Cycling Through Love

The cloudless sky filled the lounge with blinding sunlight. “Can we get some curtains down in here?!” Naomi’s impatience was clear as she pushed through a cluster of cameramen. A PA scurried past her to jerk down the window shades. “Take it from the top.” Naomi had moved to a folding chair facing away from the light.

Trisha C cleared her throat “Tina, you had me at merlot.” She grinned at Tina, languishing on the opposing couch as the cameras spun to capture her reaction. Tina smiled demurely and batted her eyelashes.

“Tina, you finally get a one on one!” Christie H. squealed, hugging Tina’s shoulder.

Tina repositioned herself on the couch and gazed dreamily at Trisha C “Well lucky me.” She fluttered her eyelashes again for good measure, while ignoring Alicia’s scowl as it bore into the back of her head. She glanced over at Kayla, whose head was bent low so that the cameras wouldn’t pick up on the tears now leaking from under her glasses. Tina felt a pang of pity for Kayla, who besides regularly being the butt of Alicia’s jokes, seemed to be truly smitten with Roger.

Tina, like many of the other contestants on Eternity, was less in the market for true love and more interested in promoting her personal brand. The harsh truth of the show was that few people were looking for that “genuine connection” touted by the producers every season. Most contestants were only on the show to gain Instagram followers or to win the $100,000 prize if they were chosen to marry Eternity’s lead. Of course, the lead won regardless as their accommodation, airfare, food, and evening wear were all covered by the show. The lead always took home half of the prize money, which was theoretically meant to be used by the couple for an elaborate wedding or their dream house. Roughly half of the time the couple would split up straight after the show had finished filming. Roger, the current lead, was the second runner up on Eternity’s sixteenth season. He had been a fan favourite to win but hadn’t made as much of an impact on the season’s lead, Jessica, as bad boy Conrad. However, Jessica and Conrad had split up a month after their season aired following a dramatic on camera screaming match. Roger had been interviewed during the bombshell reunion show, and Jessica had shown great interest in rekindling their relationship. His response “I’d rather be your best choice, than your second choice” had been plastered all over tshirts, mugs, and promo shots for the new season. Roger had been the easy choice for Eternity’s next season.

Tina sidled upstairs, the heels of her espadrilles slapping against each stair as she climbed. She had the next two hours to prepare for her date with Roger. Contestants were responsible for all their own hair and make up, but Tina had formed a close bond with Christie H. - a make up artist from Cincinnati. Tina had cozied up to Christie solely because she was a wizard with a powder brush. Tina’s shorts had barely brushed her vanity stool before Christie’s stomps echoed up the stairs.

“I’m so excited for you! I still can’t believe that this is your first one on one date with him! What do you think that you’ll be doing?? Do you think that you’re doing a wine tour? That would be a safe choice. Not like skydiving or anything crazy!” Christie’s bubbly chatter made it easy for Tina to avoid answering any of her questions. “Yeah, I bet it’s a wine tour. And then you’ll go on a dinner date to some little Italian café. Ah, it’s going to be so romantic!” Christie pulled Tina’s hair into a low ponytail as she spoke, sequestering it behind a headband as she began the arduous process of priming, correcting, and contouring Tina’s face.

Tina closed her eyes. “I guess that I’ll just have to wait and see.” She was secretly glad that her first real date with Roger had waited until Italy. It was now far less likely that she would be forced to prove her commitment through a “Let’s Fall in Love” date that would involve something obscene like bungee jumping while naked. The casting director had made note of Tina’s phobia of heights, but the grin on her face had made Tina uneasy. At least she wouldn’t be humiliated on this date. Time slowed as Christie’s brushes slid across Tina’s cheeks, occasionally telling her to close her eyes, or more often asking “How do you blink this often??” At last she shouted “Voila!” and Tina opened her eyes to gaze at her reflection, drinking in the new angles of her cheekbones, her sultry smoky eyes. She grinned at herself and raised a hand to blow a kiss to the mirror. “All ready” she declared.

The car pulled up the empty gravel street and parked beside an impressive stone wall. A lone tandem bicycle leaned against the wall, two helmets hanging off the handlebars. “Uh oh..” Tina’s heart leapt into her throat as she took in the scene. The helmets, one pink, one blue, were clearly meant for her imminent date with Roger, which was to say the very least, a problem. Tina’s interesting fact during her casting interview had been that she had never learned to ride a bicycle.

“Walk over behind that shed so that we can get footage of you running to greet Roger.” Naomi stepped out of the passenger side of the car; her sunglasses pulled down to shield her eyes. She gestured back down the road towards a crumbling shack at the end of a driveway.

