Belonging

June 4th, 2015; it was mid-day Thursday.

We've taken shelter from the rain inside the small mausoleum in a graveyard. Even though this morning was kinda gloomy, I had thought to myself that just maybe it would get sunny later on since the weather lady said, "today will be a glamorous semi-sunny Thursday" and so, what gives? Stupid news weather lady... actually, I take that back, sorry news weather lady. Maybe she does whatever she is told or whatever, I guess... although, who the hell would even say "glamours semi-sunny".

Even if the rest of today stays gloomy, 'tis not so bad, plus I won't have to wear my silly prescription sunglasses because of my eye condition. People, let me introduce to you ocular albinism, a condition in my eyes with many symptoms, light sensitivity being one of them. Now, thanks to Mother Nature, I won't have to wear those sunglasses... just my second pair of regular glasses 'cause at the end of the day, I am still nearsighted, another damn symptom.

Anyways, there's been worse days, I suppose. It was pretty peaceful, especially now—the frogs softly croaked, the crickets chirped, and the light sound of the rain falling... kinda depressing but strangely very nice.

And so, as I am in deep thought while staring at the far but clear view of the tombstone, the reason for what and why I came here today, a hand waved in front of my face. I looked at her while she softly said something, but the weather got worse, making it hard for me to hear whatever it was she had said or asked.

I deeply sigh and looked at the ground. It took me a moment to reply back as I tried to get comfortable—I leaned back and stretched out my legs to cross them.

"As you already know, my brothe' is one year old and it's already summer... so we will be moving," I said, empathizing 'we will' to make it more clear to her. I was looking at the ceiling, I couldn't dare myself to look at her, not until I was done," and it is for good this time. I know you overheard me and mom... she is, "officially done" I guess. I'm not so sure what she's thinking but I won't argue with her because, I mean, I'm only seventeen and maybe I'm just making excuses. I know that maybe you even understand but I just can't help it and just want to explain because I know that when I leave... you'll be left here all alone and blue. I don't want to leave, knowing that you might go back to square one or that something bad could happen while I'm out there..."

...

"Y'know, mom already sold the house and bought another one in Cali... and where exact? I'm not sure, but I bet it's in a small town that's the complete opposite of any known and well populated city." I was in a trance then continued to ramble, "y'know, at the beginning of last year, I told you and so many times too, that I won't be staying here for long and I also said not to get too comfortable around me but you didn't seem to get that through your thick skull," I scoff, "even if it did, you still wouldn't get it since your brain is so small and made out of chicken," I sighed feeling gloomy and now hungry, "I want chicken... Anyways, I do remember adding that we will most likely leave for good, as you already know and oh! I know what you're gonna say, "oh, but you said maybe-" we'll no bitch, as you can see now, this shit is for reals!"

...

"Why would you even take on as a challenge, huh? You are such a... a-a dumbass, before and now! What pisses me off even more is that I gave in, I let you in... I let myself become selfish because I was fuckin' blue and shit too..."

...

"...y'know what else... I do empathize with mom, Dani, and Nina. I will never forget how they felt, which is why I don't act like a brat about moving so far. And after mom and I talked about her wanting to move, I told her that I'll be fine, even though that's a lie," I laughed without humor, "and she didn't think twice about my approval and well you already know what she did afterwards. I wonder, if I had said no, if she would have really stayed for me... how long would it take for her to say "I can't do this anymore" and leave... Anyways, traveling will do 'em good, I believe that over time they will move on and plus, Esau will be there with 'em, he's like- like a baby Jesus to them." I snort, "sorry, I know, bad joke but seriously though, Esau is their everything and him being there changes everything."

...

"We are starting a new life now, I guess. I really don't think it's unfair because they've stayed here longer than they wanted and it was for me... well, except Dani, that vegan bitch could care less if I'm happy here or not."

...

"A-Another thing... some things of what I said probably doesn't make much sense because well... I already had a cereal discussion with mom about me wanting to have that a normal teenage life, y'know? I like going to school on campus because I can experience life in high school like have that one teacher you hate, having friends and going out with them. I want to go to prom and all that shit for my senior year, y'know? I don't want to go back to... how it was before, before I started school, before I met you."

...

"Anyways, I don't want just any kind of friends, y'know? I want friends like y-you, a real friend that has my back. Wait-no, you're not my friend, nor my best friend or sister 'cus I mean like, Dani is my sister and we both don't get along like you and I! You ain't any of those because you are more like my soulmate, my person! You were there whenever I always felt like... blue and shit, for any little thing."

...

"Like remember all those times I'd call you crying 'bout sad repeated episodes from Grey's Anatomy." I said, reminiscing. "Even though I've watched it so many times, it always gets me so emotional. You'd always come over just to make me feel better with fast food or ice cream, even cry together at times... Anyways! I don't want a lot of friends, I just want a small group of good friends because to many is just annoying. I want good enough friends that are like you but not exactly. Like not exactly like you, y'know? I only want there to be you and only you because I lo- shit... wait, I-" I turn to look at her and gasp. This is not the reaction I expected from her, although I am worried, I chuckle a bit at her messy appearance due to the crying of course and the weather.

Joy lives up to her name, she is the joy of any place or the annoyance in certain cases. She is gorgeous, along with an amazing personality, which makes her one of the popular people in the school, everyone knows the one and only, Joy. Rarely is she sad, angry, or depressed and the rare times that she is, is a sight you do not want to see.

In this moment, I'm worried that I made her sad or angry or worse! Both. But as I really look at her messy appearance—her light honey brown eyes are not dull, as they would be if she were sad or depressed, just red and puffy from the crying. Her round shaped face is flushed, her ivory skin tone reveals a bright red but not from anger, humidity and emotional stress. Her usual soft perfectly waved honey brown hair is damped, slightly puffy and sticking to her cheeks. Lastly, to complete her messy appearance, her expensive water proof mascara gave up on and smeared down along with her tears. The bright red lipsticks that she loves to wear, always, faded and slightly smeared to the side of her small plump lips.

