Arcane Knights

Sooooophiiiiiiie!

Have you received any of my letters?

Letters written in the form of art and literature; I’ve been waiting to see you all again for years. I keep checking in to see if anyone’s come out of the woodwork to say hello, but the metaphorical mailbox is always empty. Now, here I am again, writing another letter of how you took a 9-year-old girl and made her feel like she could take on the world. …Or was I ten?

If I were to count the number of times I felt left out and like I didn’t belong, I’d run out of fingers to hold up. An easy feat for anyone, I suppose, but I carried it like it was the definition of my soul, like a painting on the wall that’s been there for so long it’s become second nature to dismiss its existence. Maybe it’s just me, I thought, and I’m destined to be sidelined until the end of time. Then you came, with the others in tow, and listened to me. You made me feel like my voice truly meant something, like you actually enjoyed my presence beside yours. Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me go back to the beginning.

I remember making my first character on Fiesta, back when Outspark was running the show. I gave her a name that I’d later alter to Bsparkx, the name of the cleric you met. I used to run around with my 340hp heal, hitting my "3" key 10 times just to get someone back up to full health. My dad played the game at the time too, and we were both in your academy, Arcane Knights!

I talked with you, Naughty_Rosie, and GEEKx the most. You knew how young I was, yet it felt like you spoke to me like a friend. I remember good mornings as I said goodnight. I remember reading the chat as new messages kept coming in. I remember feeling like I could say hello, and someone would always say hi back. The academy, then the guild, and then academy again, when they increased the “graduation” level, became my second family. I remember you hiding in the bushes, buffing people in secret, and thinking I wanted to be just like you.

I remember when you said some members had been causing trouble. I remember when you said people were starting to leave, some joining other guilds, some whose lives were picking up, so they had to step away. I remember an announcement that you’d be leaving too and that someone new would try to bring Arcane Knights back to its former glory. I remember everything slowly fading away.

I remember how you still never really left me. I remember my dad telling anyone and everyone of this wonderful group of people online, on an online game at that, who made me less shy! I remember hoping you’d read these letters someday. I don’t recall when I thought you wouldn’t, but I know that I keep writing them anyway. I keep myself open, knowing that I’m still here if any of you somehow find your way to me, and perhaps, I can thank you. We only knew each other for a couple of years, and yet that time has become a defining moment in my life.

Can I share my favourite picture with you?

When I look at it, it often makes me cry. I think it’s the perfect picture that showcases everything Arcane Knights and the people within it meant to me. How you were all so caring, friendly, funny, and always writing in the academy chat to include everyone. I remember feeling so peaceful when I took that screenshot too, and maybe I’m getting sappy here, but I remember being so content. A cute outfit for my character, cat ears, sitting and overlooking a virtual beach with my favourite people nearby.

I met a lot of other people since we parted; I even met my boyfriend on Fiesta! I studied art and graphic design and created so many projects around Fiesta and what it has meant to me. I keep working on myself and have achieved so many things, broken through so many fears. I think you would be proud of me if you knew the whole picture. When I met you all, I was so quiet, so shy, and now I find myself leading conversations and actions in a way I never dreamed I ever would.

So now we have come to the end of my coming-of-age story, and as I feel myself starting a new one, I want you to know how grateful I am that all of you were in it. Perhaps this will be another letter lost in the wind, but whatever may come of it, I know it has served its purpose.

Signed,

Bsparkx.