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Covert Narcissist at Work, subtle signs during meetings and performance reviews.

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By Wilson IgbasiPublished 2 months ago 4 min read
Covert Narcissist at Work, subtle signs during meetings and performance reviews.
Photo by Sebastian Herrmann on Unsplash

You face more stress when you deal with a covert narcissist at work because their behavior hides behind politeness. They avoid open conflict. They use subtle tactics that leave you confused. Their actions drain your confidence during meetings and performance reviews. You gain clarity when you know the signs. This helps you protect your mental space and keep your work steady.

Covert narcissists rely on indirect control. They present themselves as calm and thoughtful. Their comments look harmless on the surface. The impact hits you later. You start questioning your decisions. You blame yourself for things you did not cause. Their power comes from subtle pressure and quiet judgment.

In group meetings, they use tone and timing to influence the room. They may interrupt you in soft ways. They speak right after you and phrase their ideas as corrections. They present your input as incomplete. They shift attention to their points even when the team acknowledges your contribution. You notice this pattern when the team stops hearing your ideas.

By 2H Media on Unsplash

They hide behind praise. They say things like your idea is interesting but needs structure. They use gentle wording to downplay your work. They frame themselves as supportive while pushing you down the ladder. This creates doubt. You start editing yourself before you speak.

Another sign appears when they dismiss you with silence. They look away while you talk. They avoid eye contact. They take notes when others speak but close their notebook when it is your turn. This shapes the room’s perception without saying anything. People assume your points matter less.

Covert narcissists use strategic alliances. They whisper agreement with someone else’s idea only after ignoring yours. This helps them shape group dynamics while staying unnoticed. They shift loyalty based on who gives them admiration. When you do not provide constant validation, they restrict access to opportunities.

Performance reviews expose deeper patterns. Covert narcissists rely on vague criticism. They say things like you need more initiative or you need to improve communication without giving examples. This protects them. You cannot contest vague claims. You leave confused. You start working harder without direction.

They twist past events. They take credit for your achievements. They frame your success as a team outcome under their guidance. They highlight your mistakes but hide the context. Their goal is to weaken your confidence while keeping their image clean.

They also use selective memory. They forget moments when you exceeded expectations. They only remember situations that support their narrative. They use this during reviews to build a one sided picture. You feel unseen and undervalued.

Covert narcissists use comparison. They mention other employees who take more initiative or handle tasks with more precision. They do this to trigger insecurity. The comparison never reflects your actual performance. It serves their need for control.

They shift blame in quiet ways. They phrase things like we faced some delays, and some tasks were not completed the way we expected. They do not name you directly. They expect you to internalize the message. You end up apologizing for things outside your control.

In team meetings, their subtle dominance shows through micro expressions. They smirk when someone questions you. They lean back when you speak. They sit forward when someone challenges your point. These cues signal to the room who they see as valuable.

They use questions as weapons. They ask you to explain small details in front of others. They frame the questions as curiosity. The goal is to make you appear unprepared. They enjoy watching you scramble. They maintain a calm posture to keep their image intact.

Covert narcissists use delayed responses to control communication. They reply slowly to your messages while replying quickly to others. This creates hierarchy in subtle ways. You feel inferior without understanding why. They do this to reinforce their status.

By Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

Their biggest strength is doubt. They sow it with soft words. They make you think you are overreacting. They rely on your empathy. They expect you to consider their feelings before considering your own.

You protect yourself when you use clarity. Document your work. Keep records of instructions and achievements. Bring specifics to every performance review. This removes space for vague criticism. It forces them to face evidence.

Use direct language in meetings. Speak your points clearly. Avoid apologizing for your input. When they interrupt, say you would like to finish your thought. Keep your tone calm and steady. This sets boundaries without inviting conflict.

Build support outside their influence. Connect with colleagues who value your work. Share your achievements with supervisors through regular updates. Do this through clear reports. This reduces the power of quiet sabotage.

Trust your perception. Covert narcissists depend on self doubt. When you see patterns repeat, take them seriously. Their behavior may look soft but the impact is strong. Your well being improves when you name the behavior.

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About the Creator

Wilson Igbasi

Hi, I'm Wilson Igbasi — a passionate writer, researcher, and tech enthusiast. I love exploring topics at the intersection of technology, personal growth, and spirituality.

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