Christmas

“See here, "Ralph said. “That’s a f-f-fucking good pair of legs.”

“Oh piss off. We playing that game again?” James said, playfully, pushing his shoulder into Ralph’s. “And watch your language. Remember we’re trying to get more sophisticated.”

“Wh-wh-what else you gonna do asshole?” Ralph said. “And you watch your language, eh? Sides, how you gonna get class when you ain’t got no home.”

“Me? I’m gonna sit here and watch that snow fallin and listen to the music coming from the big mall, cause that’s all the Christmas I’m gonna get. And I love Christmas. And you’re the asshole here,” he said peeking out from under the corner of the sleeping bag that was wrapped tightly around his shoulders. “One day I’m gonna have my own Christmas in my own home. And not one that’s from the government either. You’ll see.”

From underneath his coat hood Ralph noticed the giant scar on James’ face and said, “its showing.”

James adjusted the fabric of his blanket to cover the side of his face. “We just gonna sit here all day then? That’s it. Let’s go. How much ya got?” he said reaching into the pocket of his own filthy coat and pulling out a few coins. “I got one dollar and thirty cents.”

“Sh-sh-shit, now that’s a real pair,” said Ralph looking onto the city sidewalk from the vantage point of the doorway where they sat; warm enough, on their tattered sleeping bags. “I’ve got two dollars and thirty-five cents. We got enough for two coffees and maybe we could share a donut. But wait, here comes another one,” and he oogled the slim legs that flashed beneath a short coat. “Boy, what I wouldn’t like to do there!

“Ah, fuck you. Like you’d ever have the chance,” James snickered.

“W-w-well at least I don’t still believe in Santa Claus and gettin all whiny about C-C-Christmas. Ooh! These ones are beautiful.”

“Well, get your hand out of your pants and let’s get that coffee. I’m thirsty and I wanna go in the mall to warm up. And I wanna see that giant Christmas tree,” Ralph said.

“L-L-like they’re gonna let us in.” Ralph’s hand appeared from under his bedding.

“Well, they might not if we’re lugging all our gear.” James said motioning to the sleeping bags and the battered, rusty shopping cart with crooked wheels.

“You’re f-f-fucking nuts. We can’t just leave our stuff here. G-g-grangy and Al will be sure to steal it. They’ve been sizing up our stuff for d-d-days. And I know they’re watching us. They always are.”

“Fuck man, you are so paranoid. Days? I haven’t seen them for two weeks. Probably sleepin at that church a few blocks over. Let’s go.”

They neatly laid out the dirty sleeping bags, so it would look like they belonged to somebody who wasn’t too far away. They pushed the shopping cart over the bags and stuffed their other belongings under the cart.

Straightening jackets and patting hair as they went, James pulled his collar up, as far over his scar as he could. They left their hats off so the wind could brush and clean through their hair. Not that too many bugs would be settled there this time of year.

The snow was raining down now, and they bent slightly into the on coming flurry.

The young woman in the short coat, approached and handed them each a twenty-dollar bill. “Merry Christmas,” she raised her voice above the weather.

“G-G-Geezuz, Ralph said. “I knew she saw me.”

“Saw you staring at her is more like it,” James grunted. “Twenty bucks! Merry Christmas to us!”

“C-c- could buy a bottle to celebrate??,” Ralph said,

“Nah,” James said, We ain’t eat since yesterday. Better save it. Sides, we gave that up, remember?”

Ralph nodded. “Forty-two whole days.”

They passed a Santa Claus who was ringing a bell. James waved to him.

They took the long way to the furthest mall entrance. That way, they could take the shortest route to the donut shop once inside the mall, and avoid the crowds. That really made Ralph jumpy.

“F-f-fuck man look at that line up,” Maybe we should go back?” Ralph’s face paled.

“You wait here then and I’ll do the buyin. Give me your change,” James said.

Ralph waited just outside the restaurant, his back pressed to the wall.

