Black History Month

I began writing this piece in January hoping to be able to celebrate what Black History month was all about. Check your calendar Teresa, It's April.! Duh! I know that, just settle down. I did a lot of research and I just wasn't ready to share until now. This research was fascinating and sometimes infuriating

Why don't we all join hands and go down the rabbit hole together. Ready? Let's go!

I found that Black History Month, as so many things are, was born out of the frustration of the men an women who were feeling ignored by history." James Baldwin, the Great American Writer was frustrated because he didn't see anything about his life's story in school. James Baldwin wrote poetry essays, and novels. He was also an activist who wanted to bring change to America. The most notable of his works was Notes of a Native Son, ( 1955) Nobody Knows My Name (1961) and The Fire Next Time (1963). Thank you Wikipedia"

I was thinking as I wrote this passage about my own schooling and what I learned about Black History. I started school in 1969 and graduated in 1982. I can honestly say I don't remember a whole lot. I know we discussed Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I know we must have spoken about slavery. but that's it. I don't remember much more. I'm sure there was more. I just don't carry it in my brain anymore.. I also sit here and wonder what do we really know about slavery? We know what we were told but none of us were there. Slavery, to me, was just the precursor to what we know call racism, segregation and years and years of poverty in the lives of Black America. I hate saying Black America, We are all Americans but this piece is about Black History.

There are two other important men who were as frustrated as James Baldwin. Dr. Carter G. Woodson who had a PHD in History and Jessie E Moorland who was an American minister, community leader and also a civic leader. They founded the Association for the Study of Negro Life and History. It was an agency meant to bring education about Black History to America. It was meant to begin conversations and to bring change.

I love this quote from Dr. Woodson, " If a race has no history it has no worthwhile tradition. It becomes a negligible factor in the thought of the World and it stands in danger of being exterminated." Powerful, right?

Powerful and pretty timely as well. I believe this is what Black Americans are angry about right now. I understand the shootings that have occurred. They are certainly front and center. There have been too many shootings, to much violence. When does it all change?

If you believe in your heart that all Americans have the same opportunities to have great lives in America. I implore you to please speak to a Paramedic, EMT, Fire Fighter, Law Enforcement Official or Social worker what the difference is. Please really listen to what they say.

I am a former EMT. I began i n my home town with the North Brunswick First aid and Rescue Squad. in the suburbs. I gained a lot of experience working with my wonderful Squad mates but I had a lot more to learn. I wanted to see Urban America. I started out working for Robert Wood Johnson Hospital in New Brunswick, NJ. a small city but a city just the same. I very briefly worked for Rutgers University EMS but I realized that picking up drunken college kids just wasn't my thing. That was years ago. I'm hoping that that situation righted itself. I'm not just giving you my resume' I'm going to tell you what I saw up close and sometimes too personal. This is one of those Love me or Hate me moments in time. You may not like what I'm going to say but it's not my responsibility to tell you how to feel.

In the Suburbs houses come in small, medium, large, and extra large. They are usually multi bedrooms, one for each kid and the parents The inside smell good, not like urine. There was usually more than one bathroom and these house had heat, hot water and air conditioning. There were nice separations between the houses. There were playhouses , swings, jungle gyms, swimming pools all on pretty lawns. You might be saying to yourself, " Teresa, I didn't grow up that way. I shared a bedroom. I had to share one bathroom. " That's true. I know that not everyone lived in mansions, not everyone had their own space but I think for the most part, in the Suburbs we felt safe. We lay our heads down at night and didn't have to worry about violence breaking out or stray bullets coming to our houses. This is the truth of my life, let's move on.

When I began working in the city I'll be honest I was a little scared because I knew it would only be me in the back of the ambulance with whoever, with whatever going to the hospital. I was also a little scared to go into the " projects" I had never heard anything good about these places but I knew I was going to learn and learn I did.

My first impression when I saw the Projects up close I thought to myself, " who the hell thought this was a good idea? You can't put hundreds of people in one place and expect them all to get along. I mean, for crying out loud my sister was just across the hall from me and sometimes I wanted to push her out a window. Let's move on with some more history. We'll come back to this later.

