And They Lived Happily Ever After

Sometimes it is as if people see what is bad rather than what is good as if it is easier for them to destroy than to build as if they live more with regrets than with hopes… Instead of looking ahead, towards the road that awaits them, they return with their thoughts to the past, thus refusing without realizing the experience of the present moment and the building of a better future.

Everyone who has a certain life experience has regrets; But those who are truly experienced also know that these regrets are useless, if not harmful. Someone once said, "It is better to regret what you have done than what you have not dared to do"; true, but perhaps it is wiser to put aside regrets.

What is and what follows is less important than what was. In addition, any experiences, good or bad, shape you and prepare you to get where you want to go, as long as you have the power to learn from them, not to regret them…

A beautiful ending love affair leaves you with regrets, it's normal; but how long can you live with your regrets? You no longer live but remain stuck in the past that you idealize. That's why you're building a bleak future on your own.

Why not regrets after a past love affair:

There are two types of regrets after a past love affair:

Regret the relationship, sadness, pain, despair that the relationship is over. It is what we might call the "nostalgia of the past." Maybe it was real love, maybe it was a great relationship but it's over! And of course, it ended for a reason. It is easy in your fantasies to imagine that you are taking it from the beginning and that everything is wonderful, but in reality most of the time the problem that existed will still exist between you. Sure, reconciliation is possible, but only when both want it; if this is not the case, then you are doing yourself a disservice with your fantasies and regrets.

The advice is "go ahead and forget" - you can't forget so easily and you can't help but love the command, you can't tell the pain "go!". But staying in the past is a trap. Live the pain, give yourself time to cry, stay alone for a while… but don't forget that you have to, you need to look to the future and not to the past!

One more thing: it is like a man to idealize what has been, to bring back to his mind what was beautiful, to desire what he has lost; it is somehow natural to want what you no longer have and to despise or be indifferent to what you still have or what you might have. But, thinking honestly and as rationally as you can: was your love affair so wonderful, or do you just turn it into a dramatic and unique love story ?? Were you so happy? (don't compare to your miserable condition after the breakup).

When you live with regrets, you have no chance to live d something else; even reconciling with your ex will not work, because instead of seeing the real person in front of you, you idealize her as the only love, you see an illusion…

I regret that you wasted time with this relationship, that you could be so naive to love someone who doesn't deserve it. This kind of regret doesn't help you at all. On the contrary, it raises doubts about your choices and your love in general.

Why regret being with someone, even if you conclude doesn't deserve you? It may have been a mistake, but at the same time, it was an experience to learn from, not to judge and lose hope in love relationships.

Maybe you had a relationship with someone horrible; but does it help regret it? Or maybe you should look at what attracted you to the person and avoid such mistakes in the future? By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the mother to be inactive.

One more thing: most people "smell" the fact that you still feel stuck in a past love affair, even if it's just the anger and disappointment of being with that person. Any regrets you still carry with you, they feel you have no chance to give the impression of a person capable of taking it from the beginning, without "heavy emotional baggage". Everyone will avoid you, even if they like you when they feel that you are still living in part in the past…

Let's leave the past and move on to the future! The only role of the past is to teach and train us for what lies ahead.