“Is he here?” Tina squinted up the driveway, searching for Roger’s trademark Cubs cap.

“It should only be a couple of minutes.” Naomi flashed Tina a short, tight smile before turning towards the nearest cameraman.

Tina sighed and began the muggy walk down the road towards the shed. She had been so excited for her date, but the day had soured considerably with the bike reveal. She slid into the space between the shed and road, hidden in the shed’s long shadow. At least she could regain her composure out of the sun’s glare. A shout rang out from one of the crew to indicate that Roger had appeared.

“Tina! Come on out!” Dan, the main cameraman, shouted from the main drive.

Tina slapped a smile across her lips and slid into a light jog as she rounded the shed and headed straight for Roger’s open arms. “Hiiii!” she trilled, leaping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist. She tilted her face up for a kiss, bumping her forehead into the brim of his baseball cap and sending flying into the gravel. “Whoops.” Tina whispered against his lips. She hopped down to retrieve the cap, but Roger beat her to it, beating it against his leg to dislodge the dust.

“Clearly we need to work on our technique. “he said with a wink.

“That’s the best kind of work.” She fluttered her eyelashes in return. He slid an arm around her waist, turning her towards the dreaded bicycle.

“I guess that I won’t be able to wear a hat for this.” Roger tossed his cap to a PA before pulling the blue helmet off the front handlebar and sliding it on. He grabbed the pink helmet next, spinning around to grin at a hesitant Tina. “A little birdie told me that you’re a bit of a rookie when it comes to biking. That’s why I decided to go with a bicycle built for two.” His smile gleamed, showing off his pearly veneers.

“Well, I’m not an expert. That’s for sure.” Tina forced a smile and prayed that her mounting panic was still undetectable. Roger clasped his helmet closed and reached over to help Tina, who was holding her helmet gingerly in one hand.

“It looks cute” he grinned, pulling the helmet snugly over her ears and adjusting the straps together. Tina forced a laugh and nervously reached up to tug on the helmet strap. For once she was acutely aware of the cameras behind them.

“Right. Get on the bike and ride to the end of the lane. Then get off and wait for us before we drive down to the next spot.” Naomi clipped, gesturing to one of the drivers.

Roger pulled the bike upright and swung his leg over the seat, his shorts riding up to expose his pale thighs. “Well let’s hope that I don’t wedgie myself.” He said and turned around to wink at Tina. “Okay, it’s really easy. You’ve just gotta get on the seat, put one foot on the pedal, the other on the ground, then I’ll push off and you just have to pedal. I’ll hold us steady.” Roger smiled before turning back around. Tina hesitantly stepped between the frame and the bike seat, bracing her hands on the handlebars.

“Okay.” She said, mainly to herself, before taking a deep breath and pushing herself backwards onto the seat. She gasped, her tiptoes barely grazing the gravel as she scrabbled for purchase. “Are you sure that this is a good idea?” she asked. Surely Naomi and the team of cameramen wouldn’t force her to do this if it was doomed to be a disaster, right?

“It’s all good babe.” Roger turned around to face her again, that stupid grin still plastered on his face.

Naomi made a cutting motion towards them, and Tina pointed at her to redirect Roger. “Let’s ride.” He shouted as he pushed off the ground, feet grinding against the pedals. Tina screamed, shocked at the sudden movement. Her knuckles shone white where she gripped the handlebars, and she struggled to shift her feet correctly on the pedals. “You’ve got to pedal!” Roger shouted over his shoulder. Having found a solid purchase, Tina began to pedal. Their combined weight made each push feel as though she was dragging her body through mud, and her bike seat was already digging into her butt. Roger’s eager pedalling and the very slight incline of the gravel drive seemed to be the only force keeping the bike upright. “How are we doing back there?” Roger called back to her.

“Do people really do this for fun? It’s so hard!” Tina exclaimed. They had just made it to the end of the drive, and her thighs were burning.

“Now stop!” Naomi called from behind them.

“It’s a waste when we’ve already come this far.” Roger said, picking up speed on his pedals.

“Roger! She told us to stop.” Tina shouted. She had stopped pedalling at Naomi’s command, but now realized that she was trapped on the bike. Gritting her teeth, she began to move again, shifting her weight slightly as the drive took a sharp turn to the right and the bike zoomed down the street. Tina’s hair whipped around her, forcing her to spit several strands out of her mouth.

“Ha ha! We’re home free baby!” Roger crowed, pumping a fist in the air.

