Blurbs about F&F

To some of the people I had met between April 2010, and November 2012 : You had made the breaks from school fun, despite all of us either being broke college students, fresh out of high school, between employment, or between pay periods. The drinking and non-drinking games we played helped us get to know each other in a way similar to the current day Truth or Drink from CUT. There are a few people, who are not listed for good reason, that given the chance to have a do-over I would not have even bothered to have introduced myself to you. To those I have known longer than the aforementioned short season: what lies below are the lessons that I have gleaned from you in the time we have known each other, some positive things and some criticisms I was unable to voice in the time we had/ have been in communication.

RR: I absolutely love you. I feel like I always will. We've known each other since middle school. You have seen more than I can imagine in a metaphorical sense. I know you have a lot of things you keep from people because as a safety mechanism. I hope that you still see the beauty in life.

LM: we had an experimentation phase that was fun. Had I not learned about the historical significance of certain things when I did, you would have been to artist to have given me my first and only tattoo. Due to some mistakes made, on my part, we had stopped talking for quite some time. I'm frustrated that we weren't able to reconcile our differences before I had found out about you dying a year and a half ago. I miss you like crazy.

MP: We were really close in school but our idiocy had destroyed our friendship. We had made some terrible decisions together and said worse to each other. From what I last heard, you have had a few children. I hope you have expanded your social circle beyond just your significant other (pre- pandemic), otherwise it can make for a lonely world.

ML: You are intelligent and hypersexual. If you do not/ did not get your act together bad things can happen to you in the form of relationship troubles. Being friends with you has taught me that we both were immature when we had first met. It would a great benefit to date people that are emotionally more mature.

MG: You have an abundance of great opportunities heading your way. I just hope the people you surround yourself with keep you grounded. By the looks of how your career is going, you have an excellent support system, amazing friends, a beautiful wife, and soon a wonderful family. I hope all you do is successful.

CB: While we were in school together we had told each other a few secrets about our lives. Though we no longer speak, those secrets are still safe with me. If we should ever cross paths again, think we should try and be friends again, but take things slowly.

EL: You and the few other college friends I had met, are the greatest decision made out of the entire time spent in that terrible college. Congratulations on great things happening to you in your life.

MM: You are ambitious tenacious, and suspicious. Those are your greatest benefits in discerning people when you first meet people and also your greatest downfall for any type of long term platonic or familial relationships. constantly pushing the long term friendships and relationships you have away can get you in trouble be isolating if you aren't careful.

Ma'am, you need to choose better friends especially if the guy friends you do have are trying to get sex from you. You had been raised with a lot of self worth and self deprecation, but because of the things you will not disclose, you do not feel like you deserve the best the world has to offer so you choose to settle. While you are working on your physical health, instead of JUST watching the mental health side of any social media platform you're on, you should INVEST in your own. When you do that, your world will open more and you'll have more tools to work with. It's understandable if you don't want children because of the things you went through. Do not torture yourself or anyone else by subjecting yourself to a relationship you knew would not work from week one. It's unfair to both you and them.

JV: In the short time we had known each other outside of an educational or work environment, it seems like the only thing you wanted to to do with me was use me sexually. Just because we had an interaction with each other, whether sexual or not, doesn't mean it has to be every time we hang out. we've hung a few times and every single time there was a sexual act being done. If you have noticed the lack of contact and communication, that is the reason why. If you have not noticed how infrequently we have spoken, then it's best to keep it that way.

AL: Simply put, you are amazing. We had experienced a lot of firsts together and for that you will always have a place in my heart. I love you. I pray you are successful in whichever endeavor you choose.

JM, I had a massive crush on you when we were younger. I feel like it had mainly to do with proximity more than anything. Seeing as we had drifted apart over the past 13 years, congratulations on your marriage and I hope things are going well for you.

Sis, I love that you know your gift and that you have become attuned to it. Your gift has gotten us into and out of a lot of trouble growing up. When ever you are ready to take the plunge into naturopathic medicine or holistic care, you will be fully supported. It's completely understandable if you want to turn down the noise for some time so you can focus on self care. Physically, we have dealt with a lot of death, but on the emotional side, the things you see seems to be taking a toll on you when it comes to how you feel about relationships. I hope that in every endeavor you seek out, that you are prosperous.

Dad, you told me a lot of great things growing up. As we have been getting older, I have seen and learned about the mistakes you had made in life with raising us in our early childhood. Some of the things I heard that was done to some of your children older than me is astonishing. Now that you are older and your older children are giving you grandchildren, I honestly think it would benefit you to speak to a therapist about some of the things you had dealt with growing up and in the military. I understand it is taboo to seek outside counseling and therapy (outside of the church) in the black community, but in order to be the best version of yourself, you need to take care of yourself. Fully. That means physically and emotionally/mentally. With church, you're taking care of the spiritual.

KS: I like that when we had first met, you were fun and ambitious in your own way. In the time we had drifted apart, you had been dealt a terrible hand, which, compounded with the things I did not know or fully understood at the time, decimated your self esteem and self worth. I hope with the positive changes you've made in your life presently, we are able to maintain a healthy friendship and relationship. We had experienced some amazing things in a healthy manner, possibly for the first time ever. I love that we are still learning on an individual level and in a social level too.

GD: We have gone through a lot in the past decade and a half. From what I remembered on how you managed things when we were first getting to know each other, it seems like you were traumatized. I'm not even sure about the age it happened, but the way you carry yourself shows something traumatic happened to you at a young age. Once you had managed to get a hold of the things that had broken you and started rebuilding, first by yourself and with the help of your counselors- and later on with your other half, I see how resilient you have become. I admire that about you.

PP: Based on how you are toward your own children and grandchildren, it seems like you have a lot of things you need to unpack. My guess has to do with family trauma stemming from witnessing your dad beat you, your mom and siblings constantly when you were young, probably physically and emotionally degrading you, and having no positive outlets. Instead of finding healthy ways to cope, you internalized it as a teen. It got worse as you got older and when you started having children years later. I feel like the negative influences from childhood is why you got into relationships with men who were either pushovers so you can feel like your father, or men that made you feel like your father made you feel. Your dad took the love you had for him at a young age for granted, and you are emotionally fragile. Hence, the fragile items in your house.

SE: I saw you as a great person to party with and do lighthearted things with, but I don't think you can handle the more serious things people have to deal with. This may have changed in time but this was how I had seen you in that time.