C.R.E.A.M.

Cash rules everything around me and cream gets the place in my heart that sugar once used to have. So let the wind take me away on a day like this where picnics are the last thing on my mind but I still make sandwiches to pass the time. As I walk a thin line in my own mind between logic and creativity, I’ve noticed one underlying truth about this new life I’ve chosen to live; money is the root in which a tree of life birthed people who made evil decisions in their pursuit to get more. I recently found a bag of 20,000$ in only 2$ bills. This is interesting for two reasons that intrigue me, but one more particular, how does one even come across this many two dollar bills. This could also be someone who was saving their money, which would make me feel worse. None the less the moon is in retrograde so I decided to cut my hair, quit my job, and break up with my boyfriend. While this may all seem so sudden, these were decisions I was always contemplating making. Also, twenty thousand dollars is not a lot of money either, that’s why I sold my house, bought a Winnebago, and have decided to travel across the country and document my experiences in this little black book I first bought for myself, to write down some goals I wanted to accomplish. Look at me now, cutting my bucket list in half and creating all new goals. So far I have made my way across the South, and half of my book is filled with one night stands, getting tickets for parking in the wrong spot, and running out of clean underwear. My daily routine has not changed for the last two months, and though I’ve never felt more free in my life, I wonder if I am still being stagnant.

I haven’t even looked in the bag with the money since I first hit the road, and nobody even knows I have it. It haunts Me some days when I hear a loud noise on the road or a fast car passing by as if somebody is on my heels, but who is after me? Who even cares that I left? I got rid of my phone, disconnected all my social media, like wow, now that I’m thinking about it, am I dramatic. Was me finding this twenty thousand dollars just a blessing because I was behind on my bills? What am I doing on the coast? I miss my friends and I miss my family, but this has been the best decision I have ever made for myself. I love these new experiences, and I am who I have become in this new life. I have died to myself a thousand times to become this new me, and if heaven was a mile away I would take them back to middle school when I set the record. No records kept of this money I have or of my disappearance but I record myself thinking out loud often. I’ve noticed a recurring theme in my mind about going home so maybe after two years it’s finally time to make that trip. So my last destination brought me to open arms, surprised faces to my new appearance, and tears of joy. I grew up in a small town so everybody, I mean everybody, waa still there. Even my boyfriend, the one I dumped a few years ago is still here, and when I asked him why, he told me because he lost out in this business venture where he could sell 2$ bills online for 4$ and use that money to start a business. I almost went outside my body on that day, thinking wow, here I am, marrying that man and having two kids by him, after all my experiences. Still, even now, two kids later, I still have not told him about that twenty thousand dollars.