My new best friend Wikipedia confirmed what I knew. The Projects were the brain child of President Franklin D. Roosevelt and apparently his flock of sheep that came up with this dumb idea. The first project building was put up in Atlanta, Georgia in 1935. This was all part of the New Deal it was intended to solve the homelessness problem during the Great Depression. This was a huge mistake and it continues to be a huge mistake. Well, look at me. I did learn something in history. The part I didn't know was that hundreds of Black Americans were forced out of the homes they were living in to make way for the new Projects buildings. I'm confused. If this whole " projects" idiocy was meant to solve the problem of homelessness why did we make Black people homeless? Does this make sense to anyone? Am I missing something?

The units were rented to affluent people who could afford to pay their rent These lands were also publicly owned and maintained by the property owners. These buildings were for Whites only. Why? Why was that? Now you're probably saying, " Teresa, what happened to all the Black Families that were forced from their homes.?" Wikipedia said that there were other projects buildings put up on land owned by the Federal Government. The rents were also paid by with Federal Money in the form of Welfare. I think we all know that Welfare is a social program that was never meant to go on forever but much like White families continuing to work the big jobs that paid big money Black people were having trouble supporting their families because it was difficult for Black people to find work. These other projects weren't well maintained. There was no small, medium, large or extra large. They were all fairly small apartments. The tenants weren't supposed to have pets but they did have roaches. . There were some very friend people that lived in these conditions. They did everything they could to make their homes tidy but the ever present roach population made it difficult.

Why do these " projects" still stand? I mean, 1935.. 2021 seems a but sad that they still stand today. I can't speak for every state in the Union but I can speak for NJ, Newark, Jersey City, Trenton, Paramus. all still have standing " projects" buildings.

In the late 90's to early 2000's I was working in Newark. The following is some of what we saw. The elevators almost always smelled like urine. It was sometimes even still wet on the floor. I can tell you that I hated it and so did my partners but when someone one the 21st floor is asking for help it's not particularly a choices. Our equipment was heavy, using the elevators was a last resort. The lighting was bad if there was any lighting at all. It was a tradition that once the city replaced lights they would be broken, allegedly by the drug dealers who didn't want their work postponed due to good lighting.

I mentioned roaches already but what I left out was the fact that children suffered the most from the effects of roach by products. I can attest to the fact that we had way to many children going to the hospital for asthma. It was heart breaking.

What about the children? It wasn't unusual to find babies and little kids sleeping on mattresses on the floor because there wasn't room in the bed. The were in buildings with no air conditioning. No toys, The smell was usually something like scalded grease or cigarettes. They did have jungle gyms outside. They had swings, two swings for hundreds of kids to share but they were broken anyway. There was no soft grass for the children to fall on. It was concrete. AGAIN , WHO IN THE HELL THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA!!! Thank Goodness the children were rarely near those things.

Oh, I'm sorry this was supposed to be about Black History Month. It's not what I expected it to be but I think it's one of the most important pieces I will ever write. You know, come to think of it I've never seen a Black History Month parade. I mean, Christopher Columbus still gets his own parade and we all know now that he didn't find American. Why are there no Black History Month decorations at local stores? Why aren't there even wreaths to put on the door? Dr. Woodson chose the second week in February as Black History week because it encompassed the Birthdays of both Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglas. Frederick Douglas escaped slavery to become the National leader of the abolitionist movement. Wikipedia, you are my new hero.

I have given you factual material both, my friend, Wikipedia and the other straight from my own experiences. I wanted to share just a bit more with you. A few stories that make a strong argument, for change.

When the Prince street projects in Newark were blown up there was along line of ambulances watching and cheering it's demise. It was the worst! Shootings, stabbings, sexual assaults. I don't know what happened to the folks that lived there. I seem to remember this occurred when President Clinton tried to bring about change with his A, B, C, D classification as to where people would live. A's got good places D's got the other projects that hadn't been blown up.

I have to say that I'm not sorry that Wikipedia and I brought you Black History in a different way. I hope my short story will help in some way. I'm now going to ask you, every single one of you to write to your Congressmen and Women, Your Senators or even the President of the United States. I get it that he wants to be a hero to Mexico but could you also direct someone towards the Americans who have been here since birth.

If you are still doubting that society is different for Whites and Blacks please read these accounts of emergencies my partners and I responded to.

