So I was just sitting in my room watching people eat on my TV and i thought to myself… man I'm hungry! Lol I was hungry but that’s besides the point. I started thinking about you, about time, how much longer I had to wait, had to keep painfully striving forward in this house, waiting for the day I can be held in your arms, and forget about the hard times. There's been a couple of ways I've been trying to deal with this but I thought maybe writing down how I felt about you and how i just felt in general every other day might help me cope. Yea I know usually doing that wouldn't help much and you would think it would just make things harder for me but in a strange way I feel like it's going to help a lot. So here we go. Hopefully if I even have the guts, I'll send this to after I've seen you.
06/14/2020- Right now it's past midnight. You’re on House party talking to your friends. It's been a Hella rough day but through it all I've been thinking about nothing but you. You're just like this remedy that makes me feel like I'm in heaven in a matter of seconds. I tell myself every day not to give in, just hold on a little bit longer, because if I don’t, I won't be able to see you. I could honestly just say fuck it and go completely crazy and rogue but I know that wont do me or you any good. This is also a good time to say that I've been teaching myself how to be a little less greedy when it comes to you, me and your friends. I want myself to understand that you don't get to spend as much time with them as you do with me and i need to learn how to accept that and let you have fun and talk to them. I Would Have joined the house party but i honestly felt like crap today. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get into detail about it if you call me, I just can't, it hurts and aggravates me too much, and i don't want you to see me when i get mad. I hate seeing myself getting mad. But anyway i love you so much and I miss you so much baby.
6/19/2020- Its past midnight again lol. I keep telling myself I'm going to start doing these before then but I'm too lazy so yea haha. I just don't understand why but everything you do and say just affects me in such a weird but not always bad way. More of a good way than a bad one. Just a simple I love you warms my heart so much it's ridiculous. That or it just makes me tear up but same difference lol. You've been quite busy, with work and with your friends at house party, which I have no problem with so don't get me wrong. I keep telling myself I'll join the party but what's the point if I only want to talk to you. I just think what I really want to do right now is do absolutely nothing but stare into your eyes and smile like I'm a complete idiot. It's like when I do that I relax in an instant. All the stress, anger and whatever else I felt on that day would be gone, and be replaced with the feelings of peace and happiness. A feeling I wish that could last forever.
For the people who want to know, No I haven't seen him yet. So this will be continuing until I do see him.
About the Creator
Marcy M
Just some girl that writes whatever random story that comes to mind.
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