"Joy! Are y-you seriously crying!? What the fuck, woman! You better stop, we ain't no lil' bitches... w-we bad bitches or whatever," I said, starting to feel a little embarrassed since I don't usually call myself or even say that. 'Tis pretty embarrassing to say but it's something she loves to say, so I'd say it to make her feel better, or whatever.

The rain slowed down by now, I could hear her soft sniffles echoing through the mausoleum.

"Don't laugh at me... I'm just... I can't even, like-shit man! I ain't no lil' bitch but sometimes, a bad bitch can cry at least twice a year and I mean, how could I not!? I wasn't expecting all of that, even if it was kinda shitty way of expressing yo-self but anyways! I'm crying because," she took a moment to calm down from her ugly wailing cry then continued, " I really wasn't expecting that at all! Because I had asked you like four fuckin' times! You dumb drunk bitch! I just fuckin' asked ya, when you finna leave! You already told me that you was finna move on that same day I overheard ya which was three fucking months ago! But you just didn't tell me when."

It was quiet for a few seconds, only the light and peaceful naturist sounds outside was heard... until I ruined it with a snort followed by a burst of laughter, along with Joy's hyena laugh.

"Are you serious?" I asked, trying to control my laughter as I spoke.

"Bitch yes! But I mean, I ain't complainin' much 'cus I love it! Like O.M.G bitch, like you really do barely open up 'bout yo self, I have to be the one to bothe' you just to get somethin' out. Plus, your husky voice is very relaxing to listen to, you should do some kind of podcast that helps people sleep! So very soothing." she said, smiling like an idiot. "I also like drunk Peanut, 'cus you are somewhat much more nicer and spill everything that you usually hold back from telling me... even if I simply ask ya something that is irrelevant to what you said but I appreciate it. Seriously tho', answer my fuckin' question! When are you leaving?" She had asked in all seriousness.

My laughter had completely died down by now, "...a week before the end of summer break."

She let out an exaggerated sigh and fiddled her bare feet as she gulped down the rest of Jack Daniel's Honey liqueur that she stole for a special day like today, for me.

"Nooo! What the hell Joy, I wanted more you whore! ...tsk, asshole," I grumbled.

She smirked and poked my nose, "no! I think you have had, had enough...and did you hear yourself!" She giggled loudly, "you rhymed!"

"Um, I think you have had, had enough." I mimicked and rolled my eyes at her but chuckled when she softly bumped my shoulder with hers.

"True," she dragged out and grinned, "but I was the one who bought it, therefore, I am the one to drink it all."

I snorted and let out a few wheezing laughs here and there, "did you really say therefore? That's hilarious. Pero bitch; first of all, you stole it and secondly, 'cus it's one of the few alcohols that I actually like to drink, especially on this day."

"Since you just laughed at me for using "therefore" I won't buy you another to take with you on the day you leave my sorry ass." She huffed

"Don't you mean steal? And they don't allow alcohol at the airport... and if they did, I'm still underage smarty-pants."

"Oh right... well that's a closed case but whatever! I'll still buy- oops, I mean steal one anyways and also the RumChata, and then we will both drink it together on that same day before you leave! So you can go drunk!" She giggled, "I know you won't be able to finish it all on your own and oh! We will also throw a part-ayyyy!"

I chuckled and shook my head at her, "Joy, you and your crazy choice of words," I laugh while thinking back to her saying "closed case".

"You know what's crazy... RumChata. Like it sounds so ridionc."

"I swear, whenever Josh had asked if I drink and what kind, I couldn't say it because it really does sound ridiculous."

"Correction! Ridonc or ridonculous."

"Oh, sorry. I mean ridonculous."

It was quiet for a minute or two. We listened to the rain and watched it fall as we were lost in our own thoughts. She broke the silence first after a while of spacing out.

"Do you think your dad minds us drinking on his day?" She asked me, still in thought.

"Yeah... but fuck it?"

She snickered and shakes her head, "I bet he is cursing you out from above."

"Probably, but he still loves me." I smiled. "I also bet that whoever is in that tomb, is also cursing us out." It's fucked up, but we both laugh as we imagine it.

I sighed loudly as I reminisced more of my memories with Joy. Before we both met each other, and as cliché as it kinda sounds, life was depressing and dull. We were both lonely, depressed, and emotionally a mess... partly because of teenage hormones and the other part is 'cause—plain and simple; that is just life.

"Hmm... um Pepe-"

"What's up with you giving me a lot of stupid nicknames," I said, rudely interrupting her.

She gave me a nasty but playful glare and continued. "Anyways, so I've been thinking,"

"O-oh, someone's been thinking, wow."

"Shut up! Let me finish... we will be starting senior year... time flies by fast, really fast and I just don't want us to drift away now that we will be-"

"Joy-"

"No! Just listen," she said in a serious tone, "we only have this whole summer together and I need you to promise-"

"I promise. I promise you that we will not drift. We won't drift because you are my person! Nothing is going to change that. Now, I don't want to hear it or talk about any of that for right now... I don't wanna feel all blue and shit... okay?"

She looked at me under her thick lashes and nodded with a small smile. She rested her head on my shoulder and held my hand, we listened to the rain and stared at nothing... slowly falling asleep... even though there was a fresh rotting corpse with us, but oh well, fuck it? R.I.P Jonathan Coleman, pardon the disturbance.

After summer 2015 ends, we will both go our separate ways but not forever. It won't be a goodbye, it'll be a see you later... or so I thought.