Addicted Prison

I would like to start by introducing myself, My name is Kaylon, I am a Psychiatric Technician , I was in Active addiction from age 21 up until age 33, and my

drug use, as some of you may be able to relate, was a huge burden in my life, and in the lives of those who

I loved, and who loved me, I was a spousal caregiver for nearly 11 years, after my wife passed

away in 2020, I had an awakening which led me to where I am now, here is my story.

My time with drugs has been an eye-opening experience, it has been something that has done

so in a substantial way, not just due to the loss I have felt in relation to addiction itself, but also

because of the personal growth I have gone through during my time, in, and after active

addiction.

I have lost my mother, my brother, and many other family members to addiction,

including sister in laws, and many friends. I in many ways am now alone in the world, I have 3

siblings left, of which I have contact with one, the other two relationships are finally being rebuilt,

after years of progress, and proof that I am in fact living a life of sobriety, I have been actively

working on getting my older brother into treatment, which has now finally beared successful

fruits.

I won’t go back to the beginning, I just want to include the parts that I feel are important.

I began using substances at the age of 21, I was a poly substance abuser, so i did not have a

DOC,

My wifes death is what woke me up, after losing her, I felt as though my spirit was

crushed beyond repair, and for the next year, after her passing, I began working on finding

ways to heal. I was born into a family that was riddled with addiction,however, it was my choice

to abuse drugs, my drug abuse combined with the loss of my wife, my nephews murder and the

loss of my brother, my mother, 3 sister in laws, and many friends, caused a spiritual awakening

to occur, which has vastly altered the course of my life.

I felt utterly alone after my wife passed away, I had one friend who did stand by my side,

even when I began having obvious symptoms of mental illness, that was in a large part

attributed to drug use, even at that, she stood by me. I began a process of healing after a

complete mental break, where I reached the point of not being able to discern reality from

delusion. I ended up in the psyche ward in 2020 after doing the last celebration of life for my

wife, a year to the day later, when the weight of the grief blew up inside my mind, with the

effects of substance abuse, this caused my sanity to develop a crack, which led, to the complete

shattering of myself, Psychologically, Emotionally, and Mentally. My spirit persevered when my

other cognitive functions seemed to be failing me.

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and psychosis, but this diagnosis, in a way, was a

blessing, due to the changes it caused me to make, in every area of my life, it gave me strength,

it did not deter me. The point I want to express, which I feel is the greatest of importance, is

this. just because you have a mental illness diagnosis, or have substance abuse issues, it

does not have to be a road block for you, it can be a way for you to focus, for once, on truly

coming to terms with where your life has been, and where you want your life to go, healing, is a

life long process, and having these experiences, can help you to continue on in life with a sense

of purpose, in being able to help others who too suffer from this type of affliction.

One more thing I would like to include, is that my recovery consists of exercise,

meditation, and spiritual practices, such as stoicism, constant intake of knowledge pertaining to

the betterment of self, and self care techniques, I have spent the last 2 years devoting my life to

helping others to heal. After my nephews murder in 2017, Considering the depth of pain that

was felt from this loss, I began training in various ways, I workout to produce endorphins, and I

run 12-16 miles a day on average, also incorporating meditation and positive self talk into my

habits.

My healing is multifaceted, and it should be for us all, because the more options you

have in your recovery, the greater your chances of succeeding, One more thing I would like to

say, is this, Ensure that you always choose your associations wisely, because the actions of

those which we choose to surround ourselves with, will have an impact on us, whether that is

positive or negative is up to us, just as it is up to us, to choose who we surround ourselves with.

We will all make mistakes in this life, but we can’t view those mistakes as failures, instead view

them as lessons, learn from them, and allow these lessons, to strengthen who you are, and

always strive to be better tomorrow, than you were yesterday