A man approached and Ralph started to swear and flail his arms. James appeared at Ralph’s side and said to the man, “He’s a little kooky. He don’t mean no harm”. He took the gift bag the man held out and said, “thanks and Merry Christmas to you too.” He took note of a sticker on the bag with a picture of a church and a cup of coffee. He recognized the church.

As they left the mall, James gave Ralph his money.

“Wh-wh-what you payin?”

“No asshole, “course not. Why would I pay? There was this man in the line behind me who said it was on him and he added in two sandwiches, donuts AND cookies!” He held up two paper bags.

“Geezus.” Ralph said.

“Thanks to the baby Jesus you mean,” James winked. “It is Christmas.”

The trip back to their doorway was a bit faster with the winter wind and snow on their backs and a spring in their step.

Not far from the mall, Ralph stopped and reached down to retrieve something black from the snow.

“We don’t need more garbage,,” James said. Throw it away.

“No, look," Ralph said. It’s one of those nice notebooks we see people with in the donut shop sometimes. You know, writing while they have their coffee. “Its not garbage, it’s a nice notebook. I could use one of these. I like writing.” Ralph said, wiping snow from the cover of the book. “Somebody must have just dropped it. Its not even really wet.” They looked about but there were too many pedestrians to know who to ask.

“What you got to write anyway. Why don’t we just toss it?

"No, it's got writing in it", Ralph said,

“Maybe it’s a manuscript for a book James said , taking the book from Ralph. Maybe there is a name on the front page”

“It says,” James read slowly. If you find this notebook, please take it to the nearest bank branch. And there was a stamp with the name of the bank in ink beside the message. “I know where there’s one of those banks and Its just a block away, he said, “Let’s be good Samaritans and deliver it.

They were at the bank in under five minutes and staring into the kind eyes of a bank manager. “I just need to make a call.” the man said. The man kept his eyes on them, smiling as he spoke on the phone. He seemed almost jolly.

"G-G-Geezus, Ralph said. You'd think he was S-S-Santa Claus himself. M-m-maybe we’re in trouble. He was becoming agitated and bolted toward the door with James close on his heel. They passed another Santa on the street.

The grocery cart appeared to be just as they left it.

“Told you so,” James said.

Then they saw two new extra thick and warm sleeping bags and two more gift bags nestled in the cart.

“Oh my!.” Ralph was almost at a loss for words Even curse words.

“What was that I said about Christmas?” James grinned.

For the moment they had forgotten about the trip to the bank.

Settled in the new bedding, twenty-dollar bills hidden away, gift bags waiting to be opened and coffee in hand, James raised his cup in a toast.

Ralph was too busy to notice.

Instead, grinning, he said. “See here, now that’s what I call a pair of legs.”

The pair of legs that followed were dressed in red and not shapely.

“Here they are,” a Santa Claus. said. The bank manager beamed at James and Ralph and said, “Real sorry it took me so long on the phone. I had to confirm a few things. Santa here, provided us a few details about you, because he’s been seeing you around a lot over the holidays. That’s how I found you. You see, a very wealthy man wanted to have some Christmas fun and do something real nice for some folks. Three notebooks were left in different parts of the city. Yours was the first to be found. The man is giving you twenty thousand dollars each.”

“T- t-twenty thousand dollars!” Ralph exclaimed with James chiming in.

“There’s more.” the man said. “The bank will help you manage the money free of charge if you like and can help you earn some income. That’s how I found you. The same man owns a condo building in the area and has a small unit for you to share, free of cost. You can move in anytime, even as soon as this evening, If, you want, that is.”

“Ho, Ho Ho” Santa said. “Take the deal guys.”

Both Ralph and James nodded, speechless.

It was agreed a cab would pick them up at seven that night to take them to their new home.

“Bye the way," James called out. What was the writing in the book?”

“Christmas Carols,” the man from the bank yelled back.

Settling into their sleeping bags in the doorway for the last time, James peeked from the corner of his hood and said, “shit, I told you I loved Christmas!

Ralph, smiled and said, “watch your language. “Now look at that beautiful gal. “