.

Lover, there were no horrible days in my life when you were in it. Yes, there were difficult times but the minute I heard your voice any cares just went, POOF.. into the atmosphere. The crooked smile over perfect teeth. The hug you knew I needed just by looking into my face. I wish I could feel that hug now. I hope someone is.

Lover, you were my bestfriend. You were the light of my life for that time. We didn't need to always speak. We just felt. We knew the thoughts, the wants, the needs. Yet, we knew more than that, didn't we?

When did you know that we were special. I had heard whispers from others that they thought we were a couple but we weren't. We were friends. weren't we? You were always way ahead of me. I never even knew when you were flirting with me. I always just knew you were a great person and you wanted to be part of my life. That's all I needed to be happy. At least, that's what I told myself.

We would go out dancing with our friends but we were in our own world. We danced the night away. The two of us twirling, dipping, swaying. Our laughter was as much a part of the music. Our feet were part of the floor. Our bodies touched each time another happy dancer bumped me. If I could have thanked that dancer I would have but I was leaning into you, nothing could interrupt that. I was drunk on the smell of your sweat mixed with your cologne. What word goes beyond exquisite? That word is the only one that described my joy. I knew you felt it too! Those were the moments that I was glad to be alive. I had never seen a glow like that on a man's face before.

When our first slow dance had been give to us as a gift we opened it slowly. It seemed as if my body knew we would meet some day and that I wasn't meant to be taller than I am so that your head could so easily rest on mine. I felt your lips tentatively brush my hair and shock waves went to a place that had never felt them before. We just let our bodies do as they wished. My arms wrapped around your waist, your arms around mine.. The slow songs never ended for us that night we just held each other and let that special time continue as long as it could.

Oh, My Dear Lover, that one night changed everything, from that day forward we were more than friends The first time you drew me onto your lap I knew it had been made for me.

Do you remember how we shared a couch that night? We cuddled, just cuddled. We were both exhausted yet neither wanted to sleep but sleep had it's way. One kiss on the cheek and I was done. I woke up to your snoring but I didn't care. I was with you. You, my Lover. You.

Lover, we were being so careful not to move to fast. We hadn't even had our first kiss but we both wanted it, didn't we. We played this game. We kept our eyes closed. Cheeks brushing cheeks, holding hands. The anticipation was heavenly torture that only the young can create. We slowly moved toward that moment that would further change who we were.

Lover, your lips were pillow soft, not that memory foam crap that's around now but soft like goose down. I knew I wanted them again and again. I had been kissed before but I had no idea that the kiss of someone I loved would feel like the best chocolate on Earth. You wiped away the tears that had started to flow down my cheeks from a place I didn't understand. You gave me the biggest and whispered, " it's okay babe. It's real."

We just continued to kiss and hug for what seemed like hours. Our friends were asleep in the next room so going further wasn't even an option but if it had been we wouldn't have. There was no rush. The fact that our lives would be far apart after that summer was over meant nothing. I mean, sure I cried when you left and so did you but we knew we were still, " Us" Distance wasn't going to change that, at least not right away.

You came to se me when you could and we shared each other as much as possible for two days at a time.

You polished my nails and let me polish yours. You found your favorite gloss in my purse and applied it to my lips, then I put some on yours. We laughed so hard your Mom thought we were going crazy.

Love, you left no messages unanswered. I left no phone calls unreturned. No questions were avoided. The trust was explicit.

Lover, it's been years but do you remember our secret places. The shore, the darkness, creeks, driveways, festivals. All ours, made just for us. One minute, one hour, they were ours with always those moments to be lost in each other's eyes again.

Lover, I never meant to hurt you. It was the wrong word placed in a letter full of love but for some reason that mistake hurt you so much that you couldn't get over it. You were so hurt. There was nothing I could say to make it better. You were to far away to see the sadness in my eyes. You were too far away for me to touch you. I couldn't do anything to unbreak your heart, but there was a viper whispering in your ears. A mean spirited, jealous viper. A wolf in sheep's clothing. This viper had spent time with me when he came home on leave. He was a married man but separated from his wife. I spent time with him because he was your friend. He decided that he wanted me to himself so he did what he could to poison the waters that was once filled with the perfume of our love.

Love, I would have never thought that this could have happened to us. I walked around in a nightmare for months. I went about my days as I was supposed to but it was as if I was just watching myself. I was floating along with my body and mechanically doing what I was supposed to be doing. I cried for you so much that each time I thought I would die of grief. Did you shed even one tear for me or had the viper made you hate me? Is this what the find line between love and hate was?

When we met again everything had changed. You wanted nothing to do with me. You pushed me away. Your eyes were hard and your face was blank. Our hearts no longer knew each other. This couldn't be because of one mistake in a letter. You were never that unfair. This was the work of jealousy. I would have never gone out with a married man and I certainly had no respect for someone who was so important to himself that he betrayed both of us. You didn't speak to me again for quite some time.

When you decided you wanted to play nice again. I was happy but also confused. What had changed now? Well, this wasn't going to be your decision. You hurt me Love and you didn't seem to care about the pain I was in. I couldn't forgive that completely. No matter. You had others who wanted you and I had others that wanted me. Our lives had taken flight off their own runways never to fly side by side again.

Love, The thing I really want you to know is t hat even though we weren't meant to be together forever, at the end of the day you were the only Lover I have ever had who's smile will be a snapshot in my mind forever. Your beautiful eyes, that sparkle was never replicated.

I'm so happy for you that you found the love of your life. I'm so happy that you found the love of your life. The job you love. I'm excited for you that you have children in your life who love you to death.

Love, my friend, you deserve all the greatest things in life. I have always wished this for you.

I was the Bachelorette for a short time and you accepted my only rose. I loved you for as long as we were meant to be together. Thank you for being That Bachelor. You made my life worth living for a time and I won't ever forget that either.

Peace my friend, Forever Peace.