Before The Storm - Comes Dark Clouds

And Just Like That

A young, invisible young girl in her teens, feeling deep in her heart she could do anything, she could be anything but most of all she thought everything was going to fall into place.

In only moments, thunder and lightening hit her heart, to bring her to a breaking point. A point of not knowing where to go or who to turn to.

Falling in love at a very young age, as she looks back now was the silliest thing she ever did. Focusing on her education and friends would have been the best way to have gone, dating others would have been even more wonderful. The worst was falling for one individual, all the way through high school.

The thunder and lightening happened when she started to feel very ill in the summer after her grade 13 graduation, He was there, he took her to her dance after the award ceremony but really wanted to leave early.

The highlight of the night was to watch a beautiful farm, burn to the ground. Seeing the fire department struggling to get as many animals out of the barn, only for the barn to burn right down, was the saddest day ever.

The ride home was quiet, yet the kiss and the wonderful hug as she stepped down from the truck was beautiful.

Together A Few Times That Summer

It is true that many say absence can make the heart grow fonder, or make you grow.

As young teens temptation of longing to be together, very romantically was no problem. Until she did the unthinkable.

The school went around and asked questions for the year book about what do you think the future holds for you. It was then that she invisioned working in a big office on comput0rs (just came out into the industry). Another was the hopes of settling down and marrying one day.

Most teenage girls have a goal of being with someone, to love and share life with.

Just that comment really struck a nerve with the fella she was dating. Even worse she had a very dark secret that only her mother knew of.

After working really hard in an office, putting money away and starting to do her best at taking good care of herself, she did the unthinkable.

She wanted to help her one and only love, giving him money to help him purchase a vehicle that he so longed to have, as well as telling her he would pay her back very soon, turned into one of the biggest mistakes ever.

A visit to his home for dinner one night ,his father took her aside and really used abusive words. He cornered her in and told her she was the dumbest individual, calling her all kinds of names but also told her while he was alive, she would never see a drop of the money that she gave to his son. Also that she was never good enough for his son, and he did not want her around ever.

Shaking and could not wait to go home as fast as she could, never ever wanting to return back again.

It Only Got Tougher

Things just started happening. After becoming sick every morning at work, even at her desk. She made a quick trip to the doctors.

Finding out she was pregnant at the age of eighteen and further along than she ever thought possible, she was scared but she never wanted her soon to be ex boyfriend to know. With is father and his anger, she feared him trying to take the child away.

The young man came over once, she tried to talk to him, she wanted to tell him. His mind was elsewhere, he spoke about everything but that. The night ended terribly and he left and that was the last time she seen him.

Putting her effort into finding a place to live with her child to be born Feb 3 of the next year, she had a lot to do on her own. Talking with her mom from time to time, really helped but yet she was terrified.

Feeling young and alone, she was going to be a mom, found an apartment across the street from her work and everything seemed organized.

Until one day at work, pain constantly hit her. She asked her manager if she could leave, heading right to the Hospital.

Sadly in November, with only 3 months to go, her little boy had no heartbeat. Delivered so small, she gave him a beautiful name and kept in the hospital overnight. Not even a funeral or a way to celebrate, his little tiny body was taken away.

Struck Right In The Heart

As the child was growing inside, her sweet little boy, who would be coming up 40 this next coming year. Emptiness came over her, to a point beyond hope.

Telling her mom and locking herself in her room, for a couple of weeks. She did the unthinkable, she was about to take an overdose, when her mom stopped her and sent her to get help at a local Hospital.

Only in passing after that, did she ever see her teenage boyfriend. Yet the miracle of a ex co-worker becoming such a wonderful friend, getting her out of the house and doing things ,lifted her spirits.

Beyond Hope

Everything happens for a reason. It may hurt at first, it may be the most painful event in your life, but you learn from it, you grow from it and you go forward with hope and courage.

With her ex-coworker and many friends, every weekend she started going out, dancing, roller skating and even went out on a few dates. Funny enough a few of her ex boyfriend friends called her to date, but she turned them down.

No she had feelings for the ex co-worker but he only wanted to be a really good friend to her. He came for dinner with the family, he was also part of an organization that her parents were involved in, so it was never uncommon for him to be at the dinner table as she was getting all dressed up for a date.

Trying her best to make him jealous, she took extra care of herself, joined a gym, getting her hair done and her nails but most of all wore really nice outfits. ( she started to take extra measures in taking care of her)

She told us how one night just before Christmas, she had a dinner date at a really nice place. Wearing a really shiny red dress with a slit in the side, high black pumped heels, walking by her ex co-worker (her dear friend). Well I guess the look on his face said it all. He told her she looked beautiful and winked at her as she was leaving.

The Wonderful And Exciting Turning Point

A wonderful evening out with a man that was very handsome, a great individual to talk to, yet he was still in love with his ex. We talked for quite a while and had a wonderful dinner, only ending the night with a hug. ( it was not meant to be)

Going into the house, telling herself it when one door closes another will open. Yet it was nice to go out for dinner and meet new people. Realizing that she should have done more of this growing up, yet her feelings for her ex-coworker (friend) were very deep in her heart.

Heading into the livingroom she could hear laughter. Guess who was there?

Sure enough, there was the man of her dreams waiting to talk. That is what they did. Staying up and eating snacks, playing scrabble the two of them talked and talked. He said he had feelings for her for a very long time, even back when she was dating in high school. That he really wanted to ask her out but he felt she had strong feelings for her ex.

Now that he was seeing her dating, he really needed to ask if she would go out with him but to go slow.

Slow they went, and had the best time ever. They had so much in common, from travelling to the west coast to sleeping in the mountains. Riding along side the mountains on a horse, to photography and a whole lot more.

That Was 40 Years Ago

This past year, they celebrate 37 wonderful years of marriage but most importantly, they celebrate 40 years of being the best friends ever.

She wants everyone to know, never give up, reach out when you need help and most importantly, do not let anybody bully you to the point of breaking. There are so many people in the world that cares about you, who are there for you. Even if it takes time,its worth it. Most importantly you are worth it.

There is so much more to see and do in our beautiful world. Always remember to do it for yourself and no one else.