“Can we please stop?” Tina shook her head to whip away her hair, losing her words to the wind in the process. She was feeling sick now, and all that she wanted to do was get off the bike.

“We’re almost there.” Roger sing songed, as he clicked up another gear. They sped through the village, spinning alongside a vineyard. Rows of grapevines stretched along both sides of the road. The road angled slightly towards the left, and Tina spotted a stone building quickly approaching them at the bottom of the hill. A row of hedges and prickle bushes were interspersed on the outside of the driveway. They sailed into the wide parking lot, spinning wide along the edge of the dirt track to avoid the camera vans. Roger slammed on his brakes, and Tina, who had been reading the winery’s welcome sign, let out a cry and abruptly fell sideways in her seat. The bike came crashing down, and Tina let out a cry, which was cut short with a sharp “Oof” as she hit the ground. Immediately she felt a lance of pain in her ankle, as it twisted beneath her. Shouts came from the parking lot as crew members rushed towards the capsized bike.

Roger groaned bedside Tina, and she heard him mumble “Fuck.” Tina gingerly pulled her leg from under the bike tire, wincing as fire shot through her ankle.

“Are you okay? Is anything hurt?” a crew member asked directly into her ear. Tina flinched away from him but whimpered as she put pressure on her ankle. “We need a medic over here!” the crew member shouted towards the sea of onlookers.

“No, WE need a medic!” urged the man squatting beside Roger. Tina looked up to see Roger siting rigidly in a bush, his face slack jawed as he clutched at stick buried in his calf. His shorts, formerly white, were now steadily becoming pink as blood seeped into the fabric.

“Roger!” Tina pulled herself towards him, reaching out a hand to grasp his shoulder. He recoiled at her touch, letting out a cry of pain as he jostled his leg. A medic jogged towards them, opening his first aid kit as he came. Unfortunately, he tripped as he hurried towards them, spilling the contents of the bag into the dirt.

“Oh, for fucks’ sake!” Naomi shrieked. “You idiot! Someone call me a fucking ambulance!” Tina whipped her head around at Naomi’s voice, watching as she slammed her car door closed and marched across the driveway towards them.

“Already on it!” A PA shouted to Naomi.

The medic, now on his hands and knees, scrabbled at a roll of gauze that was spinning away from him, unravelling as it went. It was at this point that Roger passed out. Tina screamed as he fell backwards onto her arm, jerking her face first into the dirt. Her jaw smashed the ground painfully, and she laid there spitting out dirt as yells rang out from the crew. The two of them were clearly putting on quite the show. This would certainly end up in all the promos for Roger’s season of Eternity. A scream rose up from the road, the crescendo of sirens growing louder as they came nearer.

“The ambulance is here!” a voice exclaimed from somewhere in the crowd. “Thank god!” Tina decided to stay on the ground until someone could confirm that she was not going to be injured further.

“We’re going to get you up and checked out, okay?” a new voice spoke directly into Tina’s ear, the heavily accented English confusing her momentarily. Strong arms lifted her upright and laid her carefully on her back in the dirt before transferring her to a stretcher.

Tina looked up at the bright blue sky as she jostled along the uneven ground. “It wasn’t a good day for a bike ride.” She said to no one in particular. A bright light shined into her right eye and she blinked rapidly to clear the spots away.

A medic leaned over her as he shined the light into her left eye. Then he clicked off the light and turned to confer with his partner in rapid fire Italian. “You can sit up now. You don’t have a concussion.” He said kindly, bracing a hand against her back to help her sit up. “The ankle is another matter. It’s most certainly broken.” Tina nodded, reaching out to touch it and hissed in pain.

“Well, this was a disaster.” Naomi stood at Tina’s shoulder.

“I told you that I’d never ridden a bike before.” Tina snapped. “If you’d just chosen another activity, we could have avoided this whole mess.”

Naomi smirked. “That wouldn’t make it half as entertaining. This makes great TV. Wine?”

“What?” Tina craned her neck to look over at Naomi, who was holding out a glass filled to the brim with red wine.

“It’ll take the edge off.” Naomi pushed the glass into Tina’s hand. “It’s their best Merlot, 1996, I think. It’s fucking good, anyways.”

Tina sized up her glass before taking a swig and gawking out at the mess of the parking lot. “I’m going home, aren’t I?” Naomi raised her eyebrows and sipped at her own wine before slipping down from the ambulance and sidling back towards the medics tending to Roger. Tina scowled after her and threw her head back to chug her wine. This was the worst first date of her life, but she was still at a winery and she was going to get drunk.