Dealing with Me

We have all heard the saying “I love hard, but I am hard to love”, but do we actually know what it means? How it feels? Is it real? Or do we make it real? How do we fix it? What if there’s something wrong with us? These are all questions that go through my already jumbled up thoughts. Here’s my take!

Being hard to love has become somewhat, fantasized. Girls somehow believe that if you are DIFFICULT, you are treated...better. What? I know, makes no sense. 🤷🏼‍♀️ As delusional, and stupid, as it sounds, this has really became a trend. I wish I knew that the very thing I have been struggling with for years would someday become the “in thing”. 🤔 I might have been a little less hard on myself. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Sometimes people, like me, are really just hard to love. Either it’s because of bruising from past relationships, or something that happened in their childhood, or trusting untrustworthy people, or it’s simply because they were never showed the proper way to BE LOVED. We are all told to watch how our daddy treats our momma or vice versa, but how many times have you been told to watch how your mom is LOVED by you dad, how it makes her feel, how it makes her skin glow. Or in “toxic” or “bad” situations, watch the same things, what it does to their appetite, their attitude, how it makes them angry, or hurt, and cry. Sometimes the very reason people are “hard to love” is because they don’t know how to handle it, and it might just take time, and patience.

Now fixing the problem is easier said then done, but it can be accomplished! If you find yourself being hard to love, and pushing people away, there’s hope! I promise! Here’s a few steps that helped me!

Step 1: STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE! Go on that date! Hold hands with your crush! Move in with your boyfriend of years! Sometimes the leap of faith, is the best, so is the unexpected!

Step 2: BE OPEN ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL! It is okay to ask someone if you feel like you are being difficult, or is it just your anxiety acting up. Sometimes while you think you’re a problem, you’re really not a problem at all!

And my final step,

Step 3: DON’T SETTLE! Don’t let your fear of being hard to love let you settle. Sometimes we get stuck, because we find someone that is hard to love just like us, and it’s “easy”. It’s okay to build with someone, but don’t do it because it’s “easier”!

We got this guys. We will not lose, we will not give up! It takes baby steps, but the end results are worth it. You are with it!