There are some calls that we go on that will stay with us forever. These are two of mine. My partner and I were sent to an elementary school, K-8 When we got there the Principal led the sobbing child to the ambulance . The Principal pulled me aside and told me that she had been ganged raped in the bathroom by five 8th grade boys. She was only nine . She wanted to sit near me to tell me what happened. She was so tiny. I lay down on the stretcher like she asked me too. She then crawled onto my lap facing me. She was still crying so I just lay her head on my chest. She stopped crying after we left the school area. She whispered every horrible detail into my right ear. She was in shock. I think that was the only way she could tell me all that she did. She was a brave little girl. I can't even imagine what happened after we left her at the ED but I hope she was well taken care of in every aspect. I have no idea why this happened, was it because it was a school that was predominately Black? If she lived in a white neighborhood would this have happened? Shouldn't there have been a way to protect her from that? I have no way of knowing.

This next story also burns in my brain sometimes. We met a family in one of the easier projects buildings she was nine going on ten. We found her crawling across the floor , crying and screaming. She kept saying, " my stuff hurts." She meant her vaginal area. If you haven't already caught on she was in labor. We delivered her nine pound boy right there on the floor while she kept promising her Mom she was never having sex again. Mom was about to pass out. This little girl was on the heavy side and wore big baggy sweaters which is how she hid her pregnancy. The baby's Mom didn't want anything to do with him. Grand Mom didn't look ready to hold herself together. I absolutely loved this Lady, " Teresa" she said, What am I supposed to do with this baby? I already work five jobs to feed the four kids I have. She's ( indicating her own daughter) isn't going to be able to take care of this baby. I'm not on any type of welfare. What do I do? What would you do?" I held that chunky little nugget close to my heart. Grandma and baby Mom still didn't want to hold him. I just opened my mouth and said, " I think that maybe you take a moment to hold him when you can, then you kiss him , "goodbye" and wish him the happiest life ever." This little sleeping angel had no idea what path his feet were going to be on and of course I didn't ever find out what happened next but I hope he is having a really happy life.

The people, the Black people who lived in Newark. have had to acclimate to these living conditions but I don't think they should have too. I'd like to know what the plan is going forward but I think that the peaceful protestors have it right. It's time to change. I think it's pretty obvious that schools are still largely segregated. Our neighborhoods are also pretty segregated. What's our action plan because this just can't continue.

When I was growing up Adults had the most idiotic saying to excuse bag behavior, " That's just the way it is." THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS? Well then using that big of logic if I were to go around hammering nails into other people's skulls I could be forgiven because, " that's just the way Teresa is? I have doubts about that.

This, my friends, appears to be what Black History is all about. The hopelessness, high crime, gangs, and the culture of drugs. I, however, have a lot of hope for America. If this Pandemic has taught us anything it should be that we are all humans. We need each other, We need to fight for each other. I believe keeping pressure on elected officials need to work on this problem. I don't have the answer to this problem accept to maybe get Habitat for humanity to help build nice homes where people have their own doors to close at night.

I need to close this piece but I have something to say that Wikipedia didn't help me with. I know there have been shooting of Black people that haven't made any real sense. I'm not going to judge because I wasn't there. What I do know is that NO POLICE OFFICIAL EVER GOES TO WORK SAYING, " I'M GOING TO GO OUT AND KILL SOMEONE TODAY. There will never be a time when any kind of business won't have shitheads working fat their jobs. I think there are more good than bad.

Lastly, I've always been accused of tilting at windmills., being to sensitive, wearing my heart on my sleeve. ETC. I don't have the solution but I'd like to know what Black people want. I mean do they want to keep their " hoods" or do they want neighborhoods?"

America, we need to stop thinking of each other as "Us" and "Then" We might want to stop seeing each other as enemies. I don't expect us to fall in love with each other over night but it would be a good start if we just acknowledge each other, say, " hello, thank you, have a nice day etc." We aren't going to fall into each other's arms and sing " I'm proud to be an American." Hell there are people in my own family I dislike.

Let's just do this because as The Great Bon Jovi says, "

BECAUSE WE CAN!

I've donje a lot of reading and didn't get all down on paper but I did my best to open eyes. If you like my story tips are